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His eyes jerked up at me, and I saw the shine there.

He was just some stranger, foisted on me for no doubt devious reasons by Jack.

But right now, I was stoned off my tits with love feelings and was willing to lavish them on anyone.

I sat down beside him on the grass, wishing right now I'd worn knickers, because grass and sand and pebbles in your butt aren't as fun as they sound.

"That freaked you out, right?" I said as I took his hand—it was a big, broad thing that dwarfed my own—and laced my fingers through his. "It's OK."

"Don't treat me like I'm some kinda kid," he said, trying to pull away, but I held fast. He tried a few times to get free, then sighed, all the tension leaching from his body. "I don't mind playing the whipping boy in there for kinks. Or licking boy, I guess. But I'm not a fucking child."

"Didn't say you were. And as licking boy, you did a damn fine job. But you don't have to do anything anyone tells you, not if you don't want to."

"Oh, I wanted to." Those dark eyes grew hot for a moment. "It's why Jack put me here, the fucking bastard. Can't leave anything alone."

"Hawk, if you want to go home, I'll grab the car keys and take you. Or we could call Jack?"

"That's not it, is it?" he said, flicking the cigarette out on the dew damp grass.

"With all his bloody machinations, he wouldn't have the faintest fucking idea what it would do to me to see you with Slade like that.

It was beautiful, Julie, just in case you're wondering.

The both of you lit up like fireworks, and you glowed.

I could see your Tirians running, joining.

" The words began to come out raw and scratchy.

"I love him with every fucking breath in my body.

I'd give him anything, thought I had given him everything by choosing to stay with him rather than chasing women like the matriarchs wanted.

They expect us to fuck sometimes, can't get around it with the heat.

But to form something permanent out of it?

Men fucking doesn't produce kids, and they're all about the kids.

It's always him, y'know, he's here, even now.

" He scratched at his chest. "I dunno what he was thinking, that maybe I could sink my dick in you a few times and get this need for a woman out of my system.

Well, he bloody fucked up. I want what you have, Julie.

" His stare grew hard. "So much I can fucking taste it.

I want to feel that magic with a woman and him. "

I don't know why, but I pulled him in close and hugged him.

I didn't know what else to do, and the burning in my chest seemed to want everyone to be included in its warmth.

I couldn't give him what he wanted, not with me, not with Jack.

I didn't know him, and I had no idea why Jack would be holding out on Hawk, but I could at least give him the comfort of my body.

He pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me, burying his head in my neck. His hands moved restively, not stroking but not able to be still.

"I miss him, y'know?" His voice came out muffled, but no less intense for it.

"He never seems to get that. We live in the same place, work on the same team, but I fucking ache when he's not around. I carry the scent of him in my nose, the taste in my mouth. I watch him as we work, and I’m always getting pulled up by the leading hand for that.

I remember how it felt to take his cock down my throat, to plunge myself into him over and over.

The twist of that shit eating smile of his, the way his hair feels under my fingers, that tilt of his chin when I just know he's gonna cause trouble again. "

"Hawk, you've got to go back to him. Tell him this. He obviously loves you. He's doing this to make you happy."

He drew back, keeping me straddling his lap with a loose arm.

"That's the problem, isn't it? It's me that stops what you had happening.

Some of the blokes, not many, but they only want their male partner or partners.

Some never wanted a woman in the first place, others aren't willing to challenge what they have by trying it with a woman.

Too much of a risk that she won't accept all of them, or be threatened by the bonds they already have.

But me, I can't let it go. I'm too much of a selfish bastard to be grateful for what I've got.

He sent me here because he thinks you might be more open, might give the two of us a chance.

He knows I won't be happy with just him. I want it all, Julie."

He pulled me closer, his hand going to the hem of the shirt that was rucked up around my waist now.

"He thinks I can fuck this out of my system, but I'm not so sure.

You're so fucking soft and ripe. I knew this would be hot, but fuck.

I've been aching and hard like a stone, watching you with those two, watching Slade order you around and just waiting for you to smack him down and put him in his place.

" His hand roamed across my belly. "I can still smell you in my beard.

I don't want to wash my face, I want to hold onto it for as long as possible.

You get so slick and wet. We don't do that.

You seem so soft and fragile, but you were taking it from them like a warrior. "

"You want to taste me again," I said.

"Yes."

"You want me to suck your cock."

"Yes."

"You want to work that fucking behemoth of a dick into me."

"I'll go slow, slow as you need."

"Well, alright then. Let’s go inside. It’s wet and dirty out here."