Page 187 of The Compass Series

AIDEN

A s Hailee and I pulled up to our houses, we had a nice surprise waiting. Two sets of parents sitting on their front porches with looks of annoyance plastered on their faces.

“Oh boy. Do you think we got caught?” Hailee asked.

I put the car in park. “Judging by the way my father’s nose is flaring, all signs point to yes.”

Hailee tilted her head toward me with a big smile on her face. “We are about to be grounded for life.”

“Yep.”

“Worth it?”

I laid my head against the headrest and grinned.

“Worth it.” I squeezed her hand before we both climbed out to face our punishments.

We went our separate ways, and even though I knew Hailee’s parents might’ve been a little tough on her, I was certain my father would take the cake on the rage factor.

I already felt my panic rising as I walked over to my parents. “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.”

“Don’t ‘hey, Dad’ me. Why weren’t you at school today?”

“I…um, well…” I stuttered, feeling like an idiot because finding words always seemed hard whenever I was confronted by my father. “We, uh?—”

“Spit it out,” he ordered.

“Maybe we should move this inside,” Mom said, walking over to me. She glanced down the street at our nosy neighbors. Then she placed a hand on Dad’s shoulder. “Inside, Sam.”

He grumbled, and the three of us walked into the house.

I rubbed the back of my neck. “How did you even find out?”

He pulled out his cell phone and held it in front of our faces.

“It turns out when your son is a celebrity, people take videos of him and post them all over social media. Plus, news flash, if your kid is missing from one period, the school calls and notifies the parent,” Dad barked, his veins popping out of his neck.

His irritation was high, and my unease grew with each passing second.

I shouldn’t have gone to the movies that day.

Even though it was the best day of my life.

Even though I felt free for the first time in a long time.

Even though I was in love with Hailee Jones, and she loved me, too.

Holy shit, she loved me, too.

Still, I shouldn’t have gone because I let him down.

“Plus, what about that audition you were supposed to film and submit last night?” he asked me.

Oh, crap. I forgot about that. I scratched at my hair and muttered an apology. I felt sweat building at the brim of my forehead. My mouth parted to speak, but no sounds were produced. I felt frozen in a sea of anxiety, unsure of what to do or say next.

Mom noticed my panic and placed a gentle hand on my arm. “Go to your room. Your father and I will discuss your punishment, and we will go from there.”

“You’re being too easy on him,” Dad warned.

Mom shot him a harsh look. “And you’re being too cruel.” She turned to me. “Your room. Now.”

I did as she said. I went to the bathroom and let out a heavy sigh as my panic attack escaped from my chest where it had been sitting.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” I repeatedly told myself as my heart pounded against my chest as if it were trying to escape.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” I said again, trying to add calmness to the wildness of my thoughts.

Dad looked at me as if he hated me. He stared as if I was the biggest disappointment in his life.

How did I forget to send that audition in?

How did I drop that ball? He was going to be so pissed at me for that.

I was trying my best to be what he wanted me to be.

I was trying my best not to let him down.

But today… I needed today. I needed to feel like I could be me for a little while and not who my father wanted me to be—him.

I splashed water on my face, feeling on the verge of vomiting.

I hated how shaky my body felt as the panic rippled through my nervous system.

I hated how it felt as if every inch of me was seconds away from shutting down.

I hated how my mother could see how close I was to the edge and pull me back, but my father didn’t notice my struggles. He couldn’t see me.

He can’t see me.

He only saw what he wished to see, and whenever I shifted his perspective of being his perfect son, his disappointment made me want to fade into the void of life.

“What’s the verdict?” I asked Mom after she knocked on my door and came into my bedroom. I’d been sitting on my bed, waiting to hear the outcome of the day. She and Dad had been talking for the past forty-five minutes about me, and I turned my music up to tune it out.

“Three weeks grounded. Unless you have an audition coming up and need to travel. Outside of that, you go to school and then come home.”

“Fair enough.”

She walked over to my bed and took a seat beside me. “It’s not like you to lie and skip school like that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“It was on Hailee’s and my bucket list.”

Mom smiled a little. “Tom and Jerry being Tom and Jerry, huh?”

I scrunched up my nose. “I told her I had feelings for her today,” I mentioned.

Her eyes widened, but she didn’t seem too surprised. “And she…?”

“Feels the same way.”

She smiled. “Took you two long enough to figure that out.”

“Wait, you knew?”

“I’m your mother, Aiden.” She kissed my forehead. “I know everything.”

“Dad’s not going to forgive me for this, is he?”

“Your father will get over it. He’s just in a mood right now. I’m not worried about that, though. I’m worried about you, Aiden. I see how hard you’re working to keep your father happy, but I just don’t know if you’re happy.”

“I’m okay,” I lied.

“Aiden Scott Walters. Try again.”

“I needed a break. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed and saw a way to escape for a few hours with a girl I really like. It was stupid, but?—”

“You had fun.”

I nodded.

She leaned in and smiled. “Good. You deserve more of that.”

“You’re not mad at me like Dad is?”

“Mostly, I’m mad at myself for not creating a space where you felt as if you could come and tell me these things.

I’m upset with your father for being so stern with you.

We’ll do better, Aiden. Your mental health is important, and I see that.

I don’t want you to slip into a dark place where you feel like you can’t share these things with me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Next time you need a break, let me know. I can write you a get-out-of-school-free pass.”

“Dad won’t like that.”

“Luckily, he doesn’t make all the rules in this house.” She narrowed her stare. “He gets to you more than I realized. I’m sorry, A. I’ll talk to him. But do know, you being upfront with your feelings to us will help avoid these outcomes. Honesty is best even when it’s hard, okay?”

“Okay.”

Before she left, she kissed my forehead. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

She tossed a few extra “I love yous” into the mix because I think she knew I needed it that evening. I gave her four “I love yous” back because she deserved every single one.

I closed my bedroom door and walked over to my window. After I climbed out, I walked over to Hailee’s and knocked two times. She came over and smiled. She climbed out of the window and then sat on the ledge. “Are you grounded, too?”

“Three weeks. You?”

“Four!” she exclaimed. “Until Thanksgiving.”

“Our parents are dramatic. It’s not like we skipped school, drove a car to a different city, and hid it from them or something,” I joked, sitting beside her. She didn’t laugh at my stupid joke, so I nudged her arm. “You okay?”

“I’m in love with you,” she blurted out, almost sounding upset about it.

“Yeah. I thought we came to that conclusion already today.”

She turned to face me a little more and sighed. “No, Aiden. I mean, I love you a lot, and now you’re saying you love me back, and that’s scary.”

“How is that scary? I thought two people loving each other was a good thing.”

“It is for most, but you’re my best friend.”

“Which makes it even better.”

“Or worse. We should make pie charts of the pros and cons of us dating.”

“We aren’t making pie charts.”

“What if we don’t work out as a relationship?”

“Then we’ll go back to being friends.”

“What if it’s a messy breakup?”

I snickered. “Why are we already talking about breakups before we’ve even gotten to the dating part?”

“Because we have to think this out.”

“Or we can just let it happen.” I took her hand into mine and led us to the grass, where we sat.

“Why aren’t you overthinking this like me? Why aren’t you freaked out?”

“Because I know this is right. Because I know we were always supposed to get to this point. Because you’re you, and I’m me, and we’ve always made sense.

Because I know it can only get better from here.

If I can love you this much as a friend, I can only imagine how much love I can have when I’m yours. Plus, I promise I won’t do it.”

“Do what?”

“Break your heart.”

“I promise I won’t break yours either,” I swore.

He smiled. “I know, Jerry.”

“How do you even like to be loved, though?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I was hoping you could show me.”

She smiled and took my hands into hers. We sat between the houses with the stars perched above us in the sky. My heart pounded wildly against my chest as I stared at our embraced hands.

“This is nice?” I questioned in a whisper.

“This is nice,” she replied.

I pulled her hands up to my mouth and kissed her palms. “This is nice?”

“This is nice,” she agreed.

I bit my bottom lip and inched my body closer to hers. My mouth grazed against hers. “This is nice?” I asked.

“This is nice.” I went to lift her onto my lap, and she paused. “Wait, no. I’m too big for that,” she said. I saw it, too, the quickness of her insecurities hitting her stare.

I ignored her as I settled her onto my lap, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. She hovered over me, not placing all her weight against mine.

“Hailee?”

“Yes.”

“Sit.”

“But—”

“Butt.” I moved my hands to her hips and yanked her down a little. The shyness hit her cheeks, but she relaxed against me. It felt like the missing piece of my favorite puzzle sliding into its rightful place.

I placed my forehead against hers as I wrapped my arms around her waist. “This is mine?” I asked so quietly as our mouths rested against one another.

She nodded. “This is yours.”

I kissed her so slowly, and every inch of me felt it.

Her eyes began to water as we crossed the barrier into a new territory with one another.

The invisible lines between friends and lovers began to somehow tangle.

We didn’t have to lose one for the other.

We could create our own story where we loved one another both within our friendship and within this newfound relationship.

Maybe that’s why it would work for us. Maybe the best love was the kind built with the strongest friendship.

One kiss sealed the deal.

She was mine, and I was hers, and it felt so good that I had to kiss her again.

·Have your first kiss

·Both get into a relationship

Felt good to cross those off our list. I couldn’t think of a person I’d rather share that task with, either.

She laid her head against my shoulder. “I think I’m going to like this.”

“Like what?”

“Being loved by you.”