Page 186
“Yup, there’s room for more trees if we have more, not too many more. I dunno if I can go through this again.”
“I know. Mum said women have babies every day and nothing happens.”
“But Jules…”
“Yeah, but Jules.”
The woman herself arrived not long afterwards.
Somewhere inside myself I knew she’d get it.
She’s seen the last one we’d built, made me see the pack for what it was, but still, my heart beat like a snared rabbit’s.
I watched her face and her eyes like a starving man, wanting every little reaction I could get, not satisfied until I saw her hand go to her lips, her other tightening around Finn’s.
It wasn’t until I saw her eyes starting to shine, then tears spilling in the next moment, that it really sank in.
I loved her, wanted our kid to come out healthy and hold her in my arms like I wanted my next breath.
But sitting around the house, with the pack, with not a lot to do, was a recipe for disaster, and I hoped she’d see that.
I had to do something, anything, to show her that—my love and the struggle.
“It’s—” she said.
“I know.”
“You made?—”
“Yep.”
“One for?—”
“Each one of us and the little one.”
Her body slammed into mine, her arms wrapping around my neck, and while I was slow to put mine around her, something settled deep inside me.
I felt like a man in a desert and she was a cool drink of water.
I drank down her touch, her smell, the weight of her body against mine, the hard lump of our child inside her, never wanting this to end and knowing it had to.
“Are you going to let me get a word in edgewise? I can’t believe this is where you’ve been. I thought…”
“I know, love. I just couldn’t do anything else. I didn’t want you to feel like I was pulling away, but Jules?—”
“No, you shush this time.” She wiped at her tears when she pulled back. Her brows creasing and smoothing as she stared at me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I sighed, eyes dropping to the ground. This was always the thing with the people that loved me. Why did I have to be the way I was?
I shrugged. “Because it’s who I am. I’m not easy.
You’ve got plenty of mates for that, but just because I’m a prick, doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
Waiting around the house would have driven me bloody mad, but I knew you were well looked after.
So I came out here and built this. I felt like I had to. Just like this needs to happen.”
I pulled my hair away from the unscarred side of my neck, my head dropping down, and then went down on my knees before her.
I’d done nothing to make her think this was a good idea, hadn’t mentioned it when she had neglected to bite me, and was kinda glad it’d only been a one-way thing at the time.
I’d needed to adjust, to let my head accept what had happened without feeling the need to tear everyone apart.
But that was done now, had been done since she announced she was pregnant.
I forced my hand to be still as I kept my skin, my neck bared to her, hoping that she got it, that I was surrendering everything I had.
I wouldn’t be able to push anyone away, go off and build weird fucking symbols of our relationship.
The baby was coming, and we’d all need to put our shit to one side and devote ourselves to her.
“Jack.”
Her voice was gentle, her hand covering mine.
Here it comes, I thought, the big brush off. Not now, Jack. Not a good time, Jack.
“I’d be honoured.”
Her words washed over me like ice water, leaving me shivering in response. I dared a quick glance up, and she was smiling down on me, a goddess incarnate.
“I’m just not sure I can lean down that far.”
“Oh, shit, of course.” I scrambled to my feet. “But I’m too tall like this.”
“Here you go,” Slade said, dropping my toolbox down on the ground. “Kneel down on that. It should do the trick.”
So that’s how it happened, with the metal of the box biting into my knees. My mate stepped up, her belly pressed against my chest, her hands on my head, Hawk taking one of my hands and someone else taking the other. I felt it as everyone joined up, their consciousnesses popping into my mind.
“This’ll hurt,” she said, lifting my chin and staring into my eyes.
“It already does, love,” I said, an echo of my Hawk’s words. “The hurt of being apart has outweighed the ache of being together.”
“So, we’re doing this the hard way? Why am I not surprised?”
But she kissed my neck, and the venom burned its path along the skin, making me groan. We’d all been abstaining for so long, the feel of her lips was hopelessly erotic, my cock rigid at even this slight caress. Her fingers dug into my shoulders, her teeth fastening around a chunk of my skin.
You’re mine now , she said, mind to mind, and then she bit me.
It felt like that glorious moment, right before you come, where you feel like you’re hanging on the precipice of something, ready to jump off, but for just that second, you’re caught in a moment of bliss.
I saw our Tirians in my mind’s eye, white wolves in a green landscape now, waiting for us to acknowledge them, then moving in close to shove their muzzles into each other’s fur when we did.
But it was the flicker of something else, white but indistinct, that caught my eye as I breathed Jules’ Tirian scent in, and it was only when it stopped that I made it out.
She was a Tirian too, almost, made from shadow and wisps of wind rather than an actual wolf.
I could see the trees beyond her through her coat, but her eyes gleamed like emerald.
Daughter? I asked.
Coming , she replied.
“Jules?”
I was jerked back to reality, getting up off the toolbox to see Jules looking down aghast. Her dress was soaked down the front, fluid dripping from between her legs.
“I think my water broke.”
“We’ve got to get her to the house,” Aaron said. “Now.”
“No time,” I said.
“The matriarchs are already here,” Finn said. “They knew.”
“Not just them,” Brandon said as he jerked his chin at the tree line.
Matriarchs walked or hobbled closer, their humming song getting louder as they came, but other women drew closer as well.
Women from Leifgart, Arelia and Jeananne, even little Kiralee, they all hummed this secret song that all of them seemed to know. Then Finn joined in.
The pack’s eyes jerked to him, hearing the masculine counterpoint, then Brandon joined in and faltered before picking up the simple melody.
He squeezed Aaron’s hand, the big man taking up the tune as well, turning to Hawk.
It ended up with each one of them humming the bloody song like this was some kind of choir performance or something, but I ignored it.
I slipped free of the circle, grabbing the thick bedroll and laying it down within the bower.
What else had this been for, I now realised, but a shelter for our love to grow and for our daughter to be born?
I pulled off my shirt and then went to whip off her sodden dress.
“Jack!” She glanced around at the audience.
“This is long enough to cover most of you,” I said, holding out my shirt. “And a lot less cumbersome. They’ve all seen naked women before, even if just in the mirror.”
Her hands went around mine.
“I’m scared.”
“I know, love. So the fuck am I. Now let’s get this off.
” I stripped her down, quick as a child, dispatching her bra and knickers with quick efficiency, and then pulled my shirt over her head.
Having her wear something that smelled of me somehow helped me think more clearly.
“OK, lie down, and let’s take a quick look at you. ”
“Ahh!”
I gritted my teeth as her hands went to her belly, and when I touched her, the taut surface felt like it rippled from within.
We were in for a long haul, from what I remembered Mum and Nan saying, but first things first. I let her squeeze the life out of my fingers as I got her comfortable, then flipped the shirt back and took a look between her legs.
Shit.
I knew in theory how this worked, that the baby’s head worked its way out of a place that never had anything much bigger than a cucumber before, that the stretching of her cervix was the particularly painful bit, but right now, I just saw my love’s genitals.
What the hell was I looking for? How did I help?
“What on earth are you doing, Jack, son of Kelly?”
Old Annie stood before me, her car sitting right next to mine, obviously having pulled up while I was distracted. She dropped her bag to the ground and waved me aside, settling down where I was, and then inspected Jules.
“This is going to be fast,” she said to me.
“Good!” I snapped as Jules writhed on the bedroll.
“Fast hurts a lot more.”
“Fuck! How do we slow it down then?”
“Babies aren’t cars you can put the brakes on,” she said with a soft smile. “They come when they come. You have half the town here, giving her energy to get her through this. But, Jack?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re going to need to help her. Give her your body and your strength, let her lean on you, take her pain out on you.”
Of course, I did. I’d been a whipping boy most of my life, it was what I was good for, after all. I just nodded in response.
“Put her head on your lap for now, though lying down is not a great place for giving birth to a child in my mind. When I tell you, help her into a squatting position.”
I did as she said, trying to move Jules so, so gently, but Annie just snapped at me to stop stuffing around and get it done.
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