Page 196
It was all kind of a blur, my first view of Sanctuary, but I saw a lot of tree-lined streets, pretty houses with big backyards, some with kid's play equipment in it. We pulled up at a large white house with a broad veranda, and then everyone got out.
When we walked in, there was a guy setting up a TV and DVD player and a woman spreading sheets over the beds.
They smiled and were introduced to us, and I moved through the polite responses on automatic.
I couldn’t have even told you what they looked like five minutes afterwards, my eyes remaining trained on the slight wrinkles on the white sheets.
Kade looked happier when all of our gear was brought in.
With the resilience young kids seemed to have, he picked up his bag of toys and started to put them away on the shelves in the room he’d chosen.
“What’ve you got there, mate?” Aidan asked.
Well, that opened the floodgates. Kade took out his action figures one by one, explaining the various merits of each one.
“We’ll have to get your Mum to take you down to movie night in a couple of days. We’re playing A New Hope again.”
“Really! Can we, Mum?”
I looked blankly at the two of them, so Aidan explained, “It’s a family thing. We screen a kid-friendly movie open air, and everyone sits on the grass and has a picnic. I could take the two of you if you like?”
“We’ll have to see,” I replied, something that had Kade whingeing, but better that than getting his hopes up.
The cottage was nice. Airy and painted all in white, the big picture windows let light stream in, and beyond them, I could see there was a big fenced-in yard with a slide and jungle gym.
God, it was tempting to just hide out here, process what I needed, and then plan for my next step.
This is home , my Tirian insisted.
And if it isn’t? I can’t let Kade put down roots before we’re ready.
Where is better for the cub, but here? No violence, no threats, plenty of help.
We’ll see.
“The fridge has been stocked full of food, as I asked,” Ophelia said. “But most of us go to the mess to eat our meals. I’d like to see you there…” She caught the tensing of my body. “When you’re ready.”
The concept of meeting a whole lot of strangers while I looked like this was unappetising, to say the least.
“The married mess hall is down here,” Jules said, pulling out a piece of paper that had a map of the community printed on it. “You can go to the single one here” —that got a rumble from Peter and Aidan— “but I wouldn’t advise it with a kid in tow. They get a bit wild over there.”
They were really trying, and I could see that.
Jules was making everything clear and easy to understand, trying to make sure I understood what my options were, and abstractedly, I appreciated the effort, but it felt like it was all going in one ear and out the other.
I didn’t have any more space in my brain for additional information.
She seemed to sense that, straightening up and sending a meaningful look at Ophelia.
“You need rest. Anything else you need help with, just send out a call on the walkie talkie,” Ophelia said, jerking her head at the black device hanging on the wall. “I’ll be back tomorrow to see how you are doing. Remember, this is your house, your rules. Everyone is here under your sufferance.”
And then I was left, bruised, battered, and aching, with two strange men in my house.
“Mum! They’ve got the whole Star Wars series here. Even the new one!” Kade said, looking through the DVD collection.
“You’re not watching the new series. It’s too mature for you.”
“But Muuuum…”
“Mate, the new series is no good,” Aidan said, dropping down to his level. “The first series, that’s a classic. How about we put The Phantom Menace on while Mum has a rest? She’s still not feeling great. Are you hungry?”
I watched my son nod mulishly.
“I asked them to get some of that nice yoghurt with the fruit in it that you liked,” Aidan said. “Tell you what, you sit down, and I’ll getcha a drink and a tub, and we’ll watch all three, back to back.”
I watched Aidan go to the fridge and pull out the food, following behind him like some sort of ghost. Kade called out to him from the lounge room, talking about the movie they were about to watch. Aidan replied, perfectly naturally, like he’d been doing this for years.
He was taking over. This stranger was taking over looking after my kid.
“It’s OK, I’ve got this,” I said, intercepting him as he came out of the kitchen. “Thank you for helping while I was?—”
“Hey, it’s OK. Kade’s a great kid. He was pretty upset while you were out and I…” He shook his head and passed me the food. “I can go if you’d prefer.”
“C’mon, Aidan, let's watch the movie!” Kade called out.
Had he ever sounded like that with his father? His smile was so bright in comparison to the ring of bruises on his neck. The fact that he was smiling at all was a bloody miracle.
“No,” I said, awkwardly putting the yoghurt and spoon back in his hands. “I’m sorry I…”
Aidan’s hands closed over mine for a second longer than needed, the warm weight felt after he pulled away.
“Look, I’m probably horning in where I shouldn’t. I’m sorry. I just…” He shook his head, looking back at me and seeming to catalogue all my injuries in one long look. “I think you’ve had to handle too fucking much, just quietly, and I can’t help but want to take some of that burden.”
He jammed his spare hand in his pocket, his shoulders hunching.
“Maybe you kick puppies for fun or something, but, Flick, you got Kade out. You walked away from that prick, and brought him here so he can’t hurt either of you again. The doc couldn’t believe you drove here in that condition.”
He looked over to where Kade was setting up his action figures on the coffee table.
“He’s a good kid, but was bloody traumatised when you passed out.
Came barrelling out, standing over you, ready to fight us to the man to keep you safe.
” He shook his head slowly, staring at the floor.
“Tough little guy. You two, you’ve seen shit, had to put up with shit that no one should have to.
I guess this,” he hefted the yoghurt, “and a few movies makes me feel like I’m helping somehow.
I can’t erase what happened, but I can make him feel safe, that not all men are like his sperm donor. ”
Peter appeared at my shoulder. I felt his presence before he even got close, sapping the tension in my body, and a wave of something warm and comforting washed over me when his hand came to rest on my arm.
“Pete’s been looking after you, I’ve been seeing to Kade. You can take all of that over once you’re feeling better, but right now, just let us take the weight for a bit.”
Which was how I ended up being led into the master5bedroom, still in hospital scrubs, and laid down on the bed. Peter brought me my medication and a glass of water, which I nearly choked on when he pulled his shirt off.
All of the hard promise I’d sensed while leaning against his body was instantaneously revealed.
There was no softness in him anywhere, except for his eyes and his lips.
This was a powerful body, with muscles built for hard work or punishing blows, which was perhaps why I was surprised by what came next.
I realised I probably should have asked exactly what a mate was when he slid onto the bed beside me.
It was huge—he could have starfished beside me, and I still would’ve had a massive space to sleep on—but slowly, surely, he moved closer.
He tucked a pillow under his head, and then looked at me for a moment before reaching out and gently, carefully, knowing exactly which spots to avoid, pulling me closer.
This had been the closest I’d been next to another man for over a decade.
He just watched me blink, sucking in his woody scent, feeling the warmth radiating off his body now that I was pressed up against it.
The skin on the side of my arm that rested against his chest and abs burned at the contact.
He let a long breath out and placed a gentle hand on my stomach, one of the places I ached the most. Brown eyes watched me gasp at the wash of heat.
Despite the fact that he made no move to do anything else, there was something almost sexual in the intensity of relief he provided.
He noted the point when my lips fell open, when my breath came in quick pants as the heat spread further.
The sensation brought back a memory I’d pretty much forgotten, from well before Rick, when I was still at uni and I’d been with a guy who was as into me as I was him.
We’d spent endless days just hanging out in my room, sitting tangled up in each other’s arms, revelling in that animal sensuality that comes from being young, compatible, and in love.
We’d fucked like monkeys, but that was almost beside the point, the sex a lovely side effect of what we had been building together.
I glanced at Peter, searching those impenetrably calm eyes, wondering what the hell was going on with him that he was sending this down the bond we seemed to have.
But I didn’t get a chance to ask. He reached down, so slow I could have pulled away a million times, but I didn’t.
This shouldn’t have been happening, it was way too early to be touching anyone, but I arched slightly up into him, not knowing what was about to happen but wanting to.
His lips landed on my forehead, gentle as a feather, and an explosion of warmth came with it, washing away the persistent headache temporarily. My eyes closed as his hand went to my face and stroked down my cheek.
“Just rest, Flick. Sleep and heal.”
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