Page 105 of The Compass Series

AALIYAH

M y blood pressure plummeted quickly at Marie’s home.

I was rushed to the hospital and put on oxygen.

Each breath felt exhausting to take. Once Dr. Erickson found out about my condition, he showed up to the hospital to check in on me.

The paleness on his face showed me how dire my situation had become.

Then again, I didn’t need him to tell me what I already knew, what my exhausted heart had been telling me for so long.

I was dying.

Marie tried to visit me, but I refused to grant permission to see her. I wasn’t ready to deal with her when I was trying to come to the realization that my life was ending.

I wasn’t leaving the hospital, and I knew that for a fact. Not in my condition. A full day passed as I was being monitored. The room felt so cold as doctors and nurses filtered in and out of the space. They pricked me with needles and watched my numbers, making sure I was still stable.

I felt tired all the time.

All I wanted to do was sleep.

All I wanted to do was close my eyes and make the pain go away.

To my surprise, on day two of my stay in the hospital, I had a visitor. One I’d never expected to be standing in my doorway.

“Damian. What are you doing here?” I asked as he walked into my room. He looked down and somber as he always did. “How did you know I was here?”

“I’m pretty good at finding things out. Can I come in?”

“Sure, but…I’m confused as to why you’re here.” It was no secret that Damian and I weren’t close. We’d only crossed paths a handful of times.

“I’m here on behalf of Connor,” he said flatly.

“I don’t understand.”

“He loves you. You probably don’t want him here because he hurt you. But I’m here because he loves you, and he wouldn’t want you to be alone, so I’m going to sit here.”

“Thi-is is crazy,” I breathed out, fatigued. Exhausted.

“Yeah, well, I hear love can make situations a bit crazy.” He scratched at the stubble on his chin. “You need to give him another shot.”

“Damian—”

“Listen, I’m not here to stress you out or anything.

Clearly, you’re going through some serious shit.

But I just needed to say that. I get it.

I grew up in the foster system, too. I got a lot of jaded thoughts about people and trust issues.

I have abandonment issues that I can’t even begin to express, but Connor isn’t the bad guy, Aaliyah. The rest of this fucked up world is.”

“I don’t know…”

“I get it. You’re hurt. Be hurt. But then, give him another chance.”

“It’s not that easy, Damian.”

“It has to be. Because this is personal to me.”

“How so?”

He clasped his hands together and leaned forward. “You saved me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You saved my life. About two years ago now, I was at my lowest point. I was thinking about ending my life. I felt lost and alone. I had nobody who gave a shit about me, and I sure as fuck didn’t give a fuck about myself, so I figured what was the point.

Then out of nowhere this goofy-ass guy with bad jokes came into my life and kept hammering at me to open up to him.

He wouldn’t let up, either. He kept pushing me with his sunshine and corny persona to get me to let him in.

After all that work, I asked him why it was so important to him.

He told me he met Little Red Riding Hood, and she changed his life for the better.

“He wanted to be able to do the same for someone else. If you never existed…if you never changed Connor’s life, he would’ve never changed mine.

I wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for you, Aaliyah.

You brought someone into my life who believed that my life was worth living.

Someone who gave me a shot to make something of myself when the rest of the world ignored me.

So, understand me when I say this is personal to me. ”

His words soaked deep into my soul. I hardly could believe what he was sharing with me, but then again, I could because that was the type of person Connor was—he helped people. Still, I was scared of letting him back in.

“Have you ever been in love, Damian?”

“No,” he quickly replied. “But I’d be damned if I ran from it when it came to me. People like us don’t get the happy beginnings, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get the happy endings.”

I knew Damian coming to speak to me was a big deal. Damian didn’t often speak to anyone. Every time I crossed paths with him, he only offered up a few almost smiles here and there before he’d go back to minding his own business and living solely in his thoughts.

“Aaliyah,” Damian said, stepping a bit closer to me. “Don’t do this.”

Even though he looked so tough all the time, so hard and cold, his eyes were currently washed over with empathy. With care. Every piece of him at that moment felt like a warmth I hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“Don’t do what?”

“Run away from something good because you’re afraid that someday that person will run away first. Connor’s not a runner.

Yeah, he fucked up and hesitated, but fuck, he’s human.

He spent his whole childhood thinking his mother was going to die.

Then when he found out you were sick, he fell into the old thought process that had haunted him for so many years.

He’s scared, Aaliyah. The guy is fucking terrified of losing you, but he wasn’t going to run. He just stumbled a little.”

“I know how hard it is for him, Damian. Truly. I get it. That’s why I can’t do this to him.”

He looked at me confused. “What?”

“I’m dying, Damian. I know I don’t have long, and I don’t want to put him through that. I don’t want him to have to watch me suffer because it will break his heart.”

“You’re sitting here worrying about his heart breaking when yours is literally falling apart. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. He should be here.”

“I can’t do that to him…I’m sorry, Damian. I can’t have him watch me die.”

Damian’s brows knitted as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he sat down in a chair.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Sitting.”

“Why?”

“So you aren’t alone.”

“Dam—”

“I get it. You want to protect him from hurting. It’s noble.

Stupid as fuck if you ask me, but noble.

But that doesn’t mean you deserve to be alone.

If you’re dying, you’re dying. It’s shitty, and it’s scary and fucked-up because I could name a million people who deserve to die more than you do.

The world is a messed-up place, and it shits on good people.

I’m sorry it’s doing this to you, Aaliyah, but you’re not going to do this shit alone.

All right? I’m going to sit here and,” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a comic book.

“I’m going to read you comics because that’s what Connor would do. ”

“Damian. You don’t have to stay here. Really. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not, and that’s okay. I don’t need you to be fine. I just need you to let me read to you right now, so you’re not alone.”

“Loo—”

“Aaliyah,” he said with a controlled, deep tone. “Just listen.”

I sighed, and I did as he said.

Before he could start reading, a familiar face came darting into the room. Marie appeared dazed and full of worry.

“Oh, my goodness, Aaliyah. Are you okay?” she breathed out.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, sitting up a bit, feeling nauseous the moment she stepped inside my room.

“Well, after the ambulance brought you in, I had to gather my things and I had a heck of a time trying to get them to allow me in to see you. And since I am the designated support person for you?—”

“You have a lot of fucking nerve, lady,” Damian snapped, shooting her a look good enough to kill.

“What are you even doing here? This has nothing to do with you,” Marie replied.

“No. It has nothing to do with you,” I said.

Marie’s brown eyes locked with mine. They were packed with sadness, and I hated her eyes in that moment because they reminded me so much of my own.

How didn’t I see it before?

“Aaliyah. I understand you being angry with me, but these are the rules that the transplant coordinator shared with us. You must have a caregiver afterward. Without me, you don’t get your transplant if one comes available. You need me.”

“I do—don’t,” I said, taking deep inhalations. “Need you.”

“Yes, sweetheart. You do,” she disagreed.

“How about you not call her sweetheart. It’s condescending,” Damian ordered like a protective pit bull.

“How about you mind your own business?” Marie sneered.

“My brother is in love with this woman, which in turn makes it my business,” he said without a tremble in his tone. “And clearly she doesn’t want you here, or as her designated support person, so you might as well leave.”

“She has no one else,” Marie said.

“That’s not true. She has me. If she’d like, that is.” Damian looked over to me for approval of his words. I bit my bottom lip and nodded. He looked back to Marie. “See? Your services are no longer needed.”

At this point, Marie was turning red with anger as she stared intensely at Damian.

“I don’t know who you think you are, young man, but I’ve been there for her for the past two years throughout her health scares.

I’ve taken care of her these past two years night and day, whenever she needed me.

I was there for her. I showed up to every hospital visit and every time she needed to cry, I was her shoulder.

I did that for two years; you have no clue how much I’ve put into this responsibility. ”

“Twenty-four,” he dryly replied.

Marie raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You should’ve been there for her for twenty-four years, not two.”

That statement hit Marie like a ton of bricks. She stumbled back a bit, shaken up. I felt the impact of Damian’s words, too, but stayed quiet.

What was there for me to say?

“Listen, lady, I’m not here to listen to your sob story about how your life didn’t go the way you wanted.

I’m here for Aaliyah and Connor. So, how about you stop adding stress to her life.

If you really give a damn about her, you’d go with me to shift the designated support person to me.

Then, you’d leave her alone,” Damian stated.

Marie looked at me, tears hitting her stare. “Is that what you want, Aaliyah?”

I nodded. “Y-yes.”

With complete defeat, Marie pushed her purse up her shoulder and turned back to Damian. “There will be paperwork to fill out.”

“I have a signature.”

She frowned. He grimaced.

Then they left to handle the business that needed to be handled.

Twenty-five days.

Damian showed up for twenty-five days straight to read to me, making sure I wasn’t alone.

He’d studied up on what it meant to be a support person, and he’d made plans to be by my side throughout it all.

Sometimes, I wanted to ask him how Connor had been doing, but I didn’t have the guts to push out the words.

I missed him too much to allow myself to ask.