Page 277

I lay on the bed, freshly showered again, the light filtering in through the window as the heat abated, satisfied for the moment.

Shaun stood in the doorway, looking me up and down like I was a Titian Venus or something instead of just me.

He swept in with a big platter stacked full of food and a couple bottles of water.

He cocked an eyebrow, offering me one, and this time, I took it gratefully.

His eyes took in the way I guzzled the contents with an almost proprietary air, and he took the empty bottle back from me with a smile.

“You’re gonna need to carb load,” he said, putting the platter down on the sheets.

“You seem to be coping with the idea of going into heat much better than I expected. I can get one of the ladies to come by and explain how it all works here, if you’re open to it.

I can…I can even show you what we become if you like. ”

We need to show him.

My Tirian rarely pushed hard, only surging up and out of me on the full moon, but I felt that familiar prickle of sweat, my skin feeling that too tight sensation that heralded a shift.

No, no, we can’t.

He is one of us. He is pack.

“Bec? Everything OK?” Shaun looked down at me in concern.

He needs to see us. See me , she insisted.

Hello, that was different. I frowned, unable to hear his voice when I could hear hers. We were separate but connected, but this was the only time outside of the full moon that she pushed me hard.

What’s going down here? I asked her.

His Tirian is my mate. We were joined before. We… Back… I could hear her struggling, as if the memories she was so sure of came in pieces. He is mine!

I scrambled off the bed, the only warning I got before my hands dropped down on the ground and she rushed up and out, shifting our form into hers. We stood there, our fur wisping into grey smoke, staring up at him as he returned the favour.

“You…” He pointed, wide-eyed, shaking his head when our Tirian form didn’t disappear. “You’ve…”

And then I saw what I must have looked like, the human struggling with the Tirian, his muscles twitching until a stark white smoke wolf stood before us.

Mate , we said, as sure as stone, taking a step around the bed to get to him.

Mate , his Tirian agreed, then came forward, pushing his muzzle into my fur, burying his nose deep, taking long breaths to suck our scent into his lungs. So long. I waited… Where…?

Beyond our lands, in those of the humans. Exile.

Pictures flashed in my mind, of my Tirian being driven out of a Sanctuary much older than the one I stood within now, an authoritative woman, with a look about her that reminded me of Ophelia, directing us to go with a swift movement of her hand.

I felt my Tirian’s confusion at that, but he didn’t seem to care, his muzzle burying itself further until I felt the nip of his teeth.

Mate , he insisted, something deeper and hard and desperate there, and I didn’t know if that was Shaun or his Tirian speaking. The nips got harder, more frequent. Mate.

Mate , she agreed, but there was some disquiet there, our body shifting away from his, but he kept on coming.

Mate!

It was a shout in my mind, a command for me to sit still, to take what was coming.

He needed me, I could feel it, rushing towards me like a bullet train.

But I didn’t know what it was, what this was, the mere fragments my Tirian had shared with me more confusing than anything.

I fought then, knowing somehow what it would mean if he got his fangs into me.

Shaun seemed like a nice dude, but mated for life?

I was not prepared to make that commitment just for some good dick.

Let me out , I insisted.

But it wasn’t me that reverted back to human form first, Shaun going back to skin and standing there, chest heaving as he stared at me wide-eyed.

“I’m sorry, so fucking sorry, Ja?—”

“What the fuck?”

The shift from Tirian to human was always disorientating.

We were way more reliant on language and logic than they were, and I could feel her low simmering resentment, threaded through with her ravaging need.

She wanted to be close to Shaun with every damn breath, needed to feel him, smell him, taste him.

The fact he was him and his Tirian was separate didn’t matter to her.

He was a part of her mate, and there was no bit of him she didn’t accept. Frankly, I admired her restraint.

How long have you known? I asked her carefully, pretty sure I knew the answer to that.

Always , she replied. Always. We were supposed to be reunited, to come together again and again, through this life and the next. I will always know my mates, and I knew it was him when he first walked in the door.

But I need to find my way in this , I said. I just got here, Sanctuary, whatever that is.

Home , she insisted.

A home we were driven out of. That quieted her. I need to find my feet, and you need to respect that. If I fuck things up in this life, at least you’ll have the next, right?

I could feel her reluctance as my eyes slid to Shaun, his body almost trembling with the effort it took to hold himself back, but he did, then shook his head.

“Fuck, that’s the last… I’m so…”

I laughed, because this felt like one of those postcoital brushoffs. The ole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing, but when his eyes met mine, I knew I’d never get that with him, and wasn’t that a fucking scary thought? His whole soul felt like it was there on the surface, staring into me.

“I—”

“We—”

We both started to talk and then realised we were interrupting the other, then snorted in response.

“You go,” he said.

“I…”

Need to touch him. Your heat is rising again , my Tirian said smugly, and my nakedness and his became suddenly apparent.

Odd, I know, but somehow, that shit had gotten sidelined during this whole thing.

I wanted to say what I was going to say, but the words, all words got lost, his eyes losing their shell-shocked look as my eyes raked over him.

Do you know how hot it is, watching a guy get hard just from looking at him?

His cock twitched as it felt like I was dropping deeper and deeper into a hot bath, the warmth sweeping in and taking over.

I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly bone-dry, and his cock twitched in response, as if seeing the movement made him think of other things.

Well, great minds think alike.

I moved closer and saw him hardening at what appeared to be an overwhelming rate, his chest rising and falling as I fell to my knees.

“No…” he protested, right up until I gripped his cock in one hand and trailed my tongue up its length before I looked upwards. “Oh fuck!” he rasped out as I licked away all trace of pre-cum. “Bec, love, you don’t?—”

I’d never understood why guys thought this was a submissive position.

I held him in the palm of my hand, literally.

I could say or do whatever I liked as long as I kept doing this.

He stared down into my eyes, his brows knitting and smoothing, his mouth opening wider the deeper I sucked him in.

He gave up the ghost on protesting as my lips swivelled down his length, but it was shoving the flat of my tongue up against the underside of his dick that sealed the deal.

His hands landed on my scalp, a slow description of what I was doing to him spilling from his lips.

“Fuck, yes, Bec. You feel so fucking good. You’re taking my cock so deep. Jesus, I can feel your fucking throat. So good, such a good girl.”

And I was as my head bobbed. Something terrible inside me needed him deeper and deeper, where usually, a gag reflex would kick in, while those faint traces of salty cum spurred me faster.

My hand slid between his legs, cupping his balls, which was met with universal approval, until I put them to one side and brushed my finger along his taint.

“Fuck, you gonna be a dirty girl?” he asked as I circled a finger around his butthole, then pushed in.

He gave a strangled cry, but the way he leant into that made me think I was on the right track, something confirmed when I crooked my finger, tapping against the small lump of his prostate.

He became incomprehensible, words jumbled with groans, his pants coming faster and faster, until finally, his fingers locked around my skull, holding himself taut as he announced, “I’m coming.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Swallow it down, that’s a good girl. ”

When I pulled away, he was shaking all over, boneless from pleasure as he flopped down on the bed, but when I returned after washing my hands, his eyes opened a crack and he held out a hand for me to join him.

He saw the hesitation but didn’t say anything, especially when I did climb on the bed.

He pushed me up, parting my thighs, leaving kisses along the skin before looking up at me.

“We need to talk about…that. I’ll hold him back, no one will force you into anything, and in Sanctuary, it’s always the woman that chooses, always. But…” His eyes flashed green for a second. “But I’m hoping we get a chance to work out what the hell we want, away from our beasts.”

I nodded slowly in response.

“So how long have you known what you are? What we are?”

“Always,” I said, staring up at the ceiling as I remembered seeing my mum and nan cavorting in their wolf forms one of the times we went out camping in the bush. “I’ve always known. I shifted at fifteen, went through ten different heats.”

“Fuck…” he said. “How the hell did you get through that on your own?”

“Not always on my own,” I replied, feeling his fingers tighten around my thighs. “But enough times to know the misery of it.”

“Well, that’s something we can help you with, here at Sanctuary.

You don’t have to take anyone as a mate ever if you don’t want.

” I heard the strain in his voice as he said that, but he forged on, “If you just want some fun, something to take the edge off…” He placed a gentle kiss right over my clit, the sensation making me shiver.

“You’ll have men lined up around the block to help you through this. ”

And wasn’t that a glorious mental picture?

“I’ve died, haven’t I?” I asked. “Some bastard knifed me at the roadhouse, and I’m bleeding out on the floor. This is heaven, and I’ve somehow made it here.”

“I dunno, would an angel do this?” he asked as he slid his fingers through my wetness, only to circle my clit, once, twice. My hand buried itself in his hair at the sudden rush of sensation at that.

“My angel would…” I said breathily. “Fuck, Shaun, fuck…”