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He didn’t know where he was going. At first, being able to formulate a thought about what he was doing was well past his capability.

But after untold miles had been covered, after the adrenalin had been tapped and drained away, he came back to himself, his paws slowing, a pleasant ache in his body when he came to a stop.

He whined, sniffing the wind, looking around.

He didn’t recognise this place, but being night, it didn’t seem to matter.

It doesn’t matter , he thought, and it felt odd for a moment to have an internal dialogue, the shapes of words feeling strange in his skull. Nothing matters.

Which brought with it a curious freedom.

As soon as he had re-engaged his ‘monkey brain’ as his Tirian called it, there was a mass of…

stuff clamouring to be dealt with again.

He shoved that roughly to one side. It was big and heavy and cut him to pieces, the stuff.

Right now, he didn’t need to think about it and he wouldn’t.

He trotted forward, into a dark place between two trees, the grass parting, little bugs spinning upwards to mark his passing.

He walked until he found it—a clearing within the trees that let in a pool of moonlight.

He curled up on the grass, his fluffy tail covering his nose, and watched the lady moon make her progress across the sky.

“What a bitch.”

His head jerked up, his eyes snapping open when he saw a man thing come from within the trees.

A growl formed in his chest as he saw this black clad shape emerge.

It moved…oddly, with a jerking, artificial gait, its glowing red eyes telling him exactly what kind of man thing this was.

The growl turned into a full-throated snarl when it tried to come closer, so he paused and then sat down on a suddenly convenient log.

“Now, now,” the voice rasped. “No need to get hot under the collar.” His grin was bright and terrible, promising a world of pain, it just wasn’t clear for who. For Noah, or for his enemies? That was the thing that stopped him from driving the thing away.

“Having women problems?” His laugh was the sound of a rusty knife being sharpened. “I know something of that. Why don’t you tell me about it?”

The second or maybe third clue that this was no normal man thing was with a twist of his wrist, Noah returned to human form, blinking as he felt the prickle of grass and small stones on his butt, shivering from the cold.

“Who the fuck are you?” Noah snapped.

“Me?” A hand went drunkenly to the man thing’s chest. “Oh, just your friendly, neighbourhood wanderer. Y’see, I’ve been driven out too.”

“You’re an exile?” Noah scrambled to his feet.

“Settle down there, bud. If I am, surely you are too?”

The question was a hand on Noah’s shoulder, pushing him back down again. He settled against the ground and then looked the other man over with narrowed eyes.

“Who the hell are you? I’ve never seen you in Sanctuary.”

“No?” The man laughed, a horrible choking sound.

“You might find that you have. It’s just living rough, it takes it out of a man, amirite?

” He waited for a response from Noah, but he just stared back.

“Look, if you can guess my name, there’s a little something in it for ya, OK?

Now, tell me what’s got you hightailing out of that shithole like the devil’s on your tail? ”

The urge to speak was quickly smothered. He did that a lot, edited out everything, making sure only what was OK and right to say got past his lips. He eyed the strange man with his shining red eyes.

“C’mon, bud. Don’t hold out on me. I asked, I’m interested. Lay it on me, brother.”

The need rose and rose, Noah’s eyes darting around, as if checking for possible people his words might hurt before letting them out. A long sigh whistled out between his lips, the man thing leaning forward as if drawn by it.

“I’m not part of the pack.”

Noah didn’t look up to see the man thing’s reaction, because he was too overwhelmed by his own.

If the red eyed man produced a scythe and sliced him in two, it could not be more painful than this.

Saying it made it real. Making it real made his eyes, his chest ache.

His mouth went bone-dry, nausea swirling in his gut.

“He is, Sen. I dunno how it happened. What made her…” He didn’t like the words, his lips curling back from his teeth as he said them, but out they came.

“We had this moment this morning where I thought…” His hands flexed aimlessly.

“She was so beautiful and all around me. All I could feel was her. It felt like our hearts beat in sync. Like she was… She made me feel so good, and I felt seen and understood. That she knew how I felt, what I needed, and she made time to give it to me.” His eyes darted up to meet those glowing red eyes, their blank glare somehow easier to look into than actual human eyes.

“And lemme guess, bud. She chose someone else? Some fucker with a pushy temperament, who waltzed in and took the girl you worked so hard to woo.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, no. Their relationship?—”

“Is apparently more important.”

“No, Flick, she?—”

“Chose the alpha dude over a weird little freak like you. I geddit, seriously. Happens all the time. Those bitches.”

“No, it’s not like that. Don’t… Don’t call Flick a bitch.”

“Why not? That’s what she’s doing, isn’t she, Noah?

She’s using you to look after her kid and run her household, be emotional support and something to spice up her sex life, but it’s not about you, is it?

When does she sit down and listen to you talk about your day, what you’re interested in?

When does she say ‘Oh no, Noah. Sleep in, baby. I’ve got the kid’?

When does she tell those other lunks it’s just you tonight?

That they can stay, maybe watch, but just this once, you’re the important one.

What she can do for you, how she can take you, riding you to higher and higher heights.

Stroking your hair, telling you she loves you.

You know she does it for the others. You’ve seen her do it.

You’ve watched every act of love she’s lavished on those ungrateful pricks with hungry eyes, just waiting, always waiting for it to be done to you.

She’s using you, sport. You know it, and I know it.

Now the question is, whaddya gonna do about it? ”

Noah’s eyes narrowed as he watched the vague outline of the man thing shift in the darkness, the moonlight seeming to skim over and run off his body. He was darkness incarnate, no light source able to pierce his form. A form that seemed to shift and waver like smoke.

“Time to get your revenge, Noah. Time to show this bitch, all those bitches that overlooked you or sneered when you stood up as a candidate for their packs. Time to stand up to those cunts that mock you for even trying. Who call you fucking names like the school yard bullies they are. Time to show that whole town what you’re capable of. ”

The picture the man thing painted for him was a dazzling one.

All airbrushed mural of epic deeds, it glossed over everything real, transforming it into this highly idealised view of the way things were, something his brain leapt at.

It would all be so simple, to take away all of the humanity of everyone involved and create this grand narrative, even if it was one where the whole of his world had turned against him.

It was simple, it was easy to understand, his brain leaping to provide evidence to shore up this view and make it reality.

When Flick walked past him, when she kissed one of the other men when he put her food before her.

When she didn’t notice him reaching for her, longing for her.

When she found her pleasures with each and every man but him, leaving him aching.

He could bring up incident after incident and damn her to hell with each and every one of them.

“Yes… Yes…” the man thing hissed, his eyes flaring brighter.

This is not a friend , his Tirian said slowly, tersely, as if to cut through the noise inside his head. This is Lonan.

Noah was on his feet, walking towards the man thing, grabbing two stones from the ground as he went.

“Fucking stupid cunt…” the thing rambled, his words becoming less and less distinct as they grew more violent. “Tear that stupid bitch apart. Push her down. Show her who’s fucking boss. Stick it in her and make her take it. Fucking bitch. Fucking stupid bitch!”

The smell was what hit Noah first, then the sight as he flicked his lighter on, illuminating the man thing’s face.

“I never told you my name,” Noah growled.

“No? You sure about that, bud?”

The voice was the only intact thing about the man thing, the moonlight revealing the rotten, maggot infested, bloated face of Flick’s ex-husband. “Rick…” Noah growled.

“Not Rick anymore. He was weak where you are strong, Noah. You can use me to?—”

Lonan’s shitty plans were silenced abruptly as Noah punched the corpse in the face.

He fought back a gag as he felt the skull, the rotten flesh give under his fingers, but he just kept punching.

The man thing, Lonan, tried to stop him with meaty paws that disintegrated as soon as they clawed at Noah’s flesh, the man pulling his punches when he saw what a mess the thing was.

He watched the frantic scrabble, the sodden slop of its limbs as it just fell apart.

And his anger and pain went with it.

Anger, fear, need, feeling overlooked, these were all understandable reactions.

Relationships were hard and took a lot of work to keep healthy and happy, and often, we failed.

It didn’t take much for Noah to see all the times Flick was overwhelmed, needy, scared, feeling guilty as she tried so hard to treat them all with the respect and love they deserved.

She can’t help us if we don’t tell her what’s wrong , his Tirian said. She has too many things to try and balance. We have to tell her.

That sentence sank down into him, deeper and deeper, until it took root permanently.

We have to tell her.

The realisation that Lonan was still trying to paw at him was almost an afterthought.

He picked up a branch and shoved it through the man thing’s heart and then scattered dried grass and leaves on it.

It burbled some shit, but he didn’t pay attention to that now, using the two stones to create a spark, then lighting some kindling and dropping it on his chest, the fire spreading with an eager hunger.

Noah listened to the wet screams and the whistle of roasting flesh, trying his best to breathe through his mouth as the stinking smoke went up, and waited until it was all consumed before pulling out his dick and pissing all over the fire, putting it out.

When there was no sound other than the hiss of the wind in the trees, he turned, seeing the light bleeding through the darkness, heralding the start of the day, and then turned back into his beast, trotting off, back to her.