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TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

Lizzie

JANUARY 1, 2000

F OR THE LONGEST TIME I HAD PROGRAMMED MY HEART TO EXPECT SADNESS . I PUT IT down to the fact that I had an unsettled mind and had learned from a young age that everything was temporary.

Good or bad .

No matter how long something lasted, it would never be permanent.

I knew this, and still I let myself slip into a false sense of security.

I allowed my heart to trick my mind.

For months, I allowed myself to believe that I had turned a corner, that life wouldn’t be so hard for me anymore.

I had the greatest boyfriend on planet earth.

I had the best friends.

I had a healthy mother.

I had a father who looked happy to see me now.

I was healthy.

I was stable.

I didn’t want to die anymore.

The bubble shattered this morning when Sinead woke me up before the others. Taking me by the hand, she led me downstairs to the kitchen. From there, she proceeded to tell me that, during the New Year’s Eve party at my house last night, my mother had taken a turn.

For a moment, I just sat there, frozen in place, as I listened to the woman who I’d come to love like a second mother explain how my real mother had suffered a confirmed heart attack.

Sinead promised that Mam was holding her own after the heart attack, but when they ran some tests on her at the hospital, one of the scans picked up a shadow.

She didn’t need to say anything else after that.

I already knew what a shadow meant.

It’s back .

“You mustn’t think like that, sweetheart.” Sinead tried to console me when I voiced my thoughts aloud. “Nothing has been confirmed yet—not until the biopsy results come back.”

“They think it’s back, though,” I pushed, using the sleeve of my pajama top to wipe my eyes. “They wouldn’t be taking a biopsy if they didn’t.”

With a sympathetic expression, she reached for my hand. “They’re not sure, Lizzie.”

“If it’s back, it’s going to kill her,” I whispered, squeezing her hand. “It won’t stop until it kills her.”

“Your mother is the strongest woman I’ve ever met,” Sinead countered, sounding so confident that I almost believed her. Almost . “If—and that’s a very big if —the cancer has come back, then she will fight tooth and nail to defeat it.” She used her free hand to wipe a tear from my cheek. “And I will do whatever I can to help you through it.”

“Me?” I croaked out, unable to stop myself from leaning my cheek into her touch. “Why?”

“Because I love you, sweetheart,” Sinead replied, giving me a warm smile. “As a matter of fact, this entire family adores you, Lizzie Young, and you won’t be alone in this.” She wiped another tear from my cheek. “Not while there’s a Biggs in this town.”

“Okay,” I squeezed out, feeling a blanket of dread settle over me. Sniffling, I added, “Can I go and talk to Hugh now?”

“Of course you can.” Sinead pulled me in for a tight hug and pressed a kiss to the top of my head before pulling back to offer me a watery smile. “Go on upstairs to my son, sweetheart.”

On wobbly legs, I bolted for the staircase, barely making it to the top without falling. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t walk straight. Everything was spinning. Everything falling apart again.

Holding my breath to stop my screams escaping, I barged into Hugh’s room with one hand clamped over my mouth. Falling over Patrick, who was asleep on the bedroom floor, I scrambled toward the bed, not stopping until I got to Hugh.

“Liz?” Hugh’s raspy voice filled my ears as he blinked awake. “What’s up?” Noticing my expression, he sat up straight on the mattress and reached for me. “What happened, Liz?”

“Hugh!” Unable to hold it in another second, I flung my body at his and fell apart in his arms.

Because these arms were the only arms that never left.