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SLIPPING GIRLS AND SEETHING CENTERS

Hugh

OCTOBER 9, 2003

“Y OU NEED TO GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, ” K AV INSTRUCTED WHEN I WALKED ONTO the pitch ten minutes later than the rest of the team. “This is the fourth time this month you’ve been late to training, and you skipped last Thursday’s game.” He gave me a hard look. “Which would be annoying if you were a mediocre player, but you’re not. You’re a damn good fly half and the best ten we have. The team needs you, so get your bleeding priorities in order, lad.”

“I’ve a girlfriend, Cap.” A sick one at that . “Sorry I’m late, but she needed me.” Shrugging, I added, “She comes first.”

My captain looked at me like I had grown two heads in front of his eyes. “Are you mental?”

“No,” I replied slowly. “But if you’re expecting rugby to be my top priority, then I’ll tell you now that it’s never going to happen,” I replied, unwilling to take his bad mood. Not when I’ve already taken hers .

While I appreciated the physicality of rugby and the adrenaline rush it provided, it wasn’t my entire world like it was Johnny’s. I enjoyed all sports because I was naturally athletic, but that’s as deep as it went for me. I planned to continue playing until I finished secondary school and then hang up my boots for university. Because if I got the course I wanted at Trinity, and I would get it, there would be little time for sleeping, let alone extracurriculars.

Shaking my head, I jogged off in the direction of the rest of the team before our exchange got heated.

Unlike the one he had with Gibs, Johnny and I didn’t have the kind of friendship where I could confide in him about the true reason behind my absenteeism.

When he first moved to Ballylaggin, he was extremely standoffish to anyone without the name Gibsie. Back then, he was so pissed off over the move that he didn’t want to entertain the notion of putting down roots with friends. He was so hell-bent on going back to Dublin that he point-blank refused to engage with anyone but Gibs. He sat with the three of us at lunch, and we forged a somewhat square, but I swear back in the early days, Feely and I could have discussed building a bomb in front of him, and he wouldn’t have flinched. He was completely unattached from us. By the time we hit second year and Johnny finally started to accept that his new home was his permanent one, he began to warm up to the rest of us.

That wasn’t to say that Johnny wasn’t a good friend of mine. He was . He was the first one to step in to defend the three of us and alway s kept his word. If Cap told you he would do something, it got done, and if he told you he’d be somewhere, you didn’t have to worry about him not showing up. His word was good, his heart was gold, his love life was private, his lips were sealed, and his devotion to rugby was unmatched.

Johnny lived his life on a rigid schedule and saw the world through a black-and-white lens. Even if we were close enough to discuss deep and meaningful topics, my relationship with Liz wasn’t one he was well-versed in.

Because Johnny arrived on the scene only a handful of months before her sister died and he had a jam-packed schedule that left little to no free time, I never had a chance to introduce Liz to him.

After the funeral, any chance of them interacting was blown to smithereens when Liz removed herself entirely from our friendship group in a bid to distance herself from Johnny’s closest friend.

When Liz joined Tommen two years later, she kept a wide berth of Gibs. At school, my girlfriend kept her distance from anyone and anything even remotely involved with Gibs, which just so happened to include her boyfriend. Me .

My sister’s initial reaction to our relationship had deeply affected my girlfriend to the point where she continued to go out of her way to keep our relationship out of Claire’s face, even though Claire had long since stopped caring. Therefore, on the rare occasion we met during school somewhere other than the old library, she was never openly affectionate with me.

In fact, Liz kept to herself so much at school that I couldn’t remember a time she had ever spoken to Johnny.

On the other hand, Johnny had zero interest in learning a single detail of our personal lives that didn’t pertain to nutrition, sleep quality, and precision on the pitch. The only time he spoke about girlfriends was to warn us not to get distracted. Never once in the three years I’d known him had he even asked me what my girlfriend’s name was.

Which begged the question, how could Johnny relate to what I was going through with Liz? How could he understand that a girl came before rugby for me?

He couldn’t .

Maybe one day, a girl would walk into his world and bring him to his knees, like Liz did to me, but until that day came, it was easier to say nothing.

“Everything okay, Hughie?” Feely asked when I joined him stretching. Concern filled his blue eyes. “You’ve been late an awful lot lately.”

“Not you, too,” I grumbled, stretching out my glutes. “I just got it in the neck from Cap, lad. I don’t need another lecture from you.”

“No lecture,” he replied calmly. “Just concerned.”

“Yeah, well, me too,” I muttered under my breath.

Feely winced. “Is she okay?”

No. Not even close .

The call I’d received from her mother after Liz’s last appointment had confirmed that I was dead on the money.

My girlfriend was spiraling again.

The doctors had upped the dose of her current medication and had added another pill to the long list, with the hope of veering her away from the edge of full-blown mania, but so far it had been ineffective.

“She’ll be fine,” I said instead.

Feely wasn’t dense and knew something was up, but had the good sense not to ask questions. He knew, when it came to Liz, I was extremely protective. And even more private .

“All right, lad,” he replied, giving my shoulder a supportive squeeze. “I’m here when you need me.”