Page 204 of The Compass Series

“Yes, I do.” S o much more than you’d ever know, Aiden.

“No,” he spat out, crushing any small hope I’d had.

“Why?” I questioned again. It seemed like I was a child asking why to everything that left his mouth.

He placed his hands against the door, boxing me in.

My back was pressed against the wooden door as my nerves sat tangled up in my gut.

“Because I can’t be near you without feeling crazy.

When I’m near you, my mind gets fucked up.

I don’t know how to act around you. I want to cuss you out and call you names for the shit that went down between us, and then…

” He sighed and shut his eyes, his face inches away from mine.

His hot breaths fell against my skin, sending chills of sensation down my back.

“Then I want to push you up against this door, rip your clothes off and take back what was once mine. I want to hold you, Hailee. You have no clue how much I want to fucking hold you and never let you go again. So I’m sorry.

Either I hate you or I love you. There’s no in-between for me.

Therefore, it’s best if I hold on to the hate because we already know what happens when I love you.

” He opened his eyes, and his lips were millimeters away from mine.

If I leaned forward, I could taste him. If I bent two inches forward, he’d be mine again.

His hand moved to the doorknob, and he began to twist it. “Move, Hailee.”

I wanted to argue with him. I wanted to beg for him to understand that I never wished to let him go.

I wanted to ask if he was all right. I wanted to take his sadness and put it in my own soul.

He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to be so hurt.

I wanted to hold him, too. I wanted to fucking hold him and never let him go again.

Instead, I stepped to the side. He opened the door, and I left.

He shut the door in my face, and I wiped my tears away.

“Are you okay, Hailee?”

I looked up to find Carly there, holding a tray of food.

“Carly. I thought you went home sick after getting the same stomach bug Sarah had?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Stomach bug? No. Mr. Lee sent Sarah home early yesterday for some reason. I’ve been here the whole time.” She walked over to me and narrowed her eyes. “You have mustard in your ear.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Okay, well, as long as you know. I’ll see you later. Gotta get back to the bar and grill.”

She hurried away, and I took off, too, to get to the bottom of the issue at hand. “Mr. Lee!” I shouted. Sitting at the front desk, he was relaxed as ever with his feet propped on the countertop.

“Oh hey, Hailee. Ready to take over again?”

“You tricked me!”

One thing about Mr. Lee was that he had no poker face. He lied like a three-year-old who stole an extra cookie. “Who me? I would never lie! What have I lied about? I haven’t lied!”

“I just ran into Carly, and she told me Sarah wasn’t even sick the other day, but that you sent her home.”

“Oh.” He sat up straighter. “Those lies.”

“Mr. Lee!”

“What? What?!” He tossed his hands up in surrender. “I’m an old man. You can’t yell at an old man.”

“What exactly is going on? Why have you lied about these things?”

“I told her you were too smart. I told her you’d figure it out.”

“Figure what out? Who’s her?”

“Laurie, Aiden’s mother.”

“What does she have to do with this?”

Mr. Lee waved his hand in a dismissive fashion.

“You know mothers. They are always sticking their noses in their children’s business.

She wanted you and Aiden to make up. To rekindle some old flames.

To force you into proximity.” He sighed and swooned, placing his hands against his cheeks.

“It’s kind of romantic if you think about it.

But then again, what do I know? I’m just an old man.

I’m going to go take a nap.” He stood and started walking away but paused and turned back to me. “You glow different, you know.”

“What?”

“For years, you’ve walked around unassuming. You keep your head down in your books and don’t really show many emotions. I know you’re happy, but at the same time, your aura feels muted. Yet when he walks into the room… you glow different. You glow bright. You know how I can spot it in you?”

“How?”

“Because it’s the same glow I used to get whenever I was around my late wife.

It didn’t matter if I was happy with her or pissed off at her.

Whatever I was feeling showcased through my glow whenever she was around me.

Do you know why? Because she made me feel alive.

Life is short. So many people are walking around like zombies.

Most people’s souls are dead as they move through life.

But when you find that person who makes you feel ?

When you find someone who makes you glow?

Stay around them. Anyone who makes you feel alive in a dark, lonely world is worth fighting for. ”

After work, I found myself knocking on the Walters’s front door. When Laurie answered, she gave me the biggest smile. “Hailee. What a lovely surprise. What are you doing here?”

“Don’t play innocent, Laurie. I just left work, and Mr. Lee told me everything.”

Her sweet, sweet smile dropped a little as guilt filled her brown eyes. She then stepped to the side and gestured toward her living room. “Samuel is on his way home from Chicago. Do you want to come in for a glass of wine?”

I walked into their house, and it felt so odd. Walking through their hallways felt like a time capsule. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw pictures of Aiden and me still hanging in their living room.

“Take a seat. Are you into red wine or white?” Laurie called out from the kitchen.

“White, please.”

“Coming right up.”

She brought out two glasses, handed one to me, and sat on the couch across from me. “I bet you’re wondering what’s going on.”

“Uh, yeah. You could say that.”

“Aiden is miserable.”

“You’ve noticed, too?”

She nodded. “It kills me to see how sad and broken my son has been over the past few years. He’s not himself.

He hasn’t been himself in a long time. I selfishly figured that if you came back into his life, a bit of light might come back to him.

So I placed him at the inn after I convinced him to come home for the holiday season.

I wanted to get him around you to remind him how you both need one another. There’s no Tom without Jerry.”

“Laurie… he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s not true. I know my son.” She placed her glass of wine on the table and reached across to touch my arm.

“Aiden, he’s been numb. He’s so closed-off, but over the past few weeks, whenever I get a glimpse of you two together, he comes to life again.

Sure, he might be angry, but that’s better than the numbness he’s been displaying for years.

He’s feeling something again, and I know he hasn’t felt alive in a very long time.

You light him up in a way he hasn’t been lit in a very long time. You two are meant to be together.”

“I think he hates me,” I confessed.

“There is no way my son hates you, Hailee Rose Jones. You’re his best friend.”

“I’m not. Too much time?—”

Laurie took my free hand into hers and squeezed it. “You’re his best friend.”

Tears washed over my eyes as her words settled into my soul. “You think so? After all this time?”

“The love you two have for one another was made for an eternity. Now, I just need you to figure out how to get him to stop being so stupid so you two can reunite already.”

“Laurie…”

“I’m not telling you to fall in love with him, Hailee, but if there is ever a window of opportunity to be his best friend again, please take it. I feel his saddest parts would be healed if that happened.”

“I’ll try my best.” I pushed out a tight smile before I finished my white wine in one gulp. I stood and smoothed my hands over my outfit. Laurie smiled, knowing full well that my nerves were wreaking havoc on me. “Thank you for the wine, Laurie.”

“You know it was always you for him, right, Hailee? You were his leading lady.” She stood and pulled me into a tight embrace. She whispered against my ear, “It was always you.”