Page 30
“Hello,” I said to the creature. This was a dream, I’d worked out. Every time I fell into REM sleep, I came back here and the wolf was waiting.
Hello , it replied, sort of. I never caught its lips moving or anything like speech from the wolf, but it replied nonetheless. Its voice sounded kind of hollow and echoey.
“So, I’ve never tried to have a conversation with an animal before. Well, I’ve never expected a response. That usually means you’re crazy. Maybe I am, maybe that’s why I never wake up… Anyway, what are you?”
Tirian , it replied.
“And what’s a Tirian when it’s at home? Or is that your name?”
It tilted its head to look at me and then said again, You .
“OK, I get it, you reckon you’re this hitherto unknown part of me. You’re not human, you don’t look like an actual wolf so…”
I am Tirian .
“Oh great, circular logic. Look what is a Tirian? Any Tirian?”
It chuckled, the fucking smoke monster chuckled. Tirian is… smoke wolf beast? Its green eyes scanned mine, as if pulling my mental image of it directly from my brain. Not accurate .
“I get that, that was my placeholder description until I got an accurate one. You obviously know and are supposed to be part of me, so how about you explain?”
Yes, I will show you . The ’Tirian’ got to its feet and looked over its shoulder meaningfully.
“You want me to follow you?”
No, ride .
“She’s looking better.”
“God almighty… She’s not better, she’s sedated as much as I dare, just short of killing her.
She screams whenever she regains consciousness, the entire time.
This is why I went into veterinary science, this is bloody cruel.
She’s not improving. She’s not going to improve.
We need to discuss amputation. Her hands, and one of her feet. ”
“That’s not going to happen. The full moon is only days away.”
“I’m not sure if she’ll make it. Can’t anyone force the change on her? If I have to bury this girl because of this… consider it my last act of employment. This is not what I signed up for.”
“I understand. We can’t force the change. The one that could… He would take her with him once she was healed, and we’d never see her again.”
“I get the importance of females to your kind, but seriously, at this point you don’t think this would be a better option than what’s happening now? She’s dying, and we’re letting her.”
“A lifetime of rape and forced child bearing? If we’re wrong and the change doesn’t happen, then we can look at more desperate options. You have your instructions, Doc, follow them.”
I was riding a wolf across a fantastic landscape.
It was a blur as we moved, but I saw more things shift as we travelled than was normal.
It was like we were bounding from one realm to the next, and each time the wolf’s paws hit the ground there was something different: icy tundra, an old growth forest, a field of sunflowers, a rocky mountainside.
Then finally, we stopped. We stood on the crest of a hill, looking down at the valley where a village had been built.
It was a small cluster of houses, smoke curling from the chimneys, chickens pecking the soil around them.
“ Watch ,” the Tirian said. As if on fast forward, I saw a rapid flicker of movement, people coming out and going inside the houses, hunters bringing home meat, farmers bringing home crops, children playing, women hanging out the washing.
Then it drew dark, and I wasn’t sure if it was because it was night time, or because of what happened next.
Great armoured men swept into town, crushing everything in their path.
Thankfully I only saw glimpses, but children’s throats were slit, women were raped and men slain, fighting hopelessly with spades and hoes.
Afterwards, there was a smoking ruin and a tiny group of tattered people, standing lost in the wreckage.
Slowly, I saw the town get rebuilt. Houses grew from shelters, crops were planted, cows and chickens returned, children were born and families grew. Then the sky became dark.
“Oh, no!” I murmured, hand going to my mouth.
Another group of men, different armour and with different colouring, came through and did the same.
The view of the village sped up until I saw the cycles, rebuild, rape and pillage, rebuild and rape and pillage.
Until one day, the raiders who came looked different.
Taller, they didn’t wear armour but the skins of wolves, the skulls perched on their heads like helmets.
They slashed at the inhabitants with curious spears made from a crystalline material that had been knapped to a series of razor sharp points.
They killed the children and the men, and left them lined up in a gruesome tally of their days work, but they left the sobbing women alive for a different purpose.
I wish this part went faster, the constant grinding rape.
I saw flickers of it only, yet it was too much.
Mouths stretched in screams as man after man took his fill.
I saw blood and semen running down the legs of the women when they staggered to their feet, only to be knocked down again.
The women grew big with child, huddling in rudimentary structures against the cold, the men now slower moving, less interested in brutality as they had achieved their goals.
They then left en masse, weapons shouldered, disappearing like smoke into the forest beyond, leaving their victims to survive the winter alone.
Their limbs became thinner and thinner as their bellies grew, many just resting listlessly for hours inside a primitive lean to, staring glassily into space.
One woman struggled to her feet, staggering over to the fire to put more kindling on it, the fire fighting to survive in the whipping wind.
The extra wood only smothered the remaining flames, and it died away to a wisp of smoke.
She looked at it, completely aghast, unable for the moment to believe this bad luck.
She dropped to her knees, her face a mask of despair, the pain so raw there I wanted to shut my eyes and pull away.
The Tirian, forgotten, pushed me with its muzzle to pay attention.
I didn’t want to watch her die, her pain reminded me of…
Her hands clasped together as she emitted a heartfelt prayer, tears sliding down her cheeks.
I didn’t know what she was saying but I watched her lips move rapidly, like she was pouring out her soul to her god.
I expected that to be the beginning of the end, for her to slowly starve or freeze to death.
But instead, a woman appeared before her, tall and wearing a gown of faded grey green, with long reddish brown hair.
She dropped to her knees, her dress unsullied by the ashy sludge and surrounded the woman’s hands with hers.
The pregnant woman’s eyes went wide, she babbled something, then moved her hand to her mouth as if to stop more from coming out.
It didn’t work, soon she was gesturing to the village, to the other women and then to her belly.
The red-haired woman bent down, touched her stomach for a moment and then shook her head.
The pregnant woman’s gestures grew wider, more desperate, her fingers stabbing in the direction of the other women, but the redhead shook her head again.
Defeated, the pregnant woman’s head dropped down and slowly she collapsed in on herself.
The red-haired woman looked the village and the victims over critically, and then tapped her finger to her lip.
The only sound I’d heard since we came here, a wolf howl, sounded in the distance.
This seemed to give the redhead an idea, and she swept her arms out in a great gesture, turning to make sure she included all of the women in it.
Every single one of them shifted into a smoke wolf beast, sorry, a Tirian, though their bellies remained swollen.
The Tirians shifted restlessly, taking in the changes for what felt like a second, and then the far off wolf howl called again.
Now a pearly white Tirian, the praying woman’s head jerked up, then she yipped at her pack mates, and they left the ruins in a flowing mass.
What came after was dizzying. Flash after flash of human children being born from their Tirian mothers, the women returning to human form, now sleek and well fed, to care for their children.
New villages were built and children grew.
When raiders came, the women instantly shifted into Tirian form and tore the flesh from their bones, teeth cutting through armour like butter.
Now the raiders were lined up in a neat line, as the women spoke to their bloody faced children.
As they grew, it became apparent there were more male children than female, and that it was the women who ran the village.
The original praying woman acted as leader, right up until she became grey and wizened, a horde now of young men and women at her feet.
When she died, her badge of office, a crystal necklace that looked much like the spear head of the wolf raiders, was passed to the next woman.
Time sped up, showing woman after woman after woman taking the necklace and the position, bands of men standing with one woman, children milling at their feet.
This started to flick by so fast, my view almost zooming out as I saw many villages with the same cycle of women stepping up and leading their people. Then, I saw the gate.
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