Page 166 of The Compass Series

I see how hard you work to get the approval of others. I see how you push your emotions to the side because you believe that if you were your full self, you’d become unlovable, but Stella, you are the definition of love. You are the reason people believe in happily ever afters.

When I realized that I loved your mother, it was too late.

I was preparing to leave Catherine the first time we were together, but then the accident happened with Sophie.

I was going to tell her everything. I was going to give her all the words she truly deserved to hear.

Yet, I was too much of a coward to put myself out there in fear that she didn’t feel the same way.

I was afraid if I told her of my love, there was a chance that I’d lose my best friend, along with you.

Never telling your mother I loved her was the greatest regret of my life.

I was so afraid of what would happen tomorrow if she didn’t love me back, and I hate that it has taken me so long to realize that that isn’t why we love.

We don’t love for tomorrow; we love for today.

For this moment, right here and right now.

We love because it’s the easiest, and scariest thing we could ever do.

So I made this arrangement for you to marry my son, Damian.

The son I was never given the chance to know.

The son I’ve learned has a good heart, even though it can appear a bit cold.

I wanted you to be around him because I figured he could help you learn to feel your real emotions.

I also figured you were the closest thing to me, and that maybe through him getting to know you, he’d be able to learn a little bit about how I would’ve loved him.

The greatest parts of me live within you, Stella Maple.

I don’t know what will happen with you and Damian, but I hope it works out.

I hope you find yourself surrounded by such real love that you can’t help but allow it in.

I hope you discover yourself and heal from the damage I may have caused.

Hell, Stella, I hope you break up with that jackass of a boyfriend who isn’t anywhere near good enough for you.

But mostly, I hope you don’t give up on love—even when it frightens you.

You deserve it most.

I love you like the ocean. Deep, and full.

I’m sorry it took me so long to hear it, but I can hear your mother when I listen to the waves.

She’s always been here, and now I’ll join her.

When you feel the waves, I hope you’re able to feel me, too.

Always,

Dad

I wiped my tears away and read his words over and over again.

Don’t give up on love. Even when it frightens you.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Damian. I couldn’t stop longing for his touch, his eyes, him.

It didn’t take me long to find myself in my car, driving down to his office, because I knew I couldn’t let another day pass without holding him close to me.

I’d never been to his office before and I didn’t know the receptionist, but when I walked in, he smiled largely.

“Hey. You’re Stella, right?” he asked, looking up toward me.

“Yes. I’m sorry. How did you know…?”

“Oh, sorry. I’m Peter. We haven’t met, but Damian has talked a lot about you. Your artwork is amazing.”

“My artwork? You’ve seen it?”

“Yeah, every day. It’s all over Damian’s office.”

“What? Can I see it?”

“Of course. I doubt he’d mind. Follow me.

” Peter stood from his desk and led me to Damian’s office.

When I walked inside, I gasped, seeing five pieces of my artwork hanging on Damian’s walls from my gallery night months before.

On his desk sat business cards for me, too, that he had made up to give out to clients who came into his office.

I was starting to think I knew exactly where all my commission projects came from.

“You’re outstanding. You’re working on a piece for me currently. I’m Peter Simmons. We’ve been emailing back and forth for a while,” he said. “That was Damian’s Christmas gift to all of his employees—custom pieces from you.”

“How many people work for Damian?”

“Just five of us.”

Five. As in the five commission pieces I’d received in one day months ago.

“Is he here? I have to talk to him,” I said, feeling my hands shake from nervousness.

“I’m sorry, Stella, he’s not here. He’s actually at his gallery.”

“His gallery?”

“Yeah. He told me about his photography and pulled together a showcase to share his work. I was on my way there now. It’s the last night.”

“Do you think maybe I could join you?” I asked.

He smiled. “Of course. I would not mind at all, and I doubt he would either. Let’s go.”

I followed Peter’s car as I drove my own and felt the butterflies sitting heavily in the pit of my stomach. He did it? He actually put together his own show?

I was so proud of him and angry with myself for almost missing such an experience.

Stupid, stupid girl afraid of losing love.

I was so afraid that I chose to throw away the best thing that had ever happened to me.

As I pulled up to the building, my heart skipped a few beats as I stared at the sign over the door for the showcase.

Cinderstella—A Romantic Comedy.

Oh my goodness…

I climbed out of the car and stood in front of the building, awestruck as I stared at the sign.

Peter stepped beside me and smiled. “Pretty neat, huh?”

“How did he pull this together so quickly?”

“He didn’t. He’s been telling me about this idea for months now. He had this sign ordered back in February. He told me he never wanted to showcase his work because he never had a good enough subject to show off. Then he found you.”

I couldn’t produce any words. I couldn’t fathom what I’d done by pulling away from Damian for the past few weeks when this was who he truly had always been. Damian Blackstone was the definition of love—and he was in love with me.

I hoped, at least.

I couldn’t blame him if he wasn’t anymore.

We walked inside the building, and I gasped as I witnessed photographs of Damian’s work mixed in with Kevin’s photography of me.

There were photos of me as a child, of my mother being pregnant with me, of me laughing.

Of me dancing in the ocean. Images of me holding my stomach when I didn’t know I was being photographed.

Pictures of me being goofy with Damian. Photographs of us, of our story, of love.

I was on the verge of tears staring at each photograph and reading the commentary beside each piece. Damian’s words about me were enough to make the tears fall. As I stood in front of a photograph of me laughing with a blueberry scone in my hand, I read the words beside it.

Beauty in its truest form.

“It’s true,” a voice said from behind me. I turned to see Damian standing there, dressed in a black suit, looking perfect beyond words. “You are beauty in its truest form.”

My lips parted, but no words came out at first. I tried again, and it cracked. I tried once more but found myself flying into Damian’s arms instead.

He welcomed me, too. He welcomed me into his arms, into his embrace without a moment of hesitation. He wrapped me up against him, allowing me to melt against his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I pushed you away because I was afraid of letting you in even more. Because I feared losing you, but I need you, Damian. I need you more than words can express. And I understand if you aren’t okay with coming back after what I’ve done.

But I just need you to know I love you more than I’ve ever loved another and?—”

“Stella?”

“Yes?”

He placed his hands around my face and lifted my head to find his blue eyes.

Ocean blues…

Waves of peace…

“I love you, too.”

I never understood grief completely. I never understood that having grief was a sign that you were able to love so deeply.

It was truly amazing that a heart could still beat after you’d lost your loved ones.

But that heart still had love within it, and it searched for any and every way to still feel after your loved one was gone.

Even if the feelings you felt were pain.

I was now learning that any feeling that encircled love was worth feeling. Even the hard emotions because it was a reminder of how real, and how deep love could be.

Grief was hard, but coming out of it was the greatest gift because you looked at the world in a different way.

It wasn’t about the happily ever after. It was about the happily ever now.

Right then and there. It was about living in the moment and celebrating the joy of each day.

Real love happened in the present tense, not in the past or future.

It happened in every single passing second. It happened every time I was near him.

Damian was it for me. He was the promise of love that I had been searching my whole life to discover. He was the happy days and the sad. The beauty and the pain. The ups and the downs. Damian Blackstone was my world. My biggest and greatest universal blessing.