Page 46

“Hi, Jules.”

I stepped out into the living area, still damp from the shower, unable to look away from the screen door where Brandon’s mum and some other strange woman stood. The guys were all seated around the dining table or busy at the bench, brewing something up.

“It’s OK, Jules,” Brandon said, but I flinched when he put a hand on my shoulder.

I bit back a warning growl. This man had done much to ease the ache of my heat and showed promise in his domination of the bigger Aaron, who had entered the kitchen, rubbing his hair with a towel.

“They don’t have to come in if you don’t want them to.

They just want to talk. They’ll stay outside if it makes you more comfortable. ”

I looked around the room, everyone looking at me, but not meeting my eyes. Finn and Slade were preparing tea, Finn carrying all the implements in on a tray once the kettle boiled and the hot water was poured. “Jules?”

“You can come in,” I said finally, moving to take my place at the head of the table. I watched my men shuffle down, each making sure to leave at least a chair between them and the interlopers. The distance eased something inside me, even though it placed them farther away from me.

“Here, love,” Slade said, coming and placing a cup full of steaming tea before me. He paused by my side as I breathed in the aroma. English breakfast with a splash of milk, my favourite. The two women didn’t move to pour themselves a drink until I’d taken my first sip.

“So,” Janice said, her name coming back to me now, “this is Carissa. She was the friend I mentioned beforehand.” I looked over at the petite blonde woman who didn’t meet my gaze.

“She came from the outside as well. There’s always talk when a new female starts putting her pack together, but she reminded me just how jarring this process can be for someone who’s not from here.

That’s why we came by.” She smiled, a fragile thing.

“Right when you don’t want any visitors, to see how you are finding the transition. ”

“It’s strange.” The words were out of my mouth before I could even think.

“Right now, I feel kind of embarrassed by your question, because I’m thinking of what I’ve just been doing with your son and Aaron.

That’s my human side. It wants to ingratiate myself, get in your good books.

You are my potential partner’s mother. By human traditions, I should try to earn your respect.

Your disapproval of me could make or break my relationship. ”

“And your Tirian side?” the newcomer, Carissa asked.

“Wants to drive you all as far away as possible from my men, from all my partners.”

My teeth were bared as the words came out, the sounds beginning to be distorted by the growl that rose unbidden. What Carissa did next, shocked me.

“I understand,” she said, and placed her hand over mine.

For a moment, I fought the urge to slash out at her, to let the nails of my fingers transform into claws, to punish her hard for daring to lay hands on me.

She didn’t look scared. Janice did, I could smell the acrid, enticing scent of the spike of fear as she watched my muscles tremble with the effort of stopping myself from lashing out.

Carissa just smiled, the peaceful gentle smile of a saint and waited.

“It’s OK, what you’re feeling. It’s what we all felt when we created our packs.

Girls who grow up here like Janice, they’ve been collecting little harems of friends since preschool, where we would play with dolls, having the princess wait to be rescued by the prince.

One of the many differences between humans and animals is the amount of the brain hard-wired with instinct.

Yours has shifted from the malleable pure human one, to one that’s all of a sudden dominated by strong instincts that probably seem completely alien to you. ”

My eyes bored into the table-top as I listened. She paused, waiting for a response, and all I could do was nod.

“You have desires you’ve never had before.

Impulses you’d never even consider are now second nature.

You’re having to develop self-control in new ways.

All of the little parts of your identity that you had painstakingly created over your twenty odd years of life have been thrown into disarray.

You don’t know who you are some days...” My fingers closed tighter around the strange woman’s, encouraging.

I needed her to keep telling this story.

“We expect to go through the heat. We school our sons and daughters, teach them how to get through it without hurting other people,” Janice said, “But Carissa made me see outsiders don’t get any of that.

Kelly’s damn rules about newcomers prevent us from helping you with that adjustment before it happens. ”

“Why is that?” I growled.

“Because not all of you will. We had some outsider girls come, get built up, expecting to turn, expecting to take a harem, and then...”

“And then they didn’t. It’s why Doc takes those iris photos, right? To see who’s most likely to turn,” I said.

Janice nodded.

“Our ways are different. What’s best for the family trumps what’s best for the individual. We had girls turn and run when the moon came and went, and nothing happened. There was even one who returned, letting humans into the Sanctuary. They brought weapons.”

I watched Janice’s fingers worry at a cloth napkin.

“People died, kids died. That’s when things changed.”

“So now, we come and try to help once the change has happened, try to assist you to make the mental as well as physical transition. This is hard, Jules, but you’re not alone.”

I looked down the table and saw every eye trained on me.

Every one broadcasted what their owners felt, concern, worry, empathy.

My Tirian snarled at this, she didn’t like any sign of weakness being shared with the group, but I had little choice.

I was stunned to find tears burning in my eye sockets.

What on earth did I have to cry about? I was an all-powerful supernatural creature, had legions of hot guys throwing themselves at me.

It appeared any and all sexual fantasies I’d had in my life could be explored.

I was safe, had a home, food, a job. Me and Buddy would be OK.

Buddy.

My eyes jerked up, belatedly searching the room, the yard outside for signs of the Husky.

“Guys, where’s my dog?”

The first thing I saw on the guy’s faces was wariness. My guts turned to ice as I scanned them. “Buddy?”

“He’s with the doc, Jules,” Finn said.

“Why? He’s my dog.” I felt my hackles began to rise, my voice deepening. “Why isn’t he here!”

“We thought it better that?—”

“You’re a risk to the dog right now, and we know you’d hate yourself if you hurt him,” Slade said.

“Hurt him? He’s mine! He should be here!”

His eyes dropped down to where my nails, no, my claws dug into the table. Splinters had exploded around the puncture marks.

“You’re not stable yet, Jules. Of course, you aren’t. We didn’t want to bring your dog here until the change has settled and the heat is finished. You’ve gone through such a massive transition. The fucking bastard from the other side hurting you...”

I sat back down, focussing on just breathing for a moment.

Buddy. The minute I’d said his name, it was as if a whole part of my brain had been unlocked, a rush of memories and feelings hitting me.

The velvety-soft surface of his ears, his woo woo greeting whenever I got home, the little dance he performed when I was putting out his food, the leap up onto the bed and circling, always three times, before settling down in a tight ball.

I rubbed at my sternum, feeling the ache now.

But they had a point. I glanced down the table and saw a big group of strong paranormal creatures all on tenterhooks, waiting to see how I’d react. I took a long shuddering breath and then settled back against my chair.

“What happened to it. Him. It’s a him, isn’t it?”

“The fuckhead that came through to take you?” Slade said. “He--”

“All unfriendlies are locked up in a secure facility. It’s an underground, fully reinforced concrete bunker. It has several lock fail-safes, is patrolled by a platoon of our best men, each one of them armed with high powered rifles,” Aaron said. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“I’m not worried. I want to see him.”

Well, that put the cat amongst the pigeons. Everyone started talking at once, everyone but Carissa. She just squeezed my hand.

“She can do what she wants,” Carissa said with a snarl that cut through the cacophony.

“If she wants to see this man, you’ll show her, Aaron, son of Maureen.

” She turned back to me. “That’s what I wanted to tell you.

We aren’t taught to trust ourselves in the outside world.

You grow up questioning your clothes, the way you look, how loud you are, and how much of your real self you’re ‘allowed’ to show.

You question if it’s OK to come across as smart or struggling, who you’re with, what message you’re ‘putting out’ when talking to men.

There are huge industries all constructed around women’s doubt. Don’t doubt yourself here.”

“It’s probably a bit soon for it, but we believe the Great Wolf’s hand is behind our instincts,” Janice said.

“The men, their first instinct is to protect you. That’s how it should be, but don’t let it stop you from doing what you need to.

Whenever you are wondering what to do, remember, your instincts are there for a reason. ”

We had a nice meal afterwards. The guys had evidently been working on it while I was in the bedroom, getting laid.

I knew, in theory, there were human women that allowed men to treat them like queens, but I’d never met any.

I felt restless as the dishes were brought to the table, like I should be up and doing something.

It took me a little to see the pride on the men’s faces as they organised the impressive spread of food, but then everyone was seated and turned to look at me.

Um... did they say grace or something here?

I pulled the closest dish towards me, and said, “This looks amazing. Thanks, guys! Let’s eat. ”

And with that, the silence was broken. First, it was the sound of utensils scraping, of dishes being requested and passed, then the small talk returned.

I watched these beautiful men and women have a meal, just like families did across the country, and shook my head.

A month ago, I’d been serving dickheads in a diner, and now this.

Don’t doubt yourself , echoed in my mind as I dug in.