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The first thing I did when I returned to the back yard was grab a beer, the second was take Slade’s hand.

I sought the reassuring pulse that came down our connection like a child with their favourite toy.

He looked up from the conversation he was caught up in and smiled.

His nostrils flared for a moment, and then his eyes darted over my shoulder to where Finn went to pay his respects to the matriarchs. His smile turned sly.

“Soothing our boy, were you?” he whispered into my ear. “You hot little minx.”

I pulled away slightly, as his mouth created a delicious buzz down my spine, and I’d reached and surpassed my public sex quota for the day. “How about we piss all these people off, and I show you how hot I am?”

He just stared back, smiling that damn crooked smile of his. “You know how much I want that.”

“But...? There’s a but coming, isn’t there? And not in the way it was this morning.”

“Goddamnit, Jules, don’t remind me of that. Walking around with a raging boner I can’t satisfy will crack the Nanas up.”

“They can tell?” I said, aghast.

“Those old bitches know everything. If you decided you were into pony play and stuck a horsehair buttplug up my arse and rode me about the room, one of them would be neighing at me before the day ended.”

I shook my head, trying to process that very vivid, if unconventional, image.

“But this is your introduction to Sanctuary, your real one. You’re becoming part of a community. You’ll be living and working beside these people, making decisions about our future.”

“OK, you convinced me,” I said, leaning into his embrace. I felt so damn tired.

“And anyway, think what it’ll be like tonight, when I peel this bloody confection my mother selected, off your lush body.”

“Stop,” I said, pulling away, but his arm yanked me back beside him. “I wondered how the hell I was going to keep up with you guys sexually, but it feels like my sex drive has multiplied for each new partner. Walking around with five times the lady boner isn’t as comfortable as you’d think.”

“Five? Or is it six now?”

He nodded over to a corner of the yard where Jack, Hawk, and Shaun stood with a bunch of other single men. “Do you mean Jack or Hawk?”

“I dunno, what do you think?”

“Brandon told me to be honest with you.”

“Yeah, so what do you honestly think?”

“I don’t know about those two. Jack and Hawk, there’s obviously a thing going on there, and I’m not sure why they want to put me in the middle of it.”

“A smart observation, but he’s just given you a person. There’s no real precedent to this, but if I had to guess, Hawk will be living in the house with us. He belongs to you. What I’m asking is what you’re going to do with him?”

“What do you want me to do with him? That one word he spoke today is the most I’ve heard from him, ever.

I have no idea who he is. He’s a complete stranger.

” Slade just watched me, taking a swig from his beer.

“I don’t know what to do with him. No one's ever given me a person before.” He nodded.

“What do you want me to say, Slade? Do you want me to fuck him? Want him to be the one who comes in me first, so you can after, like you said about Aaron?” He shrugged noncommittally.

My teeth ground together, my fingers gripping the neck of my bottle hard. “Look, there was this moment?—”

“And there it is,” Slade said with a smirk.

I scowled at him. “Do you want me to tell you, or not?”

“Of course, princess. I got something down the bond, but I couldn’t tell what. Jack, that’s pretty straightforward. Outsider girls love an arsehole, but Hawk...” We both turned to look at the man in question.

“I saw him when I was out running, on my first day. I ran past the creek down the bottom of the hill and saw him working in the afternoon sun. Everything looked golden, you know the way it does late in the afternoon. He was standing there, no shirt on, all those muscles on display, but with no idea I was looking. And then he saw me. I felt the most intense need to run, so I took off up the hill. He wasn’t going to chase me, I knew that, it was just some weird feeling, but. ..”

“But...?”

“When I turned around, he was halfway across the field, looking like he was about to climb over the fence after me.”

Slade smirked at that. “He probably was, catching scent of a receptive female. All right, now I know what we’re working with, I can accommodate that.”

“Working with what? Accommodate what? Slade, this is your night. If what people tell me is true, then it's the most important night of your life, apart from maybe the birth of your kids. Isn’t it bad enough that I blew Brandon in the storeroom and Finn just got me off in the lounge room?”

“That right?” His eyebrow jerked up. “Well, you have had a busy day. So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is in my world, a woman looking at another guy on her wedding day is reasonable grounds for stoning, let alone discussing adding yet another dude to her bedroom roster. I get that you guys have this whole polygamist thing going here, but even in that situation, shouldn’t today be about you?

I didn’t even stick around to meet your parents.

” I felt my Tirian rise up inside me, my eyes tightening.

“I’m a fucking shitty partner, Slade. You made this huge leap with me, and I’ve been off with everyone else but you. ”

“Jules...” He reached out to touch my face, but I shook him off. I couldn’t let the lovely sucking warmth of our bond reassure me into thinking this was right.

“I do love you, Slade. You’re funny and sarcastic, and you push my buttons like no one’s business.

I want to clean your clock every damn time you call me princess.

Do I look like a fucking princess to you?

” He opened his mouth, about to reply, but I charged on.

“In my world, when you love someone, you know when the other person’s needs are just as important or more than your own.

You were so bloody happy when I bonded you and I.

..” I swallowed, the words growing bigger, harder in my throat, so I had to force them out.

“I bailed. I want better for you than me. I want someone who can take care of you, put you first, love you, be honoured to meet your family, be at your side to welcome the guests to celebrate the most important day of your life. Someone who can put you first, because I’ve got no idea what I’m doing.

I’m a fucking mess, getting led around by my clit and then wondering how the fuck I ended up here. ”

For a second, I endured the agony of looking into the eyes of someone I loved and waiting for the axe to fall. What else could I do? I’d behaved badly. I deserved anything that came my way.

To say what came next was unexpected was an understatement. He wrenched me close, burying his nose in my hair. I could feel the shake of his arms as they wrapped around me.

“And that’s how I know it’ll always be you for me, love.

You could perch there, like a true princess, taking everything we give you as your due and using us until there’s nothing left, but you don’t.

Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that again.

I don’t need perfect, Jules, I just need you.

Let’s face it, we all know I’m a bit of a cunt.

Never keep my mouth shut when I should.” A burst of laughter fought its way out.

“I gob off left and right, but still, you want me around.” He pulled back slightly, smoothing my hair from my face.

“Better than that, you seem to value at least some of what I say, and that which you don’t, well you listen because it gives you access to my mighty, mighty cock. ”

I snorted, then sniffled, in that weird place between hysterical laughter and tears.

“It’s OK, sweetheart, no need to cry. I’ll give it to you good after all these nice people go home.”

“Fuck you,” I said, pounding on his shoulder “I’m trying to be noble, here.”

“Noble’s boring, I much prefer you naked and in that very interesting position we had you in the other day...”

“Fuck,” I cried, resting my head on his chest. "I take it all back, every single word.”

“Will you at least listen to me before making major life decisions?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Will you listen to me if I bring any of my concerns to you?”

“Sure, but?—”

“Will you make time for me, sometimes just the two of us, if I need it?”

“Of course, Slade. You just have to say.”

“Will you get me a beer from the fridge, if I ask?”

“Well...”

“Rub my fevered brow when I get back from work?”

“Um...”

His grin was bright and pure, “Then that’s it. It’s you and me, and whoever else you choose to add to this ragtag band of misfits.”

“Well, I think that concludes the official bonding ceremony.”

I swivelled around to see most of the party was standing around, looking on all misty-eyed, and Ophelia was smiling down on both of us.

She turned to Kelly. “The official ceremony is redundant at this point, don’t you agree?

” Her daughter nodded stiffly, scanning the crowd as if to gauge people’s responses to that.

She wouldn’t have gotten much, everyone surged forward and surrounded us.

Suddenly, we were at the centre of a massive crowd of well-wishers.

“Lovely ceremony, guys, damn near brought a tear to my eye.”

“This one’s a keeper, Slade. Just watch that mouth doesn’t run away with you.”

“Beautiful, love. You hold that man tight for me, you hear?”

Cheryl and Lisa fought their way through the throng to appear by our sides with several men in tow.

“I’m so sorry, love, for bursting in on you like that,” Cheryl said. “You must have thought me a madwoman. Of course, you’re having doubts, being an outsider and all, but it’ll all work out. You should hear some of the stories about me and Slade’s dads.”