Page 216 of The Compass Series

AIDEN

F or the past few weeks, Hailee and I kept falling more and more for one another.

I felt the happiest I’d been in a very long time, and I knew that was because of the freckle-faced girl who let me back into her life. When we weren’t making love to each other’s bodies, we were making love to one another’s brains. The conversations with Hailee came as easy as ever before.

My father and I hadn’t spoken much, except on the surface level at Thanksgiving, and I only did that to please my mother. She didn’t push for me to reconnect with Dad because she knew how much damage he’d done with the choices he made.

On Thanksgiving Day, Jake came to dinner, and Dad gave him money again.

Something I’d never understood. Jake asked me for a handout, too, but I was beyond the point where I felt as if I owed that man anything.

Of course, Jake made a big scene about it, calling me a famous selfish asshole.

Saying that I had more than enough to help family.

I knew enough that family was much more than Jake had ever been to me.

Still, for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why Dad kept feeding the beast. He’d given him more money through the years than made sense, and it only went to feed Jake’s bad habits.

At that moment, when Dad pulled out his wallet on Thanksgiving Day, I realized how toxic love could be.

My father gave and gave to his cousin and never got anything but disappointment back from him.

Each time he gave to Jake, it was as if he was breaking a piece of my mother’s heart.

She didn’t speak about it much, but it was easy to see if my father took the time to look into her eyes.

“Sometimes he feels like a stranger to me,” she confessed on Thanksgiving evening after one too many glasses of wine. “Like the man I once married was a completely different person.”

I couldn’t blame her.

He felt different to me, too.

He tried to force me to talk to him, but I set a boundary and said I’d come to him when I was ready. I wasn’t to the point where I wanted to converse with him about what he’d done.

December brought cooler temperatures with it, along with our first snow.

The closer I grew to the new year, the more I started overthinking my return to Los Angeles.

How was I going to leave this small town where the woman I loved resided?

The break from the Hollywood world felt much better than I’d ever thought it would’ve felt.

A huge part of me didn’t want to go back.

One afternoon, my father kept calling me repeatedly as I walked beside Hailee to take her home after her workday.

It was damn near a blizzard, and truthfully, we would’ve been better off driving.

Her rosy cheeks were damn near frozen as I wrapped my arm around her to pull her into my side, trying to keep her warm.

“I think it’s rude that you set a boundary with your father, and he keeps reaching out to you,” Hailee said.

“Yeah, well. My father never really was good at having boundaries set against him.”

“You know what they say, those who struggle the most with the boundaries you set were probably the ones benefiting the most from you when you didn’t have them.”

I smirked as I kissed her forehead. “Oh, yes, Hails. Talk therapist to me. It turns me on.”

“You’re ridiculous, but I adore you, so it’s fine.”

She asked if I was staying the night, but I had some work to do back at the inn, so after I dropped her off, I headed back to the Starlight only to find my father standing inside the lobby, waiting for me.

My gut tightened as annoyance found me. “Dad. What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been trying to call you.”

“Yeah. I told you. I needed space and time. I’m not ready to talk.”

“I know, but…it’s just. Your mother and I got into a fight tonight. We were arguing about Jake and how I’ve helped him financially all these years. I know it’s a tricky subject, but me helping him comes from a place of love. Your mother doesn’t see it that way.”

“Can you blame her? At some point, it feels like you’re feeding his bad habits.”

“I know…it’s just…he’s done a lot for me. For us.”

“A person doing a good thing once doesn’t give him the right to forever abuse you.”

He grimaced. “I know. I know.” He slid his hands into his pockets. “That wasn’t the only thing we were arguing about.”

“What else?”

“Your mother mentioned that she gave you a letter from your biological mother.”

I tensed up. “Yeah, she did.”

“What did it say?” he asked, concern dripping in his tone. “What did she have to tell you?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t read it yet.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded. “Don’t read it, Aiden.”

“What?”

“Don’t read that letter. Nothing good can come from it. It would only end up hurting you and causing more trauma or hurting your mother and making her feel like she’s less of your mom. No good can come from reading those words. Do you understand me?”

I didn’t reply. I didn’t know what to say. “I need to get some work done,” I told him.

“Yeah…okay. Right. I’m actually staying in a room here tonight. Your mother didn’t want me at home. If you want to talk more, I’m in room fifteen. You have a good night. I’ll talk to you later.”

He headed to his room, leaving me standing there with an odd amount of doubt.

Even though I had work to do, I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus if I didn’t first make sure Mom was okay, so I headed over to check in on her.

The argument must’ve been worse than Dad made it seem if Mom had him staying at the inn for the evening.

When I showed up, Mom opened the door. She smiled, but I could tell she was hurting. We walked inside and I pulled her into a hug, and she sighed. “Did he tell you about the argument?”

“He did. About Jake.”

“It wasn’t only about Jake…” She sighed and shut her eyes. “Aiden…I told him I wanted a divorce.”

“What?”

“I told him I wanted out of the marriage. The truth is, we haven’t been happy in a long time.

I thought that if I ended things, I would be breaking up this family that I’ve prayed for the longest time.

But I just can’t keep pretending that I’m happy with him.

He’s not the man I thought I married, which is fine.

But I just…” She closed her eyes. “I can’t keep lowering my standards in hopes that he will rise to higher ones at some point.

I feel like an awful mother for breaking up our family. ”

“No,” I scolded her as I led us to the living room to sit on the couch. “You have been nothing but the greatest mother in this world. I don’t want you to ever doubt that. You staying in an unhappy marriage is the last thing I’d ever want you to do. Your happiness has to come first, Mom.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Thank you. I needed to hear that. I just worried that you’d think differently of me.”

“Never.” I squeezed her hand. “Which is why I know Dad was right about the letter.”

“What do you mean?”

“He told me not to read it. That it would harm you too much and make you doubt our relationship. So I’m not going to read it. I don’t need to know who my birth mother is…you’re the only one who truly matters.”

“Aiden.” She took my hands into hers and locked her eyes with mine.

“Don’t you dare avoid reading that letter.

I need you to go home and read it. I would never feel any kind of way about you knowing what that note says.

I know my place in your life. I know our love.

I know our strength. So don’t you listen to your father.

Promise me the moment you leave here, you’ll open that letter. ”

“Mom—”

“Promise me, Aiden.”

I sighed, but I made that promise.

After my visit, I headed back to the inn before hopping into my car to drive over to Hailee’s place. When she opened her door, she could tell something was off.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Do you think you can do a favor with me tonight?”

“Anything. What do you need?”

“Someone to be there beside me as I read the letter from my biological mother.”

Her eyes grew somber, but she was alert and quick to reply. “Of course. I’m here.”

She led me up to her apartment. I felt like an idiot for being so nervous. It was just a letter. Nothing more, nothing less. Still, it felt like the weight of the world was sitting within that envelope. It felt like every key to my past was written in ink.

“Are you ready?” Hailee asked.

I sat down on the couch beside her. “Absolutely not, but I doubt I’ll ever be ready.

Here goes.” I opened the envelope and unfolded the letter, unfolded my past. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a long note.

It seemed my biological mother wasn’t much of a talker—or writer I guess.

My eyes danced across the few paragraphs in a bit of misbelief as I read the words.

“What is it?” Hailee questioned. “What does it say?”

I passed it over to her and stared forward, unsure how to feel. How to react.

Hailee began to read it out loud. “Aiden, first and foremost, I’m glad to hear your father kept your name.

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I flipped through a name book for a week.

I knew I wouldn’t keep you, but when I saw the name Aiden, I knew it was yours.

It means little fire. It described what I did and probably still do throughout my life.

I leave little fires everywhere I go, and I never extinguish them.

I make people’s lives harder than they have to be due to my selfish ways.

So I stayed away from you. You were the little fire I kept safe from spreading too far.

You were contained and controlled, placed into a stable family unit.

Which, oddly, is probably the most successful thing I’ve ever done.

“I saw you at the Oscars. I’ve also seen every single one of your movies. Bravo, Aiden. Bravo. Selfishly, I like to think you have my eyes, but I know they are much more like your brother’s.

“Which brings me to the next point: You have a brother in California.

“His name is Damian Blackstone. He just recently learned about me. While I have no desire to formally meet you because I know that meeting with me will only spread your little fire, I think I’s fair that you know your blood brother.

On the back of this letter, I’ll put the location of his place of employment. You can do with it as you wish.

“I wish you the best, Aiden. I would call you son, but I know that title belongs to someone else. Take care of those who stayed beside you. They are worth keeping safe. -Catherine.”

Catherine.

Her name was Catherine.

“A brother?” Hailee questioned. “You have a brother?”

A brother named Damian Blackstone.