Page 8 of Healed Hearts (Mended Hearts #2)

Chapter Seven

Holden

T his is stupid. Absolutely stupid.

Why am I freaking out about this so badly? It’s just another day. A normal day. A day that I get to see Julian. Why does that matter? It doesn’t. It shouldn’t. My stomach flips. Oh, it so fucking matters.

“Hold, you good?” I turn to Beck, dragging myself from my thoughts. The never-ending, constant stream of thoughts about Julian. He’s infiltrated my mind. He’s got me all fucked up. I’m not sure that I like this. I’m not sure I like this at all.

But I definitely can’t tell Beck that. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He gives me a sideways glance. “Are you sure?”

He’s been… cautious with me, since our argument the other night—if you can even call it that. “Yeah, I’m sure.” I’m not sure, but there’s nothing he can do about that. I have no doubt that he would give me advice. That he would help me work through the stuff going on in my head, but I can’t ask him to do that. I don’t want to. Not yet. Plus, I’m slightly worried he won’t like Julian. As much as I like how overprotective he is, I also hate it. It puts me in a strange place. And why does it even matter if he likes Julian anyway? It doesn’t. He’s a patient’s parent, that’s all.

He’s also the only man who’s ever asked you for consent, Hold.

“Okay,” Beck says, pulling me from my thoughts again as we pull into the parking lot to the hospital. “You know you can come to me, right? If you need something. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

I turn to him with a grin. He’s studying my face, like he’s trying to make sure it’s a real one. I hope to God it passes. He smiles back. Thank God. “Yeah, I know that, Beck.”

He nods. “Good. That’s good.”

I want to roll my eyes, but I won’t. “Well, we better get in there.” Julian. I get to see Julian today. This is so fucked up. Ugh.

We step out of the car together and walk through the front doors of the hospital side by side. Beck gives me a little wave as I veer off toward the elevators, and he heads in the direction of the ER.

When Julian and Wren walk into the unit two hours into my shift, my heart about pounds out of my chest.

“Holden!” Wren shouts the second she sees me.

I laugh and so does Julian. “You can’t be yelling like that in here, baby girl,” he says softly, still chuckling.

I’m inclined to think that she can do whatever she wants, personally. “Hey, guys!” Oh, I sound a little too excited. Reel it in, Hold.

“How are you today?” Julian asks as they approach me.

God, he’s so… just so . It’s kind of fucking with my head a bit. “I’m okay. How about you two?”

Julian grins. That smile. His whole fucking face, honestly. Jesus. “We’re good,” he says. “Hoping this medicine starts working soon.”

“Me too. Let’s go get some blood drawn and see how we’re doing, shall we?”

Julian leans down to lift Wren and then they’re following me into a room. “Okay, let me go grab what I need and we can get you guys taken care of. Sound good?”

Wren’s sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, her little feet kicking up a storm in her excitement. “Stickers, Holden?”

That gets a laugh out of me. I’m almost positive I’ve created a sticker fiend. And honestly, why shouldn’t she be one? “Absolutely, stickers. You just chill out here with Daddy, and I’ll get you all the stickers.”

She claps, clearly on board with this plan.

After grabbing everything I need, I head back into the room. Julian and Wren are playing patty-cake, sporting matching smiles. Part of me wants to lean against the wall and watch them interact. That’s so fucking crazy, Hold. She’s a patient. He’s the father of your patient. You don’t need to be doing anything but your job.

I clear my throat, alerting them to my presence. Julian’s eyes dart to mine and then drop to the supplies I have in my hand. He swallows hard, then looks back at me and gives me a small smile. “I don’t plan on falling out on you today. Gave myself a pep talk in the mirror and everything.”

The image of him standing in front of a mirror giving himself a pep talk makes me want to giggle. But I can’t because that’s honestly kind of sad. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with needing a little support. It’s scary. It’s understandable.”

He shrugs. “Either way. I should be okay today.”

Well, even if he’s not, it’ll be okay. Especially now that I know what I know and can be a better support person. “Sounds good,” I say, grinning at him.

I set everything out and wash my hands, then glove up. I keep a careful eye on Julian, and even though he swallows hard a couple of times, he seems like he’s doing alright. A distraction never hurts, though. “So, do you guys have any fun plans for today?”

I’m tying the tourniquet around her upper arm when Julian makes a strange sound. When I glance up at him, his eyes are locked on what I’m doing. “Julian?”

His eyes find mine. There we go. Just look at me. “Any fun plans?”

He clears his throat. “I, uh… no. We’ll probably just go home and watch movies.”

“Yeah?” I ask, trying to keep my voice upbeat, since there’s definitely a tremor in his voice that wasn’t there before. “What kind of movies?”

“Dis—Disney movies. She likes Disney.”

I glance up at Wren, who’s watching each move I make. I’m almost done now—just have to keep him calm for a few more seconds. “Disney, huh? A girl after my own heart. I love Disney movies. Especially the ones I get to sing. Do you guys like to sing?” I ask, undoing the tourniquet and slowly pulling the needle from her arm.

“Daddy sings,” Wren says brightly.

I place a Band-Aid on her arm and glance up at them. “Daddy sings, huh?”

Julian looks a little pale, but he made it through. “Yeah,” she says, a big grin on her face. Damn, this is one brave kid. I’ve seen grown men throw fits over getting blood drawn. “He sings me to bed.”

My heart trips over itself. That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. “Do you like it?” I ask as I toss everything in their respective places.

Her smile is the sun when she looks up at him. “Yeah, I like it.”

He takes a shaky breath and smiles back at her. When his eyes find mine, they’re full of gratitude. “Guess my pep talk didn’t work,” he says with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Considering I didn’t have to walk him through a panic attack, I’d say it worked pretty well. “You did great. You both did. Now, I have some promised stickers to deliver. Give me a few, and I’ll bring some in here for you to choose from.”

After I get Wren her stickers, they take off. Watching them walk away kind of sucks, and I’m not really sure why. I stare after them as they make their way down the hall toward the elevators. Right before they reach them, Julian turns back and locks eyes with me. His lips tilt up in a barely there smile.

“I wanna push the button, Daddy,” Wren says, drawing his attention back to her.

He pats the top of her head and gestures for her to go ahead. She’s practically bouncing on the balls of her feet as she reaches up to push the button for the elevator. I watch them until they step in. Julian’s eyes find me immediately, and we just stare at each other until the doors close and take him from my view.

A shiver wracks my body. What the actual fuck is that reaction? I shake myself from my stupor and head back to work. Can’t be distracted by thoughts of Julian and his adorable-ass kid.

The rest of my shift is uneventful, which is not a complaint. By the time I make my way to the ER to wait for Beck to finish up, I’m exhausted and definitely ready to get home.

My phone buzzes, so I lean against the wall and pull it from my pocket. My heart jumps into my throat when I read the message.

Unknown

Hey, this is Julian. I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to send you this.

A few seconds later, a photo comes through. It’s of Wren, asleep on what appears to be a couch with a sticker on each cheek, her forehead, and her chin.

A huge smile lights up my face. She’s too adorable for words.

Should I text him back? I think I have to, right? It would be rude if I didn’t. I quickly save his number, then glance around to make sure that Beck isn’t peeking over my shoulder and reply.

Me

OMG! She is so cute. Thank you for sharing that with me :)

I slide my phone into my pocket, but as soon as it clears the fabric, it vibrates again. I pull it back out at a very normal rate of speed. Scout’s honor. I definitely don’t rip it out like it holds all the secrets of the universe.

Ro

What time will the two of you be home? I tried to text Beck, but he’s not answering.

Well, that’s disappointing.

Me

I’m standing in the ER right now waiting for Beck to finish up, so as soon as he’s done. Can’t imagine it will be long. ER is dead.

I hold my phone in my hand for a second, knowing that he’ll be texting soon.

Ro

You aren’t supposed to say that, Hold. You should know this!

I grin like a loon. He’s so easy to rile up, and he doesn’t even work in medicine. It’s so funny to me.

Me

I mean, probably not. But you know me. I’m a rebel.

He sends back an eye roll emoji and nothing else.

I’m about to text him back when Julian’s number pops up across the top of my screen. Holy shit. Holy shit . I switch text threads.

Julian

Thank you for today, Holden.

I pull my lower lip between my teeth, my stomach a little fluttery.

Me

It’s no problem at all.

I stare at my phone for a while, waiting to see if he’s going to text back. He doesn’t. It’s a little disappointing, but I don’t have time to linger on those thoughts because Beck comes up beside me. I quickly slide my phone back into my pocket. Hopefully, he didn’t notice anything amiss. “You ready to go?”

I nod. “Yep. Ro texted me, by the way.”

He shoots me a glance as we make our way to the door. “Yeah, he texted me too. I was finishing up with a patient, so I couldn’t get back to him.”

“I texted him back. Don’t worry.”

As I climb into the passenger seat, my phone buzzes again. It’s most likely Ro, but my heart gives a little jolt anyway because there’s a chance it’s not. There’s a chance it’s Julian. I work very hard to appear totally normal. Nothing to see here, Beckett. Mind your own business.

“Did you have a good day?”

“Huh?” I ask, turning to face Beck.

He gives me a strange look as he backs out of his parking spot. “I asked if you had a good day.”

I smile. I had such a good day. One super bright spot, but still good overall. “Yeah, I did. What about you? I got Ro riled up, telling him the ER was dead.”

Beck groans. “If you jinx me for tomorrow, I’m going to be so mad at you.”

I roll my eyes. “You two are way too superstitious.”

He scoffs. “No. You’ve worked in the ER, CT. You know better.”

I do. I really so do. I would never ever say that in the ER, especially not during my shift. Definitely not out loud. Period. But I enjoy giving Beck shit. It’s one of my favorite pastimes, if I’m being honest.

My phone is burning a hole in my pocket. I want to pull it out and check my messages so badly. But I’m definitely not letting on to that with Beck in the car. The man’s a bloodhound, and I’d like to keep this to myself.

I almost laugh. This. There is no this. Just an adorable, tiny patient and her dad. Who I may or may not be a little infatuated with. I’m not actually, though, right? I just think they’re a sweet little family. That’s all. Nothing more.

When Beck pulls into the driveway, it takes all my self-control to not throw myself from the car and run to my bedroom. I make sure to keep my movements slow and fluid as I walk to the front door, since Beck’s right behind me. When we walk in, Ro is sitting on the couch, watching TV. “Hey, guys!” he calls over his shoulder, not taking his eyes off the show he’s watching.

Beck gasps. “You little shit. You’re watching ahead. How dare you!”

Roman turns around with a slightly guilty expression on his face. And that’s my cue. I won’t get a better opportunity than this one to sneak by unnoticed. I walk through the living room and breathe a sigh of relief when I make it to my room and shut the door behind me.

I force myself to wait until I get to my bed before pulling my phone out. Not that I’m expecting it to be Julian. Why would it be? He just wanted to show me the picture of Wren and thank me. Surely he doesn’t want to have long, drawn-out conversations with me.

Would I even want that? Yeah, kind of. Fuck.

My stomach flips in nervous anticipation as I pull my phone from my pocket. I almost want to peek at it with one eye, but that would be so incredibly stupid.

I look at the screen and my heart absolutely goes haywire.

Julian

You really have an uncanny ability to calm me down when I’m freaking out. Which, I’m sorry for. That you keep having to deal with it, that is.