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He was easier to look at in the gloom, with only imprecise details of his face picked out by the moonlight.

“OK, I guess I’d feel ungrateful if I turned her down.”

“Don’t do it for that reason. Do it for you.”

What an alien concept , I thought

“Are you coming in?” Kade said. “We’ve still got to finish Return of the Jedi .”

“Is that OK, Flick?”

He watched me closely, as if wanting to catch my every reaction.

“Please, Mum?”

“It’s fine.” I tested that idea in my mind before nodding. It was. That felt strange, that I’d feel more comfortable with an almost stranger than my own husband, but it remained true the longer I looked at it. “We won’t be long for bed, anyway.”

I was surprised to see that Peter wasn’t home when we got in. Aidan made us tea as Kade got the DVD ready. He put my cup on the coffee table and then sat back down on the floor with my son.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I’ve been a mad Star Wars fan since I was a kid.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” I said with a smirk.

I didn’t really want the tea, but I needed something to do.

It was good to see Kade relax, share his love of sci-fi epics with the man, but every moment of pleasure came with an unfortunate reminder.

Had he ever relaxed like this with Rick?

His father certainly hadn’t been interested in Kade’s obsessions, always redirecting him to me, politely or not so politely.

While he’d been pleased enough to hear he was having a son, that was almost the highlight of the whole experience for him.

I watched the two of them as they watched the TV, as fascinated by their actions as they were of the character on the screen. Aidan was a natural with Kade—easy, engaged, open. I wasn’t surprised when I saw Kade sidle up and place his head on the man’s arm.

“Are you getting tired, Kade?” I asked.

“No!”

This was, of course, punctuated by a loud yawn.

“C’mon, love. Time for bed,” I said, getting to my feet in a series of stiff movements. “You can watch more DVDs with Aidan tomorrow.”

Shit , I thought. I should have asked if that was OK.

“Really?” Kade said.

“I’d like that,” Aidan replied to me, not my son. “C’mon, mate, time to brush your teeth.”

Wide-eyed, I watched my son walk off to the bathroom without the usual litany of complaints, but when I turned back, Aidan stood before me.

“Flick, we…we didn’t really want to leave you alone here. You’re perfectly safe,” he said in a rush when he saw my expression. “Pete’s just had to go and do something for a bit, but we can go back home, if you’d prefer.”

I looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time.

I could tell polygamy was a common thing here by the architecture.

The house was much bigger than ours was, with multiple bedrooms, presumably for growing families, along with the huge beds.

I tried to imagine just Kade and I knocking around in here, and the space felt cavernous.

But I needed to stand on my own two feet, check in with my son. He had attached himself to Aidan since I’d woken up, which was worrying in itself. He was a stranger, and he preferred him to his own mother?

Does he resent me for what happened? Does he blame me?

Those ideas smashed into me bodily, leaving me reeling from the implications.

I looked at Aidan, saw him shifting uncomfortably as he waited for me to reply.

I felt both a gratitude that he’d stepped up when I couldn’t, and a resentment that he’d had to, followed quickly by a swirl of guilt.

You should have left long before this happened. You shouldn’t have let it get this bad. You should have protected Kade. You could have gone back to the city with him. Now your son prefers to be with complete strangers. Aidan’s just trying to help, and you’re getting all pissy and ? —

I jumped when I felt the hand on my arm, and I was even more surprised to see it was Aidan’s.

“Ophelia said we’re here under your sufferance. We’ll go if that’s what you need.”

“What?”

I had hoped to never hear that tone in my child’s voice again. He walked out into the lounge room, mouth still covered with toothpaste. Kade looked from me to Aidan to me again.

“Mum?”

Tears sprang unbidden at the sound of that one word. There was so much fear and anger and need in it.

“Mum?”

His voice was getting higher, shriller.

“Look, mate, if Mum says it's OK, I’ll come back?—”

“No!” His toothbrush dropped to the floor, and some sickly conditioned part of myself wanted to rush in and clean away the toothpaste, rather than go to my son.

But I did. I walked over, went to fold him in my arms, but he thrashed in my grip, sharp little elbows colliding with my injuries, forcing me to bite back my yelps.

I was forced to let go of him, and my arms wrapped around my now aching midriff.

“Kade! Kade!” Aidan tried to calm him, but my son just wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist and hung on tight, as if to prevent him from leaving. “Look, mate, it’s OK. Just take a deep breath. Mum’s hurt, and I need to see if she’s OK.”

But he shouldn’t have. It was far more painful to watch my child crumple up into a small sobbing ball, arms wrapped around himself when there was no one there to hug, rocking himself back and forth in that absence.

“No,” I gasped through the waves of pain as Aidan came closer. “Kade.”

He nodded, picking my son up, my heart breaking when Kade’s arms wrapped tight around the man’s neck, burying his face in Aidan’s hair. Like he used to do to you , I thought, and that realisation hurt almost as much.

Of course, that was when Peter walked in.

He blanched visibly at the chaos he surveyed.

Kade was sobbing hysterically now. I watched Aidan’s hand rub up and down Kade’s back over and over with hungry eyes.

Just this morning, he’d been curled up against me when I woke and then…

Peter nodded, his eyes lingering on the way I held my stomach, then he crossed the floor and placed a hand on my shoulder.

I shrank back, not wanting it, not wanting the comfort or the reassurance that came pouring down the bond.

Not wanting him to be caught up in the spiral of shame and disgust that churned inside me.

“C’mon,” was all he said to all of us, and then steered me gently to the bed I’d slept in. I watched as Aidan came with us, carrying Kade. He went to one side of the bed and laid my son down, calming him when he began to fret. Then he kicked off his boots and nodded to me.

“Mum’s gonna lay down, and you’ll curl up next to her like you did last night.” He held up a hand when Kade went to reply. “We’ll be here as well, on either side, OK? We’ll keep the nightmares from coming.”

Nightmares? The word was like a grenade lobbed into my heart.

Aidan unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a singlet underneath. He sat on the end of the bed, his hand on Kade’s back, and then nodded to us.

“Put this on,” Peter said to me, taking off his shirt and passing it to me, then both men turned around to let me get changed. “It’ll be more comfortable, and the scent will help you sleep.”

I just stared at it for a second, then shook my head and did as I was told.

He was right. I’d only worn soft sweats, nothing constricting, but the fall of the voluminous fabric and the woody smell permeating the fabric helped soothe my ragged nerves a little.

I climbed on the bed almost tentatively, Aidan smiling encouragingly.

That hurt, that he felt like he had to. I moved to the centre, wanting to bury my head in the pillow and pull the blanket over my head, but instead, I reached out a tentative hand to my child.

As if able to sense it, Kade opened his eyes and then scrambled closer, grabbing onto the shirt I wore and burying his head on my chest. Aidan watched my hand fall down to rest on Kade’s shoulder blade with a smile, and then, with a questioning look, shifted to lay down beside us.

I nodded, feeling Peter doing the same as he moved closer, until I could feel the hot weight of his body against mine.

My eyes instantly fell to half mast, the most tremendous feeling of contentment washing through me.

Screw the medication, this took all the pain away—both psychological and physical.

Peter’s hand tightened on me as I pushed back against him, almost catlike in my need for more, but then Kade sniffled.

“You need Aidan right now, don’t you?” I asked in a whisper.

And then Kade said something that sent my every hair on end.

“He is pack.”