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Which was more than could be said for Jack the next day.

“This is a fucking suicide mission,” he said.

We sat around the dining room table, the remains of our breakfast spread across it along with pieces of paper hastily scribbled upon.

“So how many of these... flintlock type guns did they have?” Aaron asked.

“You’re not thinking about this right,” I said. “We had this brief glimpse at what was happening in Leifgart. I can’t give you reliable information about their arms stores.”

“That’s the name of their city, correct?”

“Yes, she’s said that about a million times,” Jack said. He leaned over and grabbed the cigarette packet from the table and stood up. “I’m going for a smoke. You comin,’ Hawk?”

“Not yet,” he replied. “We really need to wait for that bloke Sylvan to come back. He’s the one that lived there. He’d have the more accurate information.”

I watched Jack’s expression, saw the anger easily enough in the flash of his eyes and the thinning of his lips.

Slade glanced at him as he stood there and shook his head.

This was obviously the expected response from him, and no one seemed to like it.

But nothing changed, he jerked his body away from the chair and stormed out.

“So, Jules, this building here?—”

“Hawk’s right, we’re not likely to get very far without Sylvan. We’ll hopefully be able to talk to him soon, when Ophelia’s finished with him.” The guys watched me get to my feet. “I’ll be back in a second.”

“Where you off to?”

I turned to see Slade had followed me out, Buddy at his heels.

“I was just going to?—”

“You’re going to find Jack, aren’t you?”

“I’ve got to get this sorted. We can’t go through the portal like this.”

“We have to go through the portal, not Hawk, not Jack. I get you like Hawk, I do too. But Jack, he doesn’t want this. I said I’d never bullshit you, love, but this guy, he might be worth cutting loose.”

“You’ve never liked him, have you?”

He shook his head, snorting in frustration.

“What’s to like? You girls love arseholes, but he’s going to be less a sulky brat and more a fucking liability over there.

I’m walking with the woman I love into a literal monster’s den.

You can’t blame me for not wanting any weak links.

I love you, Jules. I want every bloke that’s there ready to lay his fucking life down to save you, or I don’t want them there.

That’s what you deserve, Jules, not this dickhead’s games.

” He watched me turn to go. “Where are you going?”

I nodded, frowning. “To get some answers.”

It took me a bit to find Jack. Some of the guys had been using a little balcony as a smoker’s spot, but he wasn’t there.

I looked through doors, walking and walking until I found him sitting on the floor, facing one of the big floor to ceiling windows, letting his cigarette ash fall on the plush carpet.

Did he know what this position did for him?

All of the men looked gorgeous in the sunlight, but there was something about Jack and his tumble of blond hair and his deep brown skin that seemed to soak up all radiance and let it light him from within.

Weirdly, even his shitty expression didn’t detract from that.

“Come to gloat, have you?”

I stopped where I was and just stared at him for a moment. “Fucking Jack,” was a pretty regular refrain around the house, and I could see why. He was like some kind of spoiled prince with the world at his feet, and he was somehow pissed about it.

“Does this work?” I said.

“What?”

“Like, you look like a fucking angel. It’s like the gods or the Great Wolf took male models and hot surfer dudes and the angels themselves and mixed it all up and made your body.

Like, in a place full of ridiculously hot guys, you’re still next level, but you walk around acting like a complete cunt to everyone.

What on earth do you have to be fucked off about?

You have Hawk. He loves you. He’s gorgeous, sweet, warm, has a dick like a Coke can, and is just generally a good guy.

Back in the human world, anyone—guy or girl, gay or straight or whatever—would be honoured to go through life with a guy like him by their side.

So why do you walk around like someone pissed in your cornflakes?

You have everything, Jack. Fucking appreciate it. ”

He rubbed the ash he’d let fall into the carpet’s fibres, creating a grey patch there before standing and walking over to me.

“If I have everything, then why aren’t I enough?

Why did he walk away from me, mid-conversation, to go running across the field just for a sniff of you?

Why did the sex get that much hotter, with him hard all the fucking time, nailing me over and over, but he was never satisfied?

Why does he need to add someone else, a whole lot of someone elses, to what we have?

He’s mine, Jules.” His eyes burned as bright as the ones from his Tirian form as he slammed his hand into his chest, the tattoos lighting up there in response. “He’s all I’ve got.”

“Then fight for him! Go and tell him how you feel. Ask him to pull out of this, for you. If this is not what you want, if the thought of going through the gate scares you, say so!”

“I’m not scared of the fucking gate. I might not be a soldier boy, but I’ve fought my way out of many a scrap.

More than fucking Prince Finn, anyway.” When he turned to look at me, I never wished more that we were officially bonded.

There was so much in his stare I couldn’t decipher.

He moved closer, herding me until my back hit the wall.

“You scare me a fuckload more than some kinda giant wolf that can swallow me whole. I can stay here when you guys go off on your little adventure, I can break things off with Hawk. Both’ll hurt, the last one probably more than I can bear, but they aren’t the problem. It’s you.”

“How am I the fucking problem?” I tried to snap that out, but it came out higher and more breathy than I’d hoped.

“Beautiful girl, who winds us all right around your finger.” His mouth was only inches from mine as he said the words, his hands going up to push mine against the wall.

“I’m not trying to.”

“No, that I know. If you were one of the local girls playing games, I’d have some kind of fucking defence, but I don’t.

You just come in here, all worried about the guys and the bullshit the matriarchs are pulling, wanting to go haring off and risk your life for men you’ve never even met?

How do I defend myself against that? You’re everything we wanted, back when we were kids, dreaming of the one who’d complete our pack. ”

“So, you’re mad at me because you’re into me? That’s kinda primary school.”

“I’m mad because you’re gonna waltz in and change fucking everything I’ve built over the years.

You’re going to drag us along while you're being all heroic, bond us, join us to bloke’s who can’t fucking stand me.

Can’t you fucking see it, Jules? You’re breaking everything down, and I’m here, gasping from the intensity and just wanting to lay myself at your feet and ask for more. ”

He kissed me. Of course, he did. Our breath was synchronised, coming in fast. I could taste the ash of his mouth before our lips even touched.

His body was tight as a bowstring, all that strength kept leashed.

Fingers raked at bodies, teeth bit down on lips.

He was hard and aching and thrusting spasmodically against me, making me burn for a whole lot more.

But I wasn’t going to take advantage of it.

“Jack, Jack, stop. Jack.” He pulled away finally, stung.

I watched his face close down, his shoulders set, his chin lifting, but when he went to draw away farther, my hand snapped around his wrists, and I wouldn’t let go.

“Heat is never a problem with you and me. We can hate fuck from now until the end of time, but it’s not going to solve anything.

While I want to ride that pretty face of yours until you’re covered with me, that’s not what we need. ”

“Yeah?” His voice was a husky rasp, that sly smile creeping back. “Because you smell so fucking good right now.”

“No, no, stop sniffing me, stop doing that as well.” I bit back a moan as his lips trailed along my neck.

I growled in frustration. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was trying to be good or just him, but my body felt like it was on fire.

I pushed him back, then spun around and shoved him up against the wall.

“Mmm...” He bit his lip slowly. “I do like me some dominance play.”

“No. No dominance play, no fucking, no doing any of the things you’re thinking about, either. I need to know, Jack. Are you in or out?”

It took a second for the haze of lust to recede. I don’t think he was wholly comfortable when my words sunk in, but he would be damned if he was going to look away.

“You mean on this fool’s errand? I?—”

“Don’t.” He fell silent, eyes struggling to hold mind.

“This is fucking hard for me too. I have no idea what I’m doing, have no mental models for what having a relationship with so many men looks like.

I am so scared I’m going to hurt someone, everyone, and now this.

..” I stared down at the carpet. “You want out? I’ll tell Hawk it's not going to happen. That’s gonna kill me, but I’ll do it.

I really, really like him. I get why you’re scared.

I’d be fucking terrified if he was mine, and someone else was coming into the relationship.

But I’ll do it. You can take him and kiss him better and fucking bite him already.

Make him yours and only yours. But you have to decide, now, are you up for trying things with me and my pack, or are you out? ”

I didn’t want to look at him. I could feel his eyes on my face, but I didn’t want to see his reaction or find out once and for all what was happening between us.

But I couldn’t go walking literally into the wolf’s den with this kind of instability.

We needed to start working as an actual pack outside the bedroom as well as inside.

I forced my head up. Had I ever spent as much time laying my heart on my sleeve as I had in Sanctuary?

Just getting up every day and knowing my mates could tap into my feelings at any point in time, felt like the hero’s bloody journey.

Every one of them did something that made my heart twist with that kind of painful joy that had you coming back for more.

“Of course, I’m in, you idiot,” he said, but his gentle tone belied his words.

“That’s why I’m so fucking torn up all the time.

” He kissed me, but this time it was a soft thing, just a press of lips to lips for a moment that seemed to last forever.

“I can’t promise it’ll be all hearts and flowers.

Hawk’ll set you straight there. I’m a prickly bastard, that’s not likely to change. ”

“I don’t want you to be someone else, Jack. There’s something about your obstinate arse that I like. I just need you to talk to the two of us, at least. You’re not hiding anything by lashing out. Just talk it through. We can work this out if we keep talking.”

“OK.” He looked at me, a slow smile starting. “You sure we don’t need to celebrate this newfound accord in bed?”

“No, Jack. I want you to help me to get the hell out of here for a while.”

“You skiving off, Jules? I knew I liked you. Shirking responsibilities and pissing off those blokes of yours? Honey, I’ve got you covered.”

I giggled as he jerked me out of the room and down the hall, looking around in a cartoonish manner—as if the guys would come stomping after us—but I felt a kind of lightness as we ran outside our wing, down the huge staircase, and outside the building.

He did too, if the grin on his face was anything to go by.

“What have we got here?” he said to himself as he looked through the garage under the house proper. “Finny boy’s truck! That’ll do nicely.” I hovered as he opened the door and then hopped in.

“Umm... should we be doing this?”

“You gonna piss people off, you may as well go the whole hog, I say.” There was something to that bright smile, a challenge perhaps?

Would I step up and into the car, putting everything inside the alpha residence symbolised right now or not?

A yip had me turning around when I saw Buddy come flying out of the house.

As always, he made the decision for me, throwing himself into the open door and taking up a spot in the middle of the bench seat.

“Cockblocked by a dog,” Jack said with a grin, starting the car once I got in. “I was gonna slide my hand up your thigh and?—”

“I’ll take you and Hawk into one of the rooms and fuck you until you’ve got no more cum to give, if you keep your hands to yourself until we get home,” I said. “I’m rationalising walking away from my mates when they really need me by saying I’m doing it to get to know you better.”

“Yeah?” His voice sounded so different, I looked over Buddy’s head to check it was still him. He was pleased, the grin showed that, but as he eased the car out onto the driveway, was that...? I peered closer.

“Are you blushing?”

“Fuck off!”

“You are!” I yelped as the sun streamed in the car window, showing the reddened state of his cheeks.

“It’s a manly flush from thinking about all the hot monkey sex we’re gonna have. I need a smoke.”

My hand went out to grab the packet on the dash in the same moment his did, our fingers brushing. He darted me a quick look before drawing both of our hands behind Buddy’s back. We drove out of the alpha residence, holding hands like teenagers.