Page 205
Their reactions are theirs. Don’t mind read.
Don’t spend all your energy being a detective.
That’s not your responsibility and all part of the abuse—making you feel like things that are entirely the abuser’s decision are somehow your responsibility.
You want to be considerate, that’s good.
Do so by asking, touching base, checking in.
I swallowed as I formed my words in my head, feeling the need to say them but finding it difficult to get them out. This felt so clunky and weird, but I forced my spine straight, looked Peter in the eye, and said, “Where do you like to be touched?”
He surged forward, causing me to shrink back, but I caught myself before I ran. He took my hand, pulling me closer and closer, until I hung over him. He placed my palm over his heart, held in place by his, and said, “Here. I like it here.”
Did that…? Was he…? I shook my head, trying to stop that train of thought.
Stay in the moment, Flick . So I settled down beside him, replacing my hand with my head, resting it on his breastbone.
I felt the tension leach out of him at that, as his arm went around me.
I reached out, slowly and tentatively with my free hand, and placed it on his stomach, feeling the flesh jump at my touch.
I glanced up at him, checking to see if he was OK, and was rewarded by a long, hot look.
One that only intensified as my hand began to roam, but I watched him, not it.
I saw the moment his eyes darkened, when his lips fell open, when a long shaking exhale hissed out.
I felt the low rumble of pleasure vibrate all the way through my body as my hands moved.
“Fuck, that’s hot.”
I turned to see Aidan watching my every move, which led to me rolling towards him.
I’d had a drunken threesome with a couple of guys back at uni, but this was a whole other deal.
I felt that same old tension in my chest. How was I going to meet both their needs?
When I was with one, I had to ignore the other.
There was always going to be someone left out.
“Hey,” Aidan said. “Stop worrying.” He pulled me so I lay flat on the bed and both rolled towards me. It was both unnerving and reassuring all at once. They were like walls of muscle around me, ready to protect me from everything and anyone.
“We want you to be happy, Flick,” Peter said. “You took a big step today, but I think we should stop things now. Let's just have this.”
“Close your eyes,” Aidan said, watching me fight the suggestion before I gave in.
Something snarly inside me just got wound up tighter as I did so, but then I felt them.
It was both nonsexual and yet completely sensual.
Together, they swept their hands up the outsides of my legs, nowhere near the sensitive inner thigh, even though with every pass, I wanted it more.
Not when my thighs separated, falling limp and slack under their touch, much to Aidan’s amusement.
Not when I felt myself grow slick. They just stroked me and stroked me, soothing my unruly nervous system, quietening my body and then my mind, until I fell asleep.
It was one of the worst night’s sleeps I’d had since coming to Sanctuary, but when I woke up at some ridiculous hour, I couldn’t bring myself to care.
I slept half naked, tangled in my men—because that’s what they were, I realised, for now at least. It might not work out, we might not be compatible as a…
throuple? But I knew now I had the time to work that out.
I woke up a million times due to the entirely decadent feel of their hard bodies intertwined with mine, their unconscious shifts towards me, pulling me into their arms and burying their heads in my hair, as if breathing me in made them sleep better.
Aidan groaned into my shoulder, shoving his groin into me so I could feel every inch of his considerable length before waking up.
“So, it wasn’t a dream?” he asked in a groggy voice.
“If it was, I still want to be asleep,” I replied.
He moved so he could look over my shoulder at me, studied my face, then smiled.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Peter replied for me. “Morning,” he said before leaning over and kissing me.
I’d meant to protest about morning breath or something, but that all faded away quickly. There was no hunger in this kiss for once. Instead, it was a leisurely sweet thing.
“If this isn’t a dream, can this happen on a regular basis?” Aidan asked as he pulled me back against him, making sure I knew just how keen he was on that idea.
“Aidan, don’t pressure her,” Peter said.
“Why?” I asked with a smile. I leant back to offer my mouth to Aidan. “Maybe I want you guys drowning me in kisses throughout the day.”
“Yeah?” He gave me at least one. “You’d be OK with that, us touching you when Kade’s around?”
“In the same way that mums and dads usually do? Well, yeah. I think it’d be good for him to see what healthy relationships look like. You guys have been great with checking in with me, making sure I’m still comfortable, and I have to keep practising putting up boundaries.”
“Yeah?” Peter’s voice was husky when he slung a leg over, then rolled until he hung above me.
“It’s OK,” Aidan said, rubbing my shoulder as he somehow sensed my pulse had gone from a steady thud to an out and out gallop.
My eyes went wide, my breathing rapid, because Peter wasn’t a gentle giant anymore.
He blocked out the light, covering me with the shadow of his body, his smile just a slice of light in a dark visage. “You’re OK.”
And I was. I felt the fear, since he looked somewhat sinister above me, but perhaps because part of my brain reassured me it was Peter and I didn’t have anything to fear, it created an exciting little sizzle of anticipation. Something that only increased as he dropped his head down.
“You are OK, aren’t you…” came Aidan’s low purr. His hand slipped under the shirt, cupping my breast as his thumb brushed my nipple, making me gasp against Peter’s lips when they connected with mine, so that he swallowed the sound and then added to it with his own in the form of a throaty moan.
“Muuum!”
We jerked apart, eyes going to the open door, then one guy after the other rolled away from me, the blankets up as Peter leapt out of bed. He had his shorts off and his sweats on in seconds, which was impressive.
“Hey, champ,” he said to Kade when he walked in. “You slept in your own bed last night? Good work.”
Kade looked up at him for a moment, then nodded.
“Mum, I’m hungry.”
“Well, how do you feel about going down to the mess? We can catch up with the other kids and you can have?—”
Peter didn’t get to finish the sentence as my son completely transformed.
“Can we? Alright! I’ll go and have a shower and brush my teeth right now!”
“Wow,” I said, wriggling out from under the covers, a process Aidan seemed completely focussed on thwarting. I gave his shoulder a shove and then clambered out. “I need to start setting up play dates or something. He’s never that easy to get ready.”
“He’ll be starting at school soon. He hasn’t had many kids to play with so…” Aidan said. “Hey,” he looked at my downcast eyes, “you weren’t ready, and neither was he, really. We can start eating down at the mess, and I’ll tell them we don’t need food delivered anymore. It’ll be fine.”
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