Page 163
“Dad, it's not that kind of crystal,” Finn said. “Look at the colour, Dad. This comes from the White Wolf.”
We weren’t getting through to him. His lips pulled back to reveal broken fangs, a growl building in his chest. I closed my eyes, the sudden all-encompassing blackness uncomfortable in ways it hadn’t been before, especially when I felt a low rumble below us. Death , I thought, regrowth.
I was never good at meditation or visualisation.
My mind went in a million different directions as the instructor spoke in even, sleep-inducing tones.
The crystal piano and dolphin soundtrack playing in the yoga studio I’d gone to made me wonder why dolphins were seen to be so spiritual.
Like, there was no cow mooing or cats mating in meditation music.
But the never-ending blackness motivated me.
God knows how I was going to sleep tonight, but right now, I wanted that darkness gone.
Green tendrils in the dark, green shoots, green plants, green…
I tried to talk myself through it, tried to imagine the same explosion of plant life I’d seen in my dreams. Why?
I wasn’t sure, but I figured—as we seemed to be led around by the nose by the Great Wolves—I may as well use what abilities they’d gifted us for good.
Green spots appeared in the seamless black, then disappeared, smothered by the gloom. I sighed.
Like this? my Tirian said, and my internal landscape erupted. Green, formless, and growing rapidly, the spots spun and spiralled in my mind’s eye, chasing the black away and eating up each speck of darkness like some kind of verdant vacuum cleaner.
“Jules… Jules!”
My eyes snapped open to see both Rhydian and Grey were sitting up, blinking as they inspected each other, wide eyed.
“Rhy?” Grey said, reaching out to touch the other man and then jerking his hand away. Rhydian looked a million times better. He was still too thin, particularly for a man from Sanctuary, but his cheeks were no longer as sunken and there was a little more padding on his ribs and torso.
“Grey…” The other man’s voice was no more than a whisper, easing out of his chest as he wrapped his arms around his mate. They clawed at each other, fighting to get closer as if needing that skin to skin contact.
“Get the keys.”
Finn’s voice was the sound of hell’s doors creaking open. His fingers dug into the corroding bars, sending flakes of rust to the ground. His eyes glowed phosphorescent green as he watched his fathers embrace.
“Get the keys, now!”
I planted my feet, imagining them rooted there, no more able to move than blocks of stone.
The command smashed into me, shoving me over and over to do his will.
But I couldn’t. I knew if it was my parents in there, I’d be using whatever damn mystical bullshit I had in my arsenal to raze this place to the ground.
Which would only further feed Lonan.
We had to be smart about this. I glanced down the rows of cells and saw the guys ferrying the food around while conducting hushed conversations.
Aaron was scoping out the breadth of the building, creating a mental map in his head and conferring with his team, while Sylvan’s eyes were on the captain’s office door.
We had to stick to the plan, which is what I told Finn.
He just stared at me for a second, as if unable to believe I hadn’t moved, hadn’t rushed to do his bidding.
He kept a lid on using his alpha powers, using them as sparingly as possible, but I think a small part of him held on to the fact that he could force things if he wanted to.
I’m not sure how he felt about the fact he couldn’t do that with me.
“Finn?” Rhydian finally seemed to see that his son stood there, peeling his body from Grey’s and approaching the bars. “Son?”
“Yeah, Dad,” Finn replied, his voice breaking. The tears shone, then fell openly, and I touched his hand to feel why. I gulped air in as it all hit.
I’d buried both my parents—Mum dying of cancer, Dad of a heart attack some time later—so I lived in that weird space orphans did. You love someone who you’re never going to see again, the very bond you have with them ripping you open and wounding you at odd times.
I often wondered if my lack of concern about having kids came partly from that. That when I had a baby, I’d be where Mum was, taking the same steps she took, more or less, only to at some point leave my child like she had, just as unwillingly. It certainly affected my openness in a relationship.
It’d taken a while, but that had to be what held me back when the guys had been falling all over themselves to give me their dicks and their hearts.
Love is pain. It’s both the most intense joining you can have with another being, and as a result, the most painful.
You place so much of your self-worth, your identity, your wants and needs, your being into the other person, who then places that in you.
And then comes the magic—what they give you becomes more important, transcending the almighty ego and need to survive, and becoming something so much bigger.
So, I felt Finn’s burning need as if my own, partially through the lens that I’d give body parts to dark gods for another chance to hold my parents, while realising I needed to deny Finn just that.
Tears slid down my own cheeks as all he felt pulsed inside me, and I just held that, treasuring that for a moment before I pushed back with what I knew.
“Finn, we have to?—”
“I know.”
“At least for a day or two. We’ve just got to?—”
“I know.”
“This is your mate, son?” Rhydian said, his grey eyes creasing, as if he wanted to keep the love and pain that shone there from his child. “She’s beautiful.”
“This is Jules,” he said, choking the words out. His hands whipped out, and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me hard to his chest. I half closed my eyes, feeling that godawful longing in him rise and meet my own.
“Jules, who’s been touched by the White Wolf.” He nodded. “You love our boy?”
I looked sideways at Finn, almost shyly. Of course I loved him, the feeling more raw and immediate after what we’d been through since coming through the portal, but it hit me so intensely in that moment, it was a struggle to make eye contact.
“You do,” Rhydian said. “Good, he’s going to need your strength for what’s coming.”
And with that, they sat down to strategise.
I returned to the tables and distributed food, while Sylvan maintained lookout and the others sorted the latrine buckets.
A silence fell over the cells when we started putting the keys back on the correct hooks and packed the bowls away, scraped as clean as we could get them.
We, the bringers of hope, were going back to Sylvan’s mother’s house, where no one would touch us against our will, feed us scraps, or make us shit in a bucket.
But not for long, I thought. We would find a way to get everyone out of here.
“Finished?” the captain said when we knocked on his door to take his tray away.
Finn nodded. “Good, good. Well, you know you’ll need to come down, even during the…
festivities? Don’t try and find a little bolthole to hide in.
I’ll come for you myself if you don’t feed the inmates and clean the cells.
” His eyes roamed across the lot of us. “And you wouldn’t want that. ”
“Of course, m’lord. Wouldn’t think of it, m’lord,” Finn replied.
“Good, and don’t think none of us will check. You might have run of the place, such as it is, but any skiving and you’ll be down the Great Wolf’s throat in a second.”
Brandon and I shuddered at that, remembering the feel of just that from our dream. The captain noted us reaching for the other’s hand, and nodded as if satisfied.
“You get what you needed?” Adam asked in a low voice as we returned to the kitchen. It was late and things were slowing down, most of the staff having gone home, and only the boys prepping food for the next day were left.
We nodded.
“Lian,” Finn said. “They say he has my father, Max.”
“That one?” Adam shook his head. “You’ll not retrieve that one. He’s kept in much better conditions nowadays. Only sees to Lian’s daughters when his master wishes it, and no others. No, you’d have a better chance of riding out of here on Lonan’s back than freeing him.”
Finn went to protest, but Slade put a hand on his arm.
“Thank you for today,” Sylvan said, taking Adam’s hand and placing a small clinking bag in the palm. “For your family.”
“That’s not needed,” flustered Adam, but when Sylvan closed his fingers over the bag, he looked pleased. “Take some food for yours and Tsarra’s dinner, please.”
“So, we move during this Great Rite,” Aaron said as we sat around Sylvan’s mother’s table. She hadn’t returned from her work yet, but we’d left a plate of food for her on the kitchen bench.
“Every Volken attends?” Finn said.
Sylvan nodded, but said, “Doesn’t that seem awfully neat?
I didn’t intend to arrive back any time near Longest Night.
I was hoping to avoid it like the plague.
Yet, here we are. Right at the moment when the Volken will be both their most powerful and least attentive.
We time this wrong, we’ll get caught up in the slaughter after, like all the other inhabitants.
” His eyes narrowed as they scanned the room.
“We time this right, we waltz out of here, your people in tow, and put as much distance between us and Lonan as possible.”
“What are you complaining about? Easy is good,” Slade said. “I get you’ve got some whole other trip going on, but we want out of here as soon as we can. This place makes me fucking sick.”
“Complete agreement here. We can’t afford to tackle the Volken head on,” Jack said. “This is like a god given gift.”
“But which god?” Sylvan said, mostly to himself.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163 (Reading here)
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190
- Page 191
- Page 192
- Page 193
- Page 194
- Page 195
- Page 196
- Page 197
- Page 198
- Page 199
- Page 200
- Page 201
- Page 202
- Page 203
- Page 204
- Page 205
- Page 206
- Page 207
- Page 208
- Page 209
- Page 210
- Page 211
- Page 212
- Page 213
- Page 214
- Page 215
- Page 216
- Page 217
- Page 218
- Page 219
- Page 220
- Page 221
- Page 222
- Page 223
- Page 224
- Page 225
- Page 226
- Page 227
- Page 228
- Page 229
- Page 230
- Page 231
- Page 232
- Page 233
- Page 234
- Page 235
- Page 236
- Page 237
- Page 238
- Page 239
- Page 240
- Page 241
- Page 242
- Page 243
- Page 244
- Page 245
- Page 246
- Page 247
- Page 248
- Page 249
- Page 250
- Page 251
- Page 252
- Page 253
- Page 254
- Page 255
- Page 256
- Page 257
- Page 258
- Page 259
- Page 260
- Page 261
- Page 262
- Page 263
- Page 264
- Page 265
- Page 266
- Page 267
- Page 268
- Page 269
- Page 270
- Page 271
- Page 272
- Page 273
- Page 274
- Page 275
- Page 276
- Page 277
- Page 278
- Page 279
- Page 280
- Page 281
- Page 282
- Page 283
- Page 284
- Page 285
- Page 286
- Page 287
- Page 288
- Page 289
- Page 290
- Page 291
- Page 292
- Page 293
- Page 294
- Page 295
- Page 296
- Page 297
- Page 298
- Page 299
- Page 300
- Page 301
- Page 302
- Page 303
- Page 304
- Page 305
- Page 306
- Page 307
- Page 308
- Page 309