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“Just…don’t come too close,” I said, standing in Kade’s room, forcing myself to pack him a bag when Aidan and Peter came in.

Somehow, my gentle mates were gone, and instead, they were the big bad wolves, stalking in, eyeing their prey, and getting ready to eat me all up.

I wanted to let them, as there was very little stopping me from throwing myself down on my son’s bed and pulling them on top of me.

And those others too , my Tirian said with a hungry smile.

Even Snowy? I replied with a frown. I have no idea who he is. Maybe he kicks puppies for fun.

I would not let anyone like that touch us.

But still.

You want to cut everything up with the knives of your mind, be able to predict every eventuality. He may be just heat fever. A body to lose yourself in. There’s no shame in that.

But I only just got myself back , I replied.

“Should we pack his pillow?” Aidan asked.

I just nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

“What about his books or his backpack?” Peter asked.

Nodding again.

“His—”

“Mum has all of this,” Aidan said, throwing the pile he’d collected on the bed. “She’s gonna give him chocolate chip pancakes for every meal, let him sit up until midnight watching Disney+ and have a right royal time. This is just stalling.”

He was right, of course. Most of this stuff had been supplied by the town. They’d have little trouble coming up with a second set, but I zipped up the bag with a defiant jerk and went to pick it up.

“Let me,” Peter said, sending a shiver up my spine when his fingers grazed mine.

I looked up at him, saw those molten chocolate eyes and all the desire raging there, only held back by his will.

But I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to unleash it upon me, drive me to the ground, and then spread my legs and shove that great big?—

“Flick?”

My head jerked up at Aidan’s voice. God, I felt fucking boneless, my body like jelly, barely able to support my own weight with the heat rushing through me.

“It’s OK, baby,” he said, coming in close and wrapping his arms around me. “We’ll see to this soon enough, make you feel so good.”

“Yes…” I hissed.

“I’ll be right back,” Peter said.

“No,” I said as I shook my head, the world spinning when I did so. “I need to say goodbye to my son.”

I knelt down in front of an excited little boy who was listening to all the instructions with barely concealed impatience.

“So, you’ll be OK?” I asked finally.

“Yep. The kids at school reckon it's the best, like going on holidays. Everyone’s grandparents spoil them rotten and let them get away with murder.”

“Do they indeed?” I said, definitely hearing someone else’s words in my son’s mouth.

“No need to tell Mum all our secrets, Kade,” Cooper said. “It’ll be OK, Flick. Renee’s been preparing for weeks for this.”

“Well, I didn’t want to jinx anything, but just in case…” She smiled brightly, giving Aidan a quick kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry, we’ve got this in hand. Kade’s already told us the friends he wants to catch up with. We’ll keep him busy and happy.”

They would, I could see that. They had this healthy, happy family, and I was bloody lucky to be a part of it, but seeing them walk out that door clawed at my heart. And of course, my mates realised that, as they came closer and stroked my arm.

“Now, Flick, before we leave you in peace, some negotiations need to be hammered out,” Ophelia said.

“You have your mates. For some women, that’s who they wish to exhaust their first heat with.

It’s a vulnerable, overwhelming time. You’ve also voiced an interest in exploring things with Sen and Snowy. ”

My eyes were drawn to the other men as if tugged that way, Ophelia’s words fading out as I inspected them, one pale, one bronzed. Snowy fidgeted under my gaze, but Sen met it head on, as if he longed for its touch and more.

“Flick?”

Everyone kept saying my damn name.

“Sen stays, Snowy…” My lips pulled away from my teeth.

“You’re something I’d like to taste.” The pale eyes flicked up at that, and there was something almost prey-like in his reaction.

But then he smirked. “But not yet. There’s an unused room in the house.

You can stay there, in case I want you or?—”

“Done,” he said. “I’ll have my bunk mates send over a bag and leave it in the driveway. That OK?”

I nodded, eyes narrowing as I felt the urge to replace that smile with something else altogether.

“You’re not to approach Flick unless she says it’s OK. The fridge and cupboards are well stocked. You’ll not need anything,” Ophelia told him sternly, which had him dropping his head and nodding.

“Sen, your place here is provisional on Flick’s approval. If she decides you’re out, you’re out.”

“Got that loud and clear,” he replied, but he didn’t look at the alpha. His eyes were only for me, and he looked like he was dying to cross the floor and strip me naked. And I wanted him to, my mind wondering how that intense touch of his would feel so much lower.

“Well, there’s only this to give you.”

I heard a choked cry from Aidan, and my eyes swivelled around to see a very large bag branded with a high-end sex shop’s logo on the side. It bulged with boxes and what looked like several kilos of silicone sex toys.

“Fuck, Mum…” Aidan groaned.

“Yes, your mother wanted your first heat to be its best,” Ophelia said, holding the bag out to Aidan, but he just backed away from it.

“I’ll take it,” Peter said, pulling out a few phallic objects and waving them at my mate. “What was your mum thinking was gonna happen tonight?”

“I don’t want to know. Take it away. It scares me.”

“This might,” Peter replied, pulling out a little cat o’ nine tails. He was grinning, but all our smiles faded when he gave it a short flick, the cracking sound filling the air. This was followed by a short whine from Snowy.

“We’ve got this,” Sen said, walking over and taking the bag, then putting his hand on me. He noted my every reaction as soon as his fingers touched me like he needed it.

“Well, Flick, call me if you need me,” Ophelia said, but even an alpha knew when to make a hasty retreat.

“Got any lube in there?” Snowy asked, ignoring the silent snarls of the guys to dig through the bag and retrieve several items, the lube only one of them.

He hefted a reasonable-sized butt plug in his hand, then looked up at me and gave me a lightning quick smile.

That soon gave way to a heavily hooded gaze as he looked at me like I was a well-oiled supermodel, ready for a full body massage.

“Call me if they get too tired to see to you. Seriously, bring me in.”

And just when the guys were going to launch themselves at him, he turned on his heel, seeming to know where the spare room was without being shown. He opened the door, shot me a glance over his shoulder, and then shut it on us with a click.

Which left just us three.

It was hard to describe how this went. Nothing in my life had prepared me for it.

The level of freedom… For as long as this lasted, I had the run of the house and them…

My body swayed with that realisation. I’d effectively been a single parent with Kade, though worse, because I had to protect him from the person I shared a house with, so this was an odd feeling.

‘Mother’ hadn’t been my label, it was my life, and now I was going to put that to one side for a little while.

I wasn’t sure what I expected when they all filed into the room.

To start stripping off, to crowd closer maybe?

Instead, they each took up position around the room, waiting.

The quiet brought it all to the fore—the biting need in my skin, the low simmering fire in my pelvis, waiting for the tiniest spark to flare to life.

And they wanted to be that spark. They watched me for any sign, any little movement that would make it OK to come forward.

I admired that restraint, it made me feel safe, but I also despaired of it.

So much of my sexual experiences before coming here had been me on the receiving end—of their need, their desire. Now I was left alone with mine.

My hand went to the top button of my shirt, pulling a tiny groan from Sen.

I glanced at each one of them, and they nodded.

Peter was the closest. Once I started walking towards him, I knew that was what I wanted, feeling better and more confident the closer I got.

He opened his arms for me, letting me settle against his chest, raise my head, and breathe in deep lungfuls of him.

That woody, musky scent of his clouded my mind, bringing that same snake-like languor to my body.

I curled my arm up around his neck and brought his head down.

He tasted sweet and dark, like the rum and Coke he’d been drinking, and my lips parted, mouth opening wide, wanting to take as much of him as I could inside me.

“Flick?” he said when he pulled back, placing a hand on my hip. I grabbed it impatiently, pushing it up under my shirt to the sound of his groan.

“Fuck…” he gasped. “You’re so hot.”

“Slide her shirt up, brother. Show us what we’ve been waiting to see.”

My eyes flicked open to see Aidan and Sen had come closer, shifting like animals before the hunt.

“Just one button,” Sen pleaded, his eyes watching every move of Peter’s hand.

“This button?” Peter asked, teasing the small plastic disc with his finger, then sliding it through the gap in the shirt to my bare skin below.

“Fuuuck…” Aidan said. “We don’t need to string it out. We’ll be crawling the walls for the next week. Babe, let's get you naked, and I’ll make you feel so fucking good.”

“What do you think, Flick? You ready for this?”

I didn’t allow myself to think too much about that. My Tirian was right—my monkey brain would just get in the way. Instead, I did the exercises Ophelia had prescribed me, taking one deep breath, then another, and bringing my focus to the now.