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JUST FRIENDS

Hugh

JANUARY 25, 2004

T ODAY MARKED L IZ’S FORTIETH DAY IN TREATMENT .

It was the longest time we hadn’t seen each or spoke to each other in a decade, and every day, I continued to pine for what my soul assured me was its mate.

Unlike Pierce, who moved on within days of Liz’s departure, I still found myself thinking up excuses not to.

I wasn’t unattracted to the girls who asked me out. I was just uninterested.

It had been more than three months since our breakup, and I still wasn’t over her, while the thought of being with another girl made my skin crawl.

I knew my behavior wasn’t normal for a lad my age, and Feely reminded me of that often, but I just couldn’t .

Maybe I was programmed differently to the lads on my team, or maybe I was a prude like Liz had labeled me during one of her rampages when I wouldn’t have sex.

Nah, you’re definitely not a prude, lad .

It wasn’t like I didn’t want sex—of course I did. I just didn’t want it with anyone other than the very girl I couldn’t have it with…

“Hello again.”

I was so deep in my thoughts that I almost ignored the soft-voiced girl who seemed to be addressing me.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I retrained my attention from the locker I’d been staring aimlessly into to the familiar redhead smiling up at me.

“Uh, hey.” I turned to give her my attention. “Katie, right?”

“That’s right.” She smiled. “How’s it going?”

“Uh, grand.” I shrugged, knowing that I should give her more but not having it inside. “How’s it going for you?”

“It’s going,” she laughed, still smiling up at me. “So, listen, I wanted to apologize again for the whole maiming you on New Year’s Eve, while simultaneously thanking you for being so gracious about it.” Her cheeks flamed as she spoke. “I was in a really bad place that night, and I’d been… Uh, it doesn’t even matter.” She shook her head and offered me another bright smile. “Just thank you.” She winced before adding, “And sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” I replied, finding her rambling endearing. “And you need to thank me even less.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, who doesn’t want to be kissed by a pretty girl on New Year’s?”

Her breath hitched. “You think I’m a pretty girl?”

Feeling slightly cornered, I nodded slowly. “You know you’re gorgeous.”

Her cheeks turned the color of her curls. “Wow.”

Feeling uncomfortable, I cleared my throat and turned my attention back to closing and locking the door of my locker.

“Hey, would you be,” Katie started to say, only to stumble over her words. “I mean, do you want to maybe go to, uh, or, ah, go to the…or just…uh, never mind.”

I watched from the corner of my eye as she face-palmed herself, all the while muttering, “Stop talking, Katie,” to herself as she trudged away. “You’re only making it a million times more awkward.”

Smothering a laugh, I shouldered my bag and followed her. “You know, you should really cut yourself some slack.”

“I should?”

“Absolutely,” I confirmed, falling into step beside her. “That took balls.”

“Assertiveness,” she explained, tightening her grasp on the straps of her bag. “It’s on the top of my list of New Year’s resolutions.”

“Well, you can tick that off,” I mused, holding the door of the main building open for her. “What else is on that list of yours?”

“Oh, you know,” she sighed, waiting for me to follow her out. “The usual.”

“Humor me.”

“Let go of the past, stop worrying about things I have no control of, get over the asshole who broke my heart, go to mass every Sunday, kiss a boy, make more friends, and take more risks.” She grinned up at me. “Just your stereotypical teenage-girl bucket list.”

“Hmm.”

“What’s the hmm mean?”

“Nothing,” I replied, shaking my head. “We just have a few things in common.”

“The broken-heart part?” She winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I heard about that. Sorry.”

“It is what it is,” I replied, refusing to lose face.

“Do you want to?” she asked then, stopping in her tracks. “Want to hang out sometime after school?”

I stopped walking and turned back to look at her. “Like a date?”

“Or just as friends,” she replied with a shrug. “If you prefer.”

“I, ah…” My words trailed off and I fought down a sudden surge of panic. “I’m not, ah…” Another pause while I tried to push down the guilt that I was drowning in.

Stop it, asshole .

You have nothing to feel guilty about .

“I’m not ready for another relationship,” I admitted, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m, ah, I’m still…”

“Licking your wounds?” Katie said gently. “That’s okay. Me, too.”

“We could hang out, though,” I offered, forcing myself to take the leap. “As friends ?”

Her green eyes lit up. “I’d like that.”

“I like the cinema,” I blurted out, sounding like a fucking dope.

“Me, too.”

“I’m free on Friday,” I added, sounding like a lad who’d never been alone with a girl, let alone spoken to one. I suppose aside from Liz, I hadn’t.

“Friday is good for me.”

I eyed her warily. “As friends.”

Smiling, she nodded. “Friends.”

“Okay then.” I blew out a breath, feeling cautious and reluctantly hopeful. “I’ll, ah, I’ll text you later.”

“And I’ll text you back.” Shoving her hand into the pocket of her skirt, she pulled out a phone and waved it in front of me, cheeks reddening. “I have credit.”