Page 159 of The Compass Series

DAMIAN

I ’d only gone into the office when I was forced to or when I had clients to take to real estate properties.

Most of the time, I tried my best to work from home, but it wasn’t always a possibility.

When I showed up to my office one Thursday afternoon after showing properties all day, I realized I left my cell phone across town at one of the properties.

It would take me almost four hours to drive to and from the property.

Some days were shit. On top of that crappy situation, I was faced with three individuals showing up to my office that I didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with.

“What are you ladies doing here?” I asked Denise, Rosalina, and Catherine as they stepped into my office, uninvited.

“I’m sorry, Damian. I told them you were busy, but they crashed in,” Peter, my assistant, told me as he rushed in behind them.

“It’s fine, Peter. I got this,” I replied. I was almost certain he wouldn’t have been able to fight off the three trolls of Stella’s life.

Peter glanced at the women but then retreated.

I shifted in my chair and sat back, looking at the three of them with little emotion. “How can I help you, ladies? Be quick. I’m busy.”

“Who are you picking?” Denise spat out directly and to the point. “For the stepmother prize money.”

“Yes. It’s ridiculous that you’ve waited this long to tell us, especially after we’ve discovered you’ve been out with all three of us,” Rosalina agreed.

“Though, it’s not quite fair that my outing was cut short due to Stella,” Catherine grumbled. “She always had a way of ruining things.”

“You can say that again,” Denise echoed.

“I can only imagine the hell your life has been being forced to live with her,” Rosalina remarked. “Thankfully, this is almost over for you.”

My body tensed up as I sat straighter in my seat. “I’m glad you all brought Stella up. It makes it easier for me to announce the woman who is getting the money.”

“Do tell,” Denise ordered.

I clasped my hands together. “None of you.”

“What?!” they all snapped in unison.

“You cannot be serious,” Catherine said. “That wasn’t a part of the deal!”

“Actually, it was,” I remarked. “I went through the contract and will with Joe once I realized that none of you were worthy of a cent. It clearly states that if I didn’t find any of you three fit for the money, then it would be forfeited to charity.

” I pushed out a fake smile. “The children will thank you for your kind donation.”

“You asshole!” Denise remarked.

“You cannot do this,” Rosalina cried. “That was supposed to be mine!”

“Oh, please, Rosalina. As if you ever truly had a shot at the money! It was supposed to be mine!” Catherine remarked.

The three of them began to bicker like the annoying shits they’d been until I called them out about it. “Take your conversation elsewhere. I don’t have time for you all,” I said.

“Time for us all? You’re practically robbing us!” Denise shot out.

“Just like you all robbed Stella of her self-esteem? She never wanted anything from you ladies except your love. All you ever did, instead was break her down. Out of jealousy, out of spite. I don’t know your reasons, but I do know that all three of you are cruel and unworthy.

And I know for a fact that one of you is indeed my mother, but I truly don’t give a damn.

Because if you could be that evil to the love of my life, then I’d rather have nothing to do with you for the remainder of my time on this planet. Good day, ladies.”

They all turned to leave, but as Rosalina and Denise left, I called after Catherine. “Can I speak to you about your charity?” I asked.

She stood tall and cleared her throat. “What of it?”

“Can you close the door for a second?”

With hesitation, she agreed. She walked back toward my desk and took a seat across from me. She narrowed her eyes. “Are you giving me the money? And you just didn’t want the others to know?”

“No. Not at all. I meant what I said.”

“Oh.” She pouted. “Then what do you want from me?”

“What did she do to you, Catherine?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“What did Stella do that was so evil to you? You knew her, what? When she was five? Six? Then again in her teens? Please, by all means, tell me how she ruined your life.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Sounds like a cop-out.”

“Well, it’s not.”

“Or it is.”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“It’s not!”

“It is?—”

“He wanted us to be her!” Catherine finally snapped.

She tossed her hands up in frustration and let out a deep growl of annoyance.

“He wanted us all to somehow step into the shoes of Sophie. The woman who he talked about like she was the sun. Do you know how hard that is? To live up to the image of his dead best friend? To be compared to her by the way you did any and everything? When we first broke up, it was around the time Sophie had passed from the car accident. I figured Kevin was mourning. Then when we reconnected, it was the same thing. Sophie this, Sophie that, all the time.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I’m sorry, what does this have to do with Stella?”

She released a weighted sigh. “She has her smile,” she whispered, growing more somber.

“She has her heart. Stella was the world of his world, his sunlight, and everything always orbited around her with him. Because she was the carbon copy of the true love of his life. Do you know what that does to a person? Falling in love with a man who never truly had the ability to love you back the way you hoped for?”

“Catherine…”

“I just wanted to be her, you know?” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she showed more emotion than I’d witnessed from any three of the women. “I wanted to be his best friend. But that role skipped over me and went straight to Stella due to her association with Kevin’s truest of love.”

I didn’t know what to say.

It was clear that she was seconds away from falling apart.

I hated those parts of Stella—her goodness—were beginning to live within my soul because there was a tug at my heart for Catherine that would’ve never been there before.

“You know why I think he died?” Catherine asked.

I didn’t respond, but I didn’t think she was looking for words from me as she continued.

“Because he realized he’d never find her in anyone else.

He’d never find that true love in another.

He died because broken hearts can only remain shattered for so long before the beats just stop beating. ”

I grimaced. Sure, I felt a slight tug at my heart, but at the end of the day, I was still me.

Plus, Catherine’s words were still missing the point.

“It sounds like the whole situation had a lot more to do with adults who didn’t know how to process their own fucked-up emotions and less to do with a little girl who was tossed into that world.

Stella didn’t have shit to do with all your problems. She didn’t make Kevin fuck all you three women at the same time.

She didn’t force you to marry him. She didn’t make Kevin fall in love with her mother.

And she didn’t do anything to warrant the cruelty that the three of you monsters placed on her shoulders.

You fucked up a child’s mind and emotions because a man didn’t love you.

Don’t you see how pathetic that is? You should be embarrassed and ashamed that you took your insecurities out on her. ”

Her eyes showed me what I needed to see—I was getting to her.

“I’m not a monster,” she spat out.

“It wasn’t about you,” I told her.

“Excuse me?”

“Kevin’s inability to love you had nothing to do with the amount that you were loveable. His inability to love you was not due to your worth. It was due to his damage. It wasn’t personal.”

“Maybe not,” she said, shrugging her shoulders as she pushed her purse strap up her arm. “But it sure as hell felt like it.”

She turned to leave, and I felt a punch in the pit of my gut as I went on to ask her the same question I’d asked the other two women. “Catherine?”

“Yes?”

“Are you my mother?”

Her eyes blinked a few times as she tilted her head in surprise by the directness of my words.

She shook her head and let a small, sad smile slip out.

“Even if I were, would you really want a wicked mother like me?” she asked.

“Or like Denise or Rosalina? My advice for you? Stop trying to figure out who is your biological mother. Because sure, maybe they have your DNA, but at the end of the day, they’ll never be able to fill that gap in your chest. We will never live up to the idea of love that exists in your head.

Trust me, I know. So, find something else to fill that spot. ”

“I already did.”

“In Stella?”

“Yes. And you know what?”

“What’s that?”

“She loved you. Even though you could only see Sophie when you looked into her eyes, Stella saw you. Maybe in a way Kevin could not. She loved you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because that’s what Stella does. She loves.”

I saw it for a second. A flash of softness raced past Catherine’s eyes; a realization fell into her. “She wasn’t Sophie?”

I shook my head. “She wasn’t.”

She cleared her throat as more tears streamed down her cheeks. “I was cruel to her. Every time I was able to be, I was cruel to her.”

“And still, she loved you.”

She blinked, and when her eyes reappeared, I had no doubt it was her. I knew it was her. I knew out of all three of them, Catherine was the one who brought me into the world. Truthfully, I’d known for a while. I just had a hard time facing that fact.

“You’re my mother,” I told her. It wasn’t a question at this point, it was solely a fact.

“What? No, I…”

“It’s fine, Catherine. It’s okay.”

“No…I…” Tears fell from her eyes. “How did you…?”

“Many reasons, but mainly it was your charity. You opened a charity for foster kids, probably due to the guilt you felt for giving me up. You slightly flinched whenever the topic of my mother was brought up, unlike the other two. Your unease bled out through your body language. Then there’s the biggest thing. ”

“And that is?”

“I have your eyes.” I shifted a little. “But it’s all right. I forgive you.”

She sat straighter. “I didn’t ask for forgiveness.”

“Yeah, but I can’t hold onto this anger I felt toward you for all these years anymore. I’m letting this chapter go to create new ones with Stella. Plus, in the end, you taught me a great lesson.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I did?”

“Yes. You taught me that your inability to raise me had nothing to do with the amount that I was loveable. And your inability to love Stella was not due to her worth. It was due to your own demons. It wasn’t personal. Even though I spent my whole life thinking it was.”

She cleared her throat and stood up from her chair. Her lips parted as if she had more to say, but then she paused, and simply said, “Goodbye, Damian.”

“Goodbye,” I replied.

She walked out of my office, shutting the door behind her.

All the tension in my chest released as realization settled in that I’d just confronted my mother.

It took me a while of sitting in silence, doing nothing to process the heaviness of the situation.

Then, I stood from my desk and began my long drive to retrieve my cell phone.

I couldn’t wait to be back with Stella. I felt as if I needed her comfort more than ever before.