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So if you ever happen to go into heat, let me tell you, having a bunch of ladies descend upon your sex nest was a way to stop your libido cold.

“Smells like half the single men have been out here, scent marking the place,” one of the women said.

Her green eyes met mine with a twinkle. “They’ve been paying you court.

” They slid back down, inspecting the area outside the house, stepping over the grass fastidiously.

“I am Rhoda, one of the matriarchs here.”

“We might need to start with what a matriarch is,” Ophelia said drily.

“I know what that means,” I said, instantly feeling that rush of shame and censure as I said the words. I’d never spoken to anyone about this outside of my family. “At least I think I do.” When I frowned, Shaun moved to my side, taking my hand, something that had Rhoda nodding approvingly.

“And what do you think you know?” Ophelia asked. That could have been confrontational, but instead, it was gently curious. “Shaun said you were already aware of what you are?”

“And you’re not surprised by that,” I replied.

“No.” She smiled, a small noise coming from Shaun, making it apparent he didn’t know that. “You didn’t have the same fear, being swamped by feelings you didn’t understand. You were right in the middle of an ocean of need, but you already knew how to swim.”

She stepped forward, a gentle, warm expression on her face, one I knew well. She held out her hands, just like Nan had when we performed the different rituals, the feel of Ophelia’s hands in mine enough to make me remember her all too painfully.

“This is how we connect to the goddess, love,” Nan told me, her eyes crinkling as she smiled. “She shines down on her daughters most of all, bathing us in her light, giving us the strength to do what is needed.”

“You are one of the lost ones,” Ophelia said, like somehow, that was a wondrous thing.

“Lost one?” I shook my head. “I knew nothing about this place. Didn’t know anyone that was like what we are. I’d never even heard of Sanctuary before now. Shaun drags me out here, and there’s hordes of men hanging around, panting like dogs. Lost what?”

“Lost Tirian,” Ophelia said, patting my hand, then leading us over to the dining table like it was her place, not Shaun’s. He put the kettle on, busying himself with the tea things. “There was a schism many, many years ago.”

“Where some of us were exiled,” I said, seeing my Tirian’s vision.

“You’ve seen this?” Rhoda asked, sitting down beside Ophelia.

“Just a…little.” My eyes slide sideways, finding Shaun’s automatically connecting with mine. He held them for a minute, hands frozen from where he was pulling the mugs out of the cupboard.

“And something else as well,” the older woman said with a smile. “Time to tell all of it, I think.”

The kettle whistled as Shaun brought everything for tea over to the table, including some sliced lemon. He set the tray down and then went back for the hot water.

“You too, son of Helen.”

Well, that didn’t sound ominous at all. He returned with a full teapot of boiling water.

“I’ve only got—” he started to say, reaching for the tin of tea.

“Your offer of tea is a gracious one, Shaun, but truth first,” Ophelia said, putting her hand over the top of her mug. “We have talked long and hard, you and I, especially after what happened between you and Jules.”

Um…what? Jules was the chick who’d blundered into the workshop, telling me I needed to come stay with her. What happened between the two of them?

“I know.”

His eyes dropped down to his mug, those long fingers that had managed to wring so many beautiful feelings out of me now traced the lip of the empty cup.

“You asked us to come, said there was information you needed to share.”

He nodded, then looked up, but not at them, at me. His gaze was so different now. Desire had been scrubbed away, and there was only pain and longing, something that was quickly smothered and packed away tight. It was with this that he faced down the table.

“My Tirian thinks Bec is our mate. Hers feels the same. They recognise each other somehow, and he…”

“He what, Shaun?” Rhoda asked sharply, my back going ramrod straight in response.

“He went to mark her as his. Not me.” His hands went up as if to hold off the incoming tide of disapproval, and by the looks on their faces, he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“I grabbed control of him, didn’t let it happen, but yeah…

” He picked up the container of tea, loaded the pot, and then poured drinks for everyone, leaving them to add milk or sugar, but when he set the teapot down, his fingers still moved restlessly. “It makes things complicated.”

“How complicated?” I asked, a rising sense of alarm. He sounded fatalistic, like a man before a firing squad. “How is this complicated?” I looked at all three people around the table, feeling the pregnant pause grow and grow.

“I can control him,” Shaun said again, but we all heard the shake in his voice, and when he looked up, that fragile mask he’d raised had shattered.

Eyes were the windows of the souls, so they said.

Well, we were staring into each other’s windows right now, unable to look away.

For me, it was the fact that no one had ever, ever looked at me like this.

I barely knew the guy, thought he smelled delicious and he fucked like a demon, so why the hell was he looking at me like I’d hung the bloody moon?

My brain rebelled, fighting that reality, sure there was another reason for this, not me, surely not me.

Why not you? Are you not worthy? my Tirian asked.

Her words made me bristle with the implied insult and forced the knife in my chest deeper.

I was fucking awesome. I was funny, a good friend, nice to animals and kids, and could suck a golf ball through a garden hose if I had a mind to, but for some reason, no one, not one person, had ever wanted to spend more than a few weeks by my side.

I’d rolled with that, done the best I could, but…

A feeling of icy cold washed from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Maybe that was about to change.

“She can’t stay here,” Rhoda said.

“What?” Shaun and I snapped.

“A man marking a woman against her will? Especially one with a history of indiscretion.” The look Rhoda shot Shaun wasn’t completely unkind, but there was a definite censure there.

“She should be moved to one of the honeymoon cottages. We could set her up with a viewing today, let her choose her partners without the undue influence of others. It’s been too long since the single men have had a chance to present themselves. It would be good for her and them.”

Her input came out as a definite statement, as if it was all a foregone conclusion.

“A viewing is when the single men put themselves forward as potential choices. You may select as many as you like to help you satisfy your heat, or you can take men as mates.” Suddenly, all I could see was Ethan’s hand sliding down that taut stomach.

“The process is usually a permanent one, so keep that in mind,” Ophelia said.

“A honeymoon suite is a little ironic name for some cabins we keep for unmated women who are going into heat. They’re away from the rest of the community, no children allowed close for obvious reasons, and they’re kept secure and away from the single men. Only those invited in may enter.”

Sweat began to prickle again on my skin as they brought my attention back to my current state, and wasn’t that an uncomfortable thing?

I fidgeted in my chair, feeling the same sense of needing to hide what I was going through that I always did, but when the ladies looked down the table at me, I saw calm and compassion.

They knew exactly what I was going through, having been through it themselves.

“I…” My throat closed on my words, so I took a sip of tea to try and loosen it. “I would like that, thank you.”

“Today,” Rhoda said, looking me over more closely. “Within the hour. Get her some clothes and then get her down to the viewing rooms. She’s very close to the edge. You’ve never had the opportunity to really let loose in a heat before?”

All I could do was shake my head, her tone fracturing my composure.

Heats were always lonely, desperate, shameful things, but to hear women describe the process and have all these things in place to help me through it?

They didn’t and couldn’t understand what that meant, but as I just stared, I saw them trying to.

Then Rhoda reached out, taking my hand in hers, the bones feeling fine and birdlike, her skin soft and crepey, but the strength as she squeezed it was undeniable.

“Enjoy, young one,” she said with a wry smile. “You are safe now. You will have a place in Sanctuary for as long as you need it, a place to be who you really are.”

I sat back in my chair, my hand pulling from hers, not because I wanted to break contact, but because it felt like everything was hitting me like a Mack truck. Where were all my defences right now? I took one long shuddering breath, then another.

“Then we’ll take you to the honeymoon suite now,” Ophelia said with a smile and a nod. “We had one prepared, just in case.”

“Bec,” Shaun said, a frown forming, “you don’t have to do this. I can control myself, I promise. I?—”

“Shaun.”

Ophelia said his name in a low but definite tone, and he instantly fell silent.

Then I was treated to a sight I had no wish to see again.

I saw hurt and pain and need flare hard, his eyes taking on a reddish tinge before he closed them and then seemed to focus on his breathing.

When he opened them again, they were reassuringly blue.

And focussed on me. “I’m sorry I dragged you here when you had things under control, but in some ways, I’m not. You can be safe here. We, whichever men you choose, will be honoured to help you through your heat. Especially if it’s your first one where…”

Shaun frowned a little, as if considering how I’d had to spend it before.

He didn’t know the half of it. The shit he and I had pulled before in front of the glass door, that’d have had me tarred, feathered, and driven out of town back in the places I used to live.

Small towns get tongues wagging pretty damn quick.

That and the small minds that tended to come with them meant everything was always so damn prescribed.

My fingers dug into the table, my breath coming in shorter and shorter pants as I considered exactly what she described—a cabin all of my own, away from every prying eye, a place I could do whatever the hell I wanted.

I frowned, then swiped the back of my hand across my top lip, the sweat there started to bead.

Because when I looked up, around the brightly lit, open plan living area to the grass beyond, I saw something else, something nothing or no one had ever prepared me for—freedom.

My brows tightened as a dizzying array of scenarios hit me, making my heat flare hotter and hotter until I felt like I was burning.

Which maybe helped this. They wanted to give me my freedom? Well, I was totally on board with that idea. The soft cotton of Shaun’s T-shirt rubbed against my nipples, taunting me with what was surely to come.

Me.

I stared down the table now, a reddish haze over everything I saw.

“Set this…viewing up. I’m…” Deep breaths, you can hold it together for a few more minutes. “I need to identify some willing players, stat.”

The women nodded, but Shaun, he flinched, this very small, imperceptible recoil that only my highly sensitised state detected, which made me wonder how often that went unseen.

“And Shaun, he’s my first choice.”

He blinked, just staring at me for a moment, then reached across the table, taking my hand in his, while the ladies twittered.

“Are you sure? Your inhibitions and his will be down,” Ophelia said.

“You’ll have more men than you can poke a stick at lining up to get to you,” Rhoda added, but I just squeezed his fingers.

“I know, and I want him.”

Fuck, that felt good, to just baldly say what I thought and felt and see an answering flare of heat in his face.

“Ophelia—” Rhoda protested, but the other woman held up a hand in response, focussing on me.

“Sometimes, women have a man by their side during a viewing, one they trust. It can help them feel more secure as they go through the choosing process. Do you want Shaun to take that role?”

I stared over at him, trying to see him standing by my side as I interviewed potential bed partners, but crazily enough, I could.

Hadn’t he done just that, revealing me to the crowd of men, ensuring my world was well and truly rocked?

My thighs rubbed together as I remembered exactly how that went.

His nostrils flared, the muscles in his forearms popping as he held himself in place.

“You can keep your fangs to yourself, right?” I asked him.

“For you? Anything. If I take a mate, I want their fangs in my neck, them choosing me. I want to know without a doubt that I’m their man, wholly and solely. I won’t bite you, Bec, not unless you beg me to.”

Well, then.

“I believe that resolves that matter,” Ophelia said, getting to her feet, Rhoda doing the same much more reluctantly.

The other woman’s eyes flicked between us, but she followed her out of Shaun’s place.

“I’ll have one of the married women bring some clothing for Bec.

Walking into a viewing smelling of you, Shaun, may inflame things.

The speed with which this is moving is fortuitous, but still.

” She looked back at me. “A cart will be brought around for you in an hour, and then you’ll attend the viewing.

You can just look at the men through glass windows if you like. ”

Oh, I liked.

“Or you can be more…hands-on in your interviews. Everyone in the room knows the drill, that it’s your choice and you can take back that offer at any point. As long as you respect their boundaries, feel free to follow what your mind and body dictates.”

Jesus fucking Christ, I was on fire, something the two ladies seemed to understand, leaving not long afterwards. Shaun took up position at my back, his hands on my breasts, teasing my nipples through his shirt.

“Freedom huh?” I asked shakily, need slamming into me harder than it ever had before.

“Freer than you’ve ever been.” His voice was a low husk in my ear as his hand slid into my shorts. “Now spread your legs and let me take the edge off.”

So I did. Of course I did. I wanted the feel of those long, sure fingers—which seemed to just know what I needed—like my next breath.