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I pocketed my crystal and came to sit by my pack, who were loosely circled around the Volken seer.

“How the hell did we end up in the cage?” Aaron said.

“Mead was drugged,” I replied. “Lemme guess, you guys passed out before the main event?”

“Main event?” Hawk asked.

“The woman with the wolf skull? She was supposed to ‘slake the lusts’ of the warriors. I thought she’d gotten away, but… Then Sylvan came for me.”

Everyone’s eyes swivelled around to where the seer sat nursing his head.

“What?” he said. “It’s what happens every Longest Night. If you’d bloody told me you were a conduit for Branwen, I could have made sure I was as far away as possible from you. Don’t worry, you’ll get your chance to chase me down if we’re here for Shortest Night.”

“No, I fucking won’t,” I replied. “I’d rather eat dirt.”

“Shouldn’t you have known, seer?” Slade said.

“About this? I saw your pack opening the gate and getting me to Branwen. I saw the White Wolf coming to Leifgart, but never in my wildest dreams had I thought that it’d be you bringing her here.

” He smiled at this, but it was one of the most desolate things I’d ever seen.

“This is not how it was supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to be you, it was supposed to be her. ”

I thought of the woman in his dreams, her eyes still gleaming bright green in my mind’s eye.

“Branwen, Lonan, they aren’t the names of the Great Wolves, no matter what those fucks back at the feast said.” I saw the moment the Great Wolves shimmered into human forms at the festival I’d seen in Wolflantis. “They’re like you, conduits to their power.”

He snorted at that, then jerked his head up to meet my gaze. “I guess you could make that comparison, but it's like comparing you to a monkey. There’s plenty of similarities, but the comparison strips away so much detail, it makes it essentially meaningless.”

“So, help us out.” My eyes darted to Brandon, the low menace in his tone so uncharacteristic, I could only stare. “Tell us what the differences are.”

“Lonan, Branwen, they held the spirits of the Great Wolves inside them for millennia, built the city of Eomis, brought an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity, and created a haven for learning and innovation. The place was a marvel.”

“Looked like a desolate shit hole last time we opened the portal,” Jack drawled.

Held the spirits inside them , I mused at that, thinking of my Tirian, how it was both a part and separate to me.

You aren’t a part of me, are you? I asked her.

Yes, no.

Which is it?

Both. You are our means of affecting reality, we are your means to transcend it.

And Lonan and Branwen?

They're a means to distort and control it.

“So, I’m thinking now would be about the right time to tell us why you’re looking to ride off into the post-apocalyptic wolf wasteland,” Slade said.

“That place is fucked up beyond all recognition. There’s no ‘city of peace and prosperity’ there now, not unless that’s some kind of code name for those fucking smoke wolves. ”

“It’s her, Branwen,” I said, putting it all together.

I’d seen her make the white Tirian from the women, saw her wound around Sylvan like a jewelled python in his dreams. I crawled towards him, something that provoked a growl from the guys, but I just took his chin in my hand and stared deep into those blue eyes.

He returned my gaze mulishly, but I wasn’t looking at him.

I looked past those bright blue eyes, searching until a shine of green covered his irises before fading away again.

“She’s in here,” I said, tapping his head.

“She wants you to come for her, in that place.” I squinted, looking at him closely, listening to the harsh whistle of his breath.

My hand slipped down, fingers digging into his throat, while his came up to cover mine and struggled to pull it away.

“That’s why you bit me, why you’ve been playing these fucking games. It’s her, all her.”

“Jules…” Aaron said as I felt a burn in the palm of my hand, that fucking hidden crystal of Sylvan’s appearing again and singeing my hand. Fine, I was fucking done with this, anyway. I threw Sylvan backwards, getting to my feet.

“You fucking bit me and forced a mating mark on me. I almost died! You fucked with my head, almost had me gang raped by all those guys. People lost their mate bonds! You came into my dreams, in between me and my pack, and for what? It’s fucking her, isn’t it?

You’ve upended everyone’s fucking lives for some woman.

Is that place, Eomis, or what’s left of it, is that where Branwen is?

” He just lay there, his hand covering the livid red marks my fingers had left. “Well, is it?”

“Jules…” someone growled, but I strode over to the seer, standing over him.

“Last chance, Sylvan. Did you do all this shit to save some woman you think is left in that place?”

My claws pushed out from under my skin, curving long and cruel as I approached him slowly.

“Yes!” he shouted as I flexed my fingers.

“All of it, every fucking bit was for her. She is everything to me. She held me through all the fucking shit that went down in that shithole,” he said, stabbing his finger at the track that led to Leifgart.

“I dove into her each time they got to me, and she held me as it went on. She picked up the broken pieces of me and put them back together. I am nothing without her. I would do all you accuse me of and more to free her.”

His voice was ragged with pain, and as it died away, he scrambled to his feet and strode off into the trees by the side of the track.

“We shouldn’t let him get too far,” Hawk said as he watched the man go. “We still need him for Leifgart.” He got up and followed Sylvan into the stand.

“So that’s what this is all about. Is there even an attack planned?” I half whispered to myself.

“Love…” Finn said, coming closer.

“We’ve been played the whole fucking time. All of it so he can get his fucking dick wet.”

“And will we walk away empty-handed?” Brandon said.

His eyes darted around the group before he reached out for me.

“I’ve got one vision left, something I haven’t shared because…

well, I’m not sure if this will come true.

It was just a fragment. I saw it often enough, but there was no link, no explanation of how we got there. I can share it with you, if you like.”

I wanted to say no. Visions and gods, ancient cities and rituals, I was sick of all this mystical bullshit. I wanted to live my life, not a fucking prophecy, but I saw Aaron’s arm go around him, saw finally what it cost Brandon to make this offer.

“OK,” I said.

“Hold hands,” he said, nodding to the rest of us. “Now take a deep breath in.”

“This isn’t one of those fucking yoga things—” Slade said.

“Do it.”

The command in Brandon’s voice had all of us taking a big breath in, and despite feeling much more in tune with Slade than Brandon right now, that same feeling of peace that comes from monitoring your breath washed over me, whether I wanted it or not.

“Close your eyes,” he said. “Then reach for it.”

‘What?’ I wanted to say, remembering the last time he’d said those words to me, but it took no effort now. It all came rushing in.

I was the sunlight, glancing, shifting, warming the earth, flowers raising their heads to catch my rays.

I was the breeze, tossing and turning leaves and seed heads on the wind, tumbling, skimming over the earth’s surface.

And I was a woman, wearing a long cotton dress that was pretty, despite the stains on the skirt.

It kept my skin cool in the evening sun as it poured over the two of us, my child snuggling in tighter into my side.

My child? I looked down into that wrinkled little face, saw the dark tufts of hair on its head as it unconsciously rooted around, looking for food. I unbuttoned the bodice with a practised ease I did not currently possess, cradling the child in my arms as it nestled down to feed.

This version of me gazed at the baby with an absent eye, but I stared down at him or her, taking in every damn detail.

My eyes stayed bone dry and half closed as we watched the baby suckle, but that’s not how I felt.

A child? I hadn’t even had a chance to think about that, but as I watched, it all rushed in.

If we survived this, we could have a family, a great tribe of kids running through the house, each one adored by their dads.

And me, being a mother? It felt like a hand wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed.

“You OK, Jules?”

I looked up to see Hawk had come to sit by my chair, his eyes on me for a moment to check in before being inexorably drawn down to our child.

“Where’s Jack?” I asked, not framing the words, future me having sorted that one out. I sounded weary, my voice all scratchy.

“Oh, y’know him…”

Hawk didn’t finish the sentence and neither did I, as apparently, we were both able to fill the gap. I looked out over the sunny field, watching the flowers sway as our child fed.

This is always what’s driven me forward , Brandon said. No gods, no magic, just this.

Our child , I said.

Our child , echoed the others.