Page 49 of The Compass Series

JAX

K ennedy refused to leave my side throughout all of my hardships. She stayed during my darkest moments, and promised she wasn’t going to go anywhere without me. Day by day, she opened up my heart, and she didn’t seem afraid by what she saw.

When it came time for some deeper healing, I knew exactly where I had to go.

“Well, I’ll be. I’ll admit when I saw your name on my schedule, I thought it was a typo,” Eddie said as I walked into his office.

I snickered a little and took my very familiar seat across from his desk.

“Yeah, well, what can I say? I like to keep people on their toes.” It had been a few weeks since Derek came into town and I was still trying to deal with the truths he revealed to me.

Each day came with its own struggles and I had gone through every emotion out there, but I didn’t have to deal with them alone anymore.

I didn’t have to feel what I felt in the dark, because Kennedy was there to be my light.

Truthfully, I had a whole team around me to help guide me home whenever I started to slip away, and that included my therapy appointments with Eddie.

If anything, I learned what it meant to conquer ones demons.

It wasn’t something you did, and then it magically disappeared forever.

No, life was determined to throw shit your way, no matter how hard you tried to stay in the realm of happiness.

But I’d discovered quickly how important it was to learn to fight back.

That was the thing about storms. When you were in the middle of them, they felt so powerful.

They felt as if they were driving your life, and you were left with no control over the way the winds blew you.

That was why it was so important to have a core group of love surrounding you at all times.

When you faced the storms together, when you held the hands of the ones you loved, and stood steady, the storms had a harder time pushing you over.

The storms didn’t blow you away because you were linked to the world with love, the most powerful weapon that could be used during the mightiest of storms.

And when the storm passed? You were left standing with the ones you loved, staring out at the rainbows. Kennedy was what grounded me. Her hand in my hand kept me still, and with her love, I survived the hardest of my storms.

Eddie and I spoke for a while. We went over my allotted time, but he didn’t seem to mind, and when it came time for me to leave, he sat back in his chair, staring at me with tears in his eyes.

I snickered. “Are you getting emotional on me, Doc?”

“It’s just…” He cleared his throat, took off his glasses, and wiped at his eyes. “This is good. This is amazing, Jax. It’s been an honor to watch you become the man you are today. You are the definition of healing. You put in the work, and it shows.”

I felt it, too. I felt the healing, felt myself becoming whole again.

I called Derek down to Havenbarrow, telling him I needed to go over some paperwork about transferring the property over to me. Even though that wasn’t the real reason I called him. I figured it was time we truly talked over everything that happened.

When he arrived at the house, he looked broken down and full of guilt. Before he could let another apology slip through his lips, I told him not to say it.

“Just come inside,” I told him, heading into the house. He followed behind me.

The moment he stepped into the living room, he paused and raised an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”

Around the space were cans of paint and materials to fix the house up.

I sat down on the couch across from him and clasped my hands together.

“I’m tired of hard stuff. I’m tired of trying to figure out why you did what you did, and how my life could have been different if you told the truth.

I’m tired of trying to hate you. I’m tired of feeling bad for you and the shit you’ve been carrying on your shoulders.

I’m tired of the past, Derek. So, I’m fixing up the holes around this place.

I’m removing all the memories of what Dad did to me.

I’m filling up the holes that remind me of everything that happened before, and I want you to help me. ”

He cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Jax.”

“Yeah, I know, but I will someday. It will take a bit of time. For now, I just need your help painting these walls.”

We didn’t have to figure everything out right then and there.

We didn’t have to hug and make up with one another.

We didn’t have to fix our scars because they were still badly bruised, but we could paint together.

We could cover up the past and bring about a brighter future.

Healing came in waves, and I was willing to ride this one out.

A week later, Derek headed back to Chicago. We left on decent terms, that I figured would only get better. You could only go up from rock bottom. Yet, I also knew it would take more than a week of drywalling to fix our problems.

After he left, I headed to Kennedy’s house one Sunday afternoon.

She was off having a spa day with Yoana, which was at my request. When I stepped into her back yard, Connor was putting the finishing touches on our landscaping design.

We’d hung fairy lights the night before, and now that the night sky was approaching, everything was beginning to light up perfectly.

Kennedy hadn’t seen anything yet, because I wanted the yard to be the biggest surprise.

I wanted to be there when she witnessed the completed picture.

In the trees hung paper butterflies, her daughter’s favorite. In the bushes bubble machines were going nonstop, and on the left side of the fence was a field of daisies beneath a sign that read Daisy’s Flowers with a backward D.

Connor walked over and patted me on the back. “Are you happy with how it turned out, boss?”

I smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “It’s everything and more, partner.”

Connor looked up at me and grinned ear to ear. The truth of the story was, that kid had been the best partner I could’ve ever asked for. His humor and kindness had probably saved me on the hardest days of my life. I was thankful to be able to know someone like him.

“Promise me you won’t forget me when you become a millionaire, Con?” I asked.

“Don’t be silly, Jax.” He shook his head. “I’m going to be a billionaire . I’ll probably end up buying your business out from under you, but I’ll cut you a nice check.”

I snickered. Sounded about right.

“You guys, get ready, get ready,” Joy said, hurrying to the back yard. “Yoana and Kennedy are on their way back.”

My stomach was in knots, and I couldn’t help but laugh as I saw Yoana round the corner, guiding a blindfolded Kennedy.

“Why am I having a strong case of déjà vu?” Kennedy laughed. “Yoana, I already know what the house looks like. Is the blindfold really necessary?”

“It is,” I told her.

Kennedy stood straighter. “Jax?” she questioned. “What are you doing here?”

“We wanted to surprise you with the finished back yard.” I walked over to her and kissed her lips. “Are you ready?”

“I am!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

“Okay, and just remember, if you hate it, Connor did it,” I joked. I took the blindfold off Kennedy’s eyes, and she gasped upon seeing everything around her.

“Oh my gosh.” She teared up, looking around.

When she looked at the trees and saw the butterflies, the tears began to fall.

Then they began rushing down her cheeks as she saw the sign, and they never finished falling.

Yoana cried from her sister’s emotions, and hell, I almost teared up too, because seeing Kennedy happy made my heart soar.

“Do you like it?” I asked.

“Like it? Jax, it’s everything and more. I never imagined something so beautiful. This is more than I could’ve ever imagined.”

I took her hand into mine and led her around. “Come on, let me show you.” I pointed out all the little details she probably didn’t even care to know about, but I was excited, and nervous, and fuck, it was hard to breathe.

I led her over to the bed of daisies and pointed down at the flowers. “These are special daisies. Rumor has it some are great at growing objects within them.”

She laughed. “What does that even mean?”

“Just look closely and see if you can figure it out.”

She narrowed her eyes at me then lowered herself down. She began looking through the flowers for whatever it was she was meant to find. “There’s nothing here,” she said, confused.

“That’s because I already picked it out of the bunch,” I said.

She turned around to find me down on one knee with a daisy in my hand. On top of said flower was a diamond ring, waiting for her finger to wear it.

Kennedy’s hand flew to her lips, and she let out a small gasp. “Jax…”

“Kennedy, the first time I saw you, I knew you were special. Sure, a little weird, but that was what made me fall in love with you.” She giggled through her shaky hands.

“You are the definition of powerful. You are the brightest part of my day. Your love heals the cracks in my heart that I thought were doomed to be broken forever. You are my best friend, my soul mate, and my favorite flower, and if you allow me to do so, I’d love to be the one to make you smile for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” she cried, pulling me up from the ground. She began planting kisses all over my face, making me laugh.

“You have to let me put the ring on, I think,” I joked.

“Oh, right! Of course.” She held her hand out, and everyone cheered around us. I couldn’t believe how my life had changed. It felt as if all the pieces were placed back together and the storm had finally passed to bring about better days.

I knew life would have its troubles, but I also knew I’d be okay because I was surrounded by love, by friendship, by Kennedy. She was my sun, I was her moon, and for the rest of our lives, we’d remember to dance in the rain.