Page 25 of Healed Hearts (Mended Hearts #2)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Julian

W hen I wake up, Holden is already awake, sprawled across my chest while he scrolls on his phone.

“Good morning,” I rasp, bringing my hand up to his hair.

“Good morning to you,” he says, raising up to grin at me.

“Been awake long?”

“Nah, few minutes. Ro and Beck want to know if you wanna go on a double-date for dinner tonight. I told them I wasn’t sure what our plans were.”

“Yeah, we can do that.” Truthfully, I want to spend more time with them. They’re important to Holden, and that makes them automatically important to me. Plus, they’ve already claimed my kid as one of their own, which is more than any of my friends ever did. It’s been lonely the last three years, if I’m being honest. I’m not used to having people around that not only want to spend time with me, but don’t seem to hate that I have a kid in tow.

“Great. Are we picking Wren up first?” Holden asks. It’s impossible to miss the excitement in his voice at the prospect.

“No, she’s staying with Ruby and Henry for the weekend.”

His face falls. “What the hell. Do they steal her all the time like that?”

I shrug, grinning at his crestfallen expression. “Yeah, kind of. She’s the last piece of Maya. I’d never deny them the chance to see her. Besides, they’re amazing grandparents. And Wren loves them.”

“Ugh. No, I know that. It just sucks. I miss her.” His bottom lip comes out in a little pout and I lean forward to kiss it away, butterflies floating around in my stomach at how much he loves Wren and enjoys spending time with her.

“I’m sure she misses you too.”

“I am her Holden, after all,” he responds, a pleased grin on his gorgeous face.

“That you are, darlin’. Had us both hooked from day one.”

He giggles and rests his head back against my chest, his fingers absently toying with my nipple in a way that is entirely too distracting. My cock thickens against his hip. He notices instantly, squirming around, which doesn’t help at all. He tugs and pulls on the little bud of flesh, twisting it between his finger and thumb. Little pulses of pleasure tingle through my body, landing in my cock. I let out a soft moan at the sensation, and Holden echoes it with a moan of his own, his dick hardening against my stomach.

“I really enjoyed last night,” he says, fingers still toying with my nipple.

“Me too,” I whisper, breathless from even the slightest bit of stimulation from his body.

“Would you try being on top? Not like actually topping me, but just being physically on top of me?” he asks, raising his head to look at me.

“Sure, as long as you promise you’ll stop me if you feel scared.”

“Okay. I promise,” he says, rolling off me and spreading out on his back. Oh, does he mean right now? He arches a brow at me. I guess he does.

“Now?” I ask, needing to clarify, just in case. The last thing I want is to trigger him.

“Yes.”

Oh shit. Okay. Yeah. So, now then. I sit up, glancing down at his body sprawled out before me. Most of our sexual encounters to this point have been me letting him take the lead and me being… I wouldn’t say passive, but more subdued.

I follow the lines of his body with my eyes, then bring a hand up, hovering it over his body. “Can I?” I ask.

“Please,” he whimpers. “I love when you ask me. I don’t know why, but it really does it for me.”

Following the path of my eyes, I trail my fingertip over his soft skin, marveling at the way his chest rises and falls with his quickening breath. I pause at his belly button, circling it, and he lets out a little groan. “Who knew that would be such an obsession of my future boyfriend when I got it after nursing school,” he says, arching up into my touch.

“Won’t find me complaining, darlin’.”

He chuckles, but it cuts off in a gasp when my finger dips lower, trailing along his hip bones and then down the crease of his legs to his inner thighs. I haven’t really been afforded the opportunity to touch him like this, and that’s a bit of a shame because God damn, he is perfection.

“Can I kiss you?” I ask, looking back at his face.

He’s looking at me like I’m a moron, which is adorable and hilarious. “We’ve covered this, Julian. Blanket permission for kisses.”

“I meant here,” I say, eyes locked on his as I drag my fingers up the inside of his thigh. He sucks in a breath, his head bobbing rapidly. Fuck. Yes. I move between his legs. My feet are hanging off the end of the bed, but I couldn’t care less. I hitch his leg up and keep my eyes on him as I drag my lips over the sensitive skin. He groans, dropping his head back against the pillow. I grin against his skin before pressing open-mouth kisses up and down, occasionally sucking and nipping his skin as I do.

He drops a hand to the top of my head, the tips of his fingers playing with my hair. I kiss my way up, then bury my face in the crease of his leg, inhaling deeply, groaning at the heady mixture of citrus and sex. His fingers tighten in my hair, his hips rocking. I raise my head to look at him. “Can I blow you?”

The only response I get is a frantic nod and a whiny moan that makes me groan. I’ll take it. I drag my tongue over his cock as he brings his other hand down to grip my hair. He’s holding on to me like he might fly away if he doesn’t, and I love it. Closing my lips around the head of his cock, I revel in the taste of his salty pre-cum as it smears across my tongue. I’m a little out of practice, and I don’t think I’ve ever sucked a cock as, ahem, girthy as his. It’s like riding a bike, though, because within a few minutes, we’ve settled into an easy rhythm. His hips are twitching like he’s trying to keep them still, but I don’t really need him to. I pull off him slowly, dragging my tongue along the underside of his cock as I do. “Fuck my mouth, darlin’,” I say, throat raspy from taking him to the back of it over and over.

He looks down at me like he’s trying to make sure I’m being serious. I am, so I drop my mouth back to his cock, sucking him into my mouth and moaning around him. He trembles beneath me, shaking with what I’m assuming is him trying to hold back, but he doesn’t for long. His hips start thrusting up slowly. Fuck me. I groan, rocking my hips against the bed. As he gains confidence, his hips pick up speed.

“Oh God,” he groans. “This is going to make me come so fast.” His words are breathy, but there’s a bit of humor in them too. The fact that he’s enjoying this is making me feel all the good fuzzy feelings, but it’s also making my dick ache. So truthfully, it’s probably going to make me come so fast too. I double down, hollowing my cheeks as he thrusts up, his fingers tightening in my hair, but not pushing or controlling my head at all. His cock swells against my tongue and I groan. “Jules, Jules, Jules,” he chants. I have no idea where he came up with the nickname, but it spells disaster. My cock pulses, and I choke on his dick as I shoot all over the bed. He lets out the hottest sound I’ve ever heard in my entire life and holds his hips off the bed as his body goes taut, fingers tugging on my hair as he spills down my throat.

He slumps against the bed. “Holy shit.”

Holy shit, indeed.

Roman and Beck beat us to the restaurant, so when we walk through the doors, Roman stands from the table, waving us over. Holden smiles brightly, tugging me toward them.

Roman hugs Holden and then surprises the hell out of me by hugging me too. He releases me with a pat on the back and sits back down, immediately taking Beck’s hand in his.

“Hey, Beckett,” Hold says, grinning like a loon.

Beck narrows his eyes playfully. “CT.”

Holden rolls his eyes as we take our seats.

“How’s it going, guys?” Roman asks.

“Can’t complain,” Holden answers.

The server comes around and gets our drink orders. Beck and Roman both order water, and Holden and I do the same.

“So you guys don’t drink either?” I ask.

Roman and Beck share a look. “Nah,” Roman answers. “Can’t even stand the smell of the stuff myself. Whiskey especially.”

“Ro’s dad was an alcoholic,” Holden says.

Ah, well, that makes sense. “Is that why you don’t drink?” I ask, turning to him.

He shrugs. “Ro assured me I could if I wanted to, but eh, don’t really have the desire. I’ve never had a single drop of alcohol in my life.”

“Me neither,” Beck says, picking up his menu. That seems to surprise Roman, who turns to him.

“Damn, really?”

Beck looks at him like he’s got three heads. “I watched alcohol destroy your life. And mine. I never touched it.”

“Huh,” Roman says, almost to himself. “Well, anyway, thanks for joining us. Never been on a double date before. To be fair, no one’s ever been able to pin Holden down.”

That makes me laugh. “You too much for one man to handle, darlin’?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. Too much trauma for one man to handle, maybe.” He glances at me with a conspiratorial expression, before leaning in and mock whispering, “Good thing you have big hands.” He snorts and Roman laughs with him, but Beck looks at the two of them like they’re crazy.

“You two are so strange. Constantly laughing at shit that would make most people break down,” Beck murmurs.

Holden shrugs. “If you can’t laugh, you’ll cry.”

“So, what about you?” Beck asks, turning his attention to me. “Has Holden shocked you with his inability to be serious about his trauma?”

That has both of us laughing. “No, not yet. To be fair, though. When you’re disowned for having a baby out of wedlock, and then you bury the mother of said baby and become a single parent at twenty-three, it tends to desensitize you.”

Beck’s jaw drops open. “Jesus. So now there’s three of you. Perfect. Am I the only one with normal parents around here?”

Holden nods. “Yeah, pretty much.”

By the time we get our food, the conversation is flowing easily, the four of us settling into a comfortable back and forth.

“Oh, hey. We’ve got a wedding date set,” Roman says. Holden gasps, pulling his hands up to this face.

“Thank God. Only took y’all a fucking decade.”

Beck narrows his eyes and scoffs. “Took me less than a year, thank you very much. Besides, I would have married Roman at eighteen if he hadn’t taken off like a bat out of hell in the middle of the day. Runaway groom shit right there.” Roman bites his lip, and for a second, I worry that he’s going to cry, but then he bursts out laughing. Beck sighs. “What’s so funny, beautiful?”

Roman shakes his head, trying to get himself together. “You just made a joke about trauma. Rich coming from you, Mr. You Two Are So Strange.”

Beck’s shocked face has Holden giggling and me chuckling. “Okay, I’ll give you that one. What does it say about me though that my only trauma is you leaving, and that it fucked me up for so long?”

Before Roman can answer, Holden speaks up, his voice measured and serious. “We don’t compare trauma, Beck. It all sucks. Period.”

“Hardly counts as trauma,” Beck mumbles, dropping his eyes. Roman sighs, but says nothing. Instead, he reaches for Beck, pulling him against his side.

“I don’t know about that, Beck,” Holden says softly. “I never had to see Roman in the throes of his childhood. I’ve seen him flinch away from my touch, and scream in his sleep, but I’d imagine that seeing that in real time, and then walking into what you walked into that last day would probably send me spiraling too. And you didn’t even know if he was okay or hell, even alive for a decade. So your trauma isn’t directly related to something that happened to you . Doesn’t make it any less traumatic.”

Beck glances up at Holden, his lips tipped up in a small smile. “Thanks, Hold.”

“Anytime. Now eat.”

The four of us go back to eating as my mind spins. I don’t think I’ve ever met a group of people quite like these three. They’re so open with each other, no shame or holding back. And they did it all right in front of me. Not like I wasn’t here, but more like I was part of them. This is kind of messing with my head. I won’t lie.

“Are you guys always this open with strangers?” I ask.

Roman shrugs. “I used to keep my past hidden and tucked away. But not anymore. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, you’re not a stranger. You’re Holden’s. Which makes you ours too. Welcome to the family.” He grins at me, holding his water up in the air.

“Speaking of family,” Beck chimes in. “Wren needs a sleepover at Uncle Beck and Uncle Ro’s house. I already have it planned. We’re going to stay up late watching Disney movies, and we’re going to have ice cream and cookies for dinner.”

I laugh, but Holden seems outraged. “Beckett, you’re a doctor. Surely you know you can’t feed a three-year-old that for dinner.”

He tsks at Holden. “Now, now. I’m not a real doctor, remember?”

Holden groans. “I hate when you use my words against me like that. Are you sure you don’t still hate me?”

“Yeah, I’m curious about that. How was it even possible for you to hate him?” I ask, chuckling at the memory of Holden telling me he wasn’t well-liked at first.

Roman laughs, but Beck sighs. “Let me paint you the picture, alright? So you’re head over heels in love with a guy for your entire adult life and half your teen years, but he takes off and leaves you one day, right? You spend ten years pining and heartbroken, and then one day he shows up in your ER needing stitches. But is he alone? Oh, no. In walks the little chaos twink nurse who just started at the hospital.”

Holden’s giggle brings a smile to my face. “Now, I’m going to say this slowly for you, Julian,” Beck continues. “You’ve seen Hold, right? I mean, obviously you have. Now, imagine that you’re face to face with the man you’ve loved forever, for the first time in years , and then you’ve got Holden busting into the room, looking like that . All cute little doe eyes and edgy eyeliner, and glossy lips talking about how special the man you love is, as if you don’t already know.”

Roman smirks, and Holden giggles again. “I thought the jealousy alone would take me out. Once I realized how stupid I was being, it was all good. To be honest, I never truly disliked him. It was basically an inferiority complex. Now I can’t imagine life without him.” He shrugs, sitting back in his seat.

I laugh. “Yeah, I could see how that would set you off. I’m not sure I’d react any differently.”

“Now, it’s like his personal mission to give me shit,” Holden says, pushing his empty plate away from him.

“You give him shit too, Hold,” Roman says.

Holden smirks, shrugging. “Oh, well.”

“I love how close you guys are.” I consider leaving it at that, but they’re so open with each other—so honest and real—that it makes me feel like I can be too. “I had a lot of friends before Maya died—that’s Wren’s mom. But no one likes to have a grieving single dad around. So, over time, they kind of faded away. Seems like you guys band together instead of falling apart.”

Holden takes my hand under the table and gently brushes his thumb over the back of it.

“Well, you’re one of us now,” Roman says, and Beck grins, nodding his head in agreement.

“Thanks,” I manage to choke out. Who gets emotional at a lighthearted double-date? This guy, I guess. I clear my throat, trying to shove down the ball stuck in it.

“Well,” Beck says. “You guys wanna go for a walk or something?”

I nod, thankful for the subject change. “Yeah, I’m good with that. Darlin’?”

“Sounds good to me. What about you, Ro?”

“I’m good with whatever.”

Beck waves down our server and Holden snatches the check before I have a chance to, handing it and his card back to him. “I could have gotten that,” I murmur.

“You did last time.”

After the food is paid for, the four of us walk out into the cool evening. The sun hasn’t quite set yet, but it’s getting close. Holden grabs my hand as we walk down the street.

“So, what date did you—” His voice cuts off as he freezes beside me.

I stop, turning to him. He’s staring at an older man across the street, who is staring right back at him. “Who’s that?” I ask.

Holden doesn’t respond, but now he’s caught the attention of Roman and Beck, who have circled back around to us. “Hold?” Roman questions, concern in his voice.

“That’s Motel Guy,” Holden whispers, voice shaky.

“Motel Guy?” Beck and I ask in unison, but Roman’s face pales.

“What the fuck is Motel Guy doing here?” he asks aloud, though I’m not sure that he’s expecting an answer.

“I’m gonna go give him a piece of my mind,” Holden says, tugging his hand from mine.

Roman shakes his head. “Hold, that’s not a good idea.” But he either doesn’t hear him or he doesn’t care because he’s walking across the street.

Roman glances at him before muttering, “Fuck,” under his breath and taking off after him. Beck and I share a glance. Whoever Motel Guy is, he’s as lost as I am.

“Holden!” Roman shouts, trying to catch up to him.

Beck reacts to the fear in Roman’s voice and takes off, and I waste no time going after him.