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The walk back home wasn’t the usual peaceful experience.

“You heard about Flick and Sen?” Karen had asked as he walked out. “Oh, well…”

“Yes,” he’d replied. “I’m glad. Sen’ll be good for Flick.”

“Yeah, right, of course. Well, you’ll find your mate someday, Noah.”

The words were innocent enough. People did this, tried to reassure others when they missed out on an opportunity, he knew that.

But did her reply need to sound so weak, so tentative?

While he avoided eye contact because it felt so intensely personal, the equivalent to getting right up into someone’s face, he found when others did, it was because they felt uncomfortable, ready to forget you before you’d even left.

Karen did that now, her eyes unnaturally focussed on the screen in front of her.

Sen and Flick, Sen and Flick… The words rolled over and over in his mind as he walked outside, heading towards the married quarters.

He hadn’t had time to think about it in his office.

His first thought had been his pleasure and happiness for Flick, but now…

Selfish thoughts he didn’t want to entertain came rushing up.

Why him and not me? After this morning, we had this moment… What does he do for the family? He sleeps in and rolls out of bed, sitting at the head of the table like he ? —

You don’t want to do this , his Tirian said.

No, I don’t , he agreed and focussed on putting one foot in front of the other.

“Ah, good, you’re here.”

Veronica was a fine-looking woman with a long fall of thick black hair and her son’s grey eyes. In her though, they were a lot less gentle. Noah froze, his hand on the doorframe.

“Come in, come in. We need to get the PA system set up before everyone gets here.”

“OK,” he replied. “Where do you want it?”

“I’m thinking through here.” Sen’s mother swept through the lounge room like she owned the place, stepping over LEGOs with a grimace.

“That will all need to go as well.” She cast a vague hand over Kade’s toys.

“I don’t know where the clean-up crew is.

We need everything to be just so. Now the PA.

Outside and in between the arch I think. ”

Arch?

She pushed the sliding door open, gesturing briskly for him to follow, and stepped out onto the patio, then pointed to a lattice archway being installed by several men. Women hovered around with baskets full of flowers and vines retrieved from god knows where.

“I want to be able to stand before the happy couple and introduce them to the community,” she said.

“So I need my voice to be heard around the whole backyard. I’ve invited just about everyone, so this is going to be huge.

Now, Renee had a hand held microphone. I was thinking something sleeker.

A headset mic? Do you have anything like that? ”

She turned expectantly to him, pinning him to the spot with those eyes of hers, forcing him to fight the urge to walk away.

Matriarch , he told himself. Show respect.

“I don’t have any AV equipment, Veronica. I could probably muddle through anything you were able to get your hands on, but the fellas from the band would be more helpful,” he replied in an even voice.

“What?” She jerked as if stung. “Then what are you doing here?”

“He lives here.”

They both turned to see Flick and Kade had arrived, Sen at their back. The boy ran over to him, throwing his arms around Noah’s waist.

“Hey, champ?” he asked. “How was school?”

“Good. We played clone troopers and Sith, and I made Mila be the emperor.”

“And what did she think about that?” he asked, wondering how the boy would make the headstrong girl do anything.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I said he was the most powerful person in Star Wars and we were trying to fight him and she was into it. Then the other boys ruined it by telling her what the emperor was like, because then Kiralee wanted to be the emperor and they got into a fight.” The boy’s face fell.

“We’re not allowed to play Star Wars in the yard anymore. ”

“Well, you’ll be able to here, tonight. We’re having another party.”

“Because Sen’s my dad now?” Kade turned and looked at the man a little cautiously.

“If you want him to be,” Noah replied. “Why don’t you talk to him about it?”

Veronica watched the exchange with a slight frown, but she didn’t get long with that. Flick strode forward, and Noah was once again struck by how beautiful she was.

Her hair streamed back from her face, a warm chestnut brown, her eyes so much paler blue in the sunlight. Especially as they were sparking with what looked like some serious irritation.

“What are you doing, Veronica?” she asked.

“I was asking the IT tech to set up the PA system.”

“Noah isn’t the IT tech.” He looked down with a start when Flick linked her arm with his. “He’s part of my pack.”

Veronica’s brows only creased further at that.

“I was told you only had three mates. Sen, if you’d made introductions when I asked, this wouldn’t have happened. I’ve invited Aidan and Peter’s family.”

“Not Peter’s mother!” everyone said at once.

“Of course Peter’s mother. It’s a matter of respect. I think she said she was ill and couldn’t attend. Now I’ll have to get on the phone and send out more invites. As if I don’t have enough to organise. Noah, I’ll need your contact list with all of the relevant female family members?—”

Noah’s hand went automatically to his phone, but Flick’s fingers tightened around his arm, shaking her head at him.

“No, you won’t. Mum, you’re being high handed and ridiculous, again,” Sen said.

“This is the first bonding of any of my boys. It needs to be done right.”

“Mum…”

“What will people think if there’s packmates not represented by their families?”

“Most people will be here to wish us well and to have a good time,” Sen replied.

Sen’s mother’s eyes began to shine suspiciously, her fingers going to her lips.

“I know you think that your brothers got more of my time than you did.”

“Oh god, Mum. We’ve all had a massive day and are completely wiped.

We do not have the energy for the histrionics!

” Sen snapped. Everyone’s eyes jerked up, seeing the red eyed shine there.

It always put the pack on edge, even though they knew the presence of the Black Wolf in Sen didn’t necessarily mean Lonan, and they’d all learned to deal with it.

Usually, it was only when he was angry or turned on, but either way, he talked through what was going on with him and everything went on as normal.

“Kade, mate,” he said in a much gentler tone, dropping down onto his heels.

“C’mere.” The boy looked up at Aidan, then Noah, and they both nodded.

“Just stay there if you’re not feeling comfortable.

” The man indicated a spot at arm’s length, but Noah saw the tension in Sen’s face when Kade took that option.

“You know I’ve been living here for a while now.

” Kade nodded. “We’ve watched a bunch of movies, and we’ve built some LEGOs together? ”

“Yeah, you helped me with the Death Star Nana Renee bought me when Aidan and Noah were at work.”

“Right, so nothing’s changed, everything is like it has been. Your mum has chosen to keep me around permanently now, but for you, it's still the same. I’ll be there when you go to sleep and when you wake up. I’ll look after you and your mum with your other dads.”

“So are you my dad, too?”

Noah’s heart froze in his chest as the boy turned and looked straight at him.

He felt like the kid had plunged a knife straight into his chest, and he was there pushing it deeper.

His vision blurred, tears springing unbidden, much to his horror.

He couldn’t fucking help it. Here was this kid, this child that had been so brutalised…

He’d never get the photographs Ophelia had shared with him out of his head, but he knew that no matter what he felt, he couldn’t do this now, couldn’t do this to Flick and Sen.

“I’ll always be there for you. Always. That’s what matters,” he replied, and it took every ounce of his focus to get the words out clearly and calmly.

“Now, I only just got home. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna grab a shower before everything gets too crazy, then I’ll see if I can help Veronica with that PA system. ”

He ruffled Kade’s hair as he passed, shooting him a grin he didn’t feel and yet he did.

As he strode inside the house, he told himself that Kade was safe, he had three men who’d die in a ditch to look after him, and so did Flick.

The fact that she was able to open herself to anyone was amazing, let alone three men.

She deserved them, deserved all the love they could give her and more.

That was well done , his Tirian said.

I hope so . He forced himself to unbutton his shirt carefully when he got inside the bathroom rather than tear it to shreds like he wanted to.

He wasn’t a child anymore, he didn’t need to do those things.

He’d watched his fingers shake, felt that curious clawing pain that had taken root inside him once things started to settle with Flick.

He wanted to step under the water and let it all wash away, but it never worked.

He stepped under the showerhead anyway, feeling the reassuring beat on his skin.

He loved the regular, predictable feel of it, like a massage over his whole body, but he could direct it where he needed it.

Though it didn’t change anything. The hot fingers of water might pummel his flesh, but what could he use for inside him? There was only her, them.

“So are you my dad too?”

Don’t think about that yet.

Her beast wants you as her mate , his told him.

Yeah, well that doesn’t mean she will. We focus on getting through tonight.

And then we run. You need to recharge. You’re getting close to your limits. You don’t want to go beyond them.

A quick shameful kaleidoscope of all the other times he’d misjudged his limits sprang to mind, but he pushed them to one side too. He knew he’d fucked up before. He just wasn’t going to do that now.

Focus on her, them. Focus on Kade. Everyone will be busy with the party, and the kids will be bored. Look after them, make sure they’re OK. It’s the same, but different. Same needs, different context. Work out the steps and then follow through.

“Noah, are you OK?”

Flick came into the bathroom as he was brushing his hair back, and he watched her reflection with hungry eyes.

“Everything’s OK,” he said. He put the brush down on the bathroom sink counter and reached across, putting the softest of kisses on his lover’s lips, liking the way she melted into him, moving into his arms like they were two parts of a puzzle.

He had this, he still had this. “Congratulations, Flick.”

He watched the shy, almost furtive smile spread across her face, stroking her hair back as she struggled to process what had obviously been a big day.

“I…I feel like I need to apologise or something, Noah. You?—”

He silenced her with a kiss, not wanting to hear it, her attempt to reconcile his need for her and the fact that she wasn’t or wouldn’t be ready. Not here, not yet. Let her, them, just enjoy the party, enjoy each other, celebrate what must have been an insanely intimate moment.

“It’ll be fine, Flick. Let’s get out there and see what hell Veronica has wrought.”