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They'd wanted to talk for ages about that.

Of course, they did, I'd totally buried the lead, knowing if that was on the table, they wouldn't hear anything else.

Finn shut everyone up and listened stony faced when I told them the story.

Slade got up and inspected the new scar, Aaron looked stricken, then furious, grabbing his phone and ringing his CO.

Brandon sat down beside me and held my hand and asked me how I felt.

Jack watched the whole thing with an incredulous smirk, and when Hawk announced he was going, I jumped at the chance.

"I'll come with," Jack said, slinking up next to us, "for moral support, of course."

"You're supposed to be laid up in bed with the shits or whatever excuse you used," Hawk said, slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"And anyway, you need a cab of your own for your bloody ego.

I'm taking Jules, and you're going to have to broker some peace with the rest of them, because you might have dumped me here, but I'm staying for the interim. C'mon, love."

Hawk was right about me , I thought as I walked over to his truck.

He was a big, boofy man, perfectly capable of looking after himself.

I hadn't wanted anyone's touch clouding the issue as I got what I had to say out, scared I'd be knee deep in yet another twelve-orgasm orgy within seconds if they did, all my good intentions tossed aside with my clothes.

But his touch felt kinda different. It was more like that exciting but awkward, first date feel, rather than me feeling an immediate need to shove my hands down his pants.

Though as he walked away from the passenger side, after having opened the door for me, I looked at that perfectly proportioned arse and imagined just what Jack had been doing to it.

Hawk's dark bulk juxtaposed by Jack's slightly more streamlined blond.

.. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip before I realised what I was doing.

Hawk looked at me quizzically as I climbed in beside him, his nostrils flaring.

Then he smiled, that supremely confident smirk men do when they know you think they're hot.

Of course, I think they're hot , I thought grumpily as I clipped my seat belt.

After watching Brandon and Aaron together, it'd opened a whole new world of hard bodies, and my libido and imagination were pretty keen to plumb every depth of the live gay porn show I got on occasion.

Perhaps that's why I watched him light his cigarette with hungry eyes, those big hands going through the motions with practised ease.

I jumped when Buddy landed on my lap, obviously having leapt in through my open door.

He plonked his furry butt in the space between us and I shut the door.

"You're not the first one, y'know," Hawk said as we drove away from the house. I looked at him, confused. "Only time I get noticed is when Chuckles isn't around."

"Hawk..." My hand went out before I thought about it, Buddy stopping me from patting his leg. Patting his leg. What was I thinking? I barely knew the guy, and he'd already said we were treating him like a child.

He shot a look at me and shook his head. "It's alright. I know what people see in him. I'm in love with the ungrateful bastard. He shines pretty fucking bright, everyone else can't help but lurk in the shadows."

"Hey, I saw you first that day?—"

"In the field? I know. God, your fucking scent half yanked me across the grass before I'd even had a chance to process it.

That's when I knew." His eyes slid sideways.

"I haven't participated in a mating contest since we were in our 20s.

No point when we know how the women'll react.

I dunno, there was something about you. I was scrambling around, trying to find some kind of suitable token when the news went out last night, but fucking Jack. .."

I was shocked out of my study of the man when he pulled over the car suddenly, reaching between Buddy's legs to yank the handbrake on.

"C'mere," he said to me. He wasn't sure I would, I could see that in the angle of his shoulders, the closed off expression on his face.

"C'mon Bud," I said to my dog, swapping places with him in a series of clumsy gestures. This ended up with Bud leaning against the window, scanning the landscape beyond for cool stuff, and me sitting in the half seat, legs either side of the gear stick.

"What you did today, that's a good thing. You tried to consider what people need, how they feel. You should, but you were missing one important thing—our input. I'm assuming you've never been with a bloke that’s in a relationship with another bloke?"

"No, it's just been a fun thing the guys have done."

"Well, let me tell you this. I don't need you to look out for my relationship, my emotional safety.

I've been with Jack a bloody long time. I know how to manage my man.

" He twisted in his seat, reaching over and putting a finger under my chin.

"What I need is the girl who was running along the perimeter of the paddock.

What would she have done then, if she knew what she does now? "

"Dragged you into my house and licked every inch of you."

The words were out of my mouth without even thinking. How did they keep fucking doing that? One word, and out came my id, spilling all my dirty little sex secrets.

His teeth were bright white against the black of his beard.

"That's it, that's what I need. We're gonna get to know each other, Jules, if I have a say about it. And I especially want to know the girl in the paddock."

He leant over further, brushing his lips against mine before looking at me for confirmation.

"Always asking for permission," I said with a smile. There was something sweet and gentlemanly about it.

"Up until the point you say I don't need to. Just make sure you mean it if you say you don't, because I've had a whole lot of time to think about what I want to do to you. Last night only added to the roster."

He didn't let me reply then, pressing his mouth to mine in a hungry kiss.

My lips trailed after his when he finally pulled away, something that made him laugh.

Then he put the car into gear, his hands sliding high between my legs, drawing my attention to right where I throbbed.

I was left with that uncomfortably acute awareness on the drive all the way to the work site.