Page 10 of Healed Hearts (Mended Hearts #2)

Chapter Nine

Holden

Julian

I really just wanted to thank you again for everything you’ve done.

I smile at my phone, my heart fluttering around.

Me

I really don’t mind at all.

Julian

I’m glad. I enjoy chatting with you, but if I’m bothering you, please let me know.

Me

Not a bother at all. I enjoy talking to you too.

A smile comes to my face. I really like Wren. She’s absolutely adorable. I really like her dad too. But I’ll be keeping that to myself, thank you very much. Nothing good can come from my infatuation with him. Sure, it was the best hookup I’ve ever had, and he definitely didn’t hesitate to text me when I extended the invitation to, but so far, our conversations have been light. Friendly banter. Nothing more. I don’t want to read into it.

Beck walks into the living room, so I pause the TV and turn to him. “What’s up?”

“Can’t find my phone,” he mumbles, glancing around.

“Want me to call it for you?” I ask.

“Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind. I’d ask Roman, but he just woke up. You know he’s impossible to get moving in the morning.” I actually don’t know that, because all of my experience with Roman suggests he’s quick to wake from the smallest sound or even an accidental touch in his sleep. That’s not a problem he seems to have with Beck, though. I bet it’s nice to feel that safe and secure with someone.

“Alright, I’ll call. You go look.”

He nods, turning on his heel and heading back toward the bedrooms.

I dial his number and sit with my phone in my hand, waiting for him to answer, to let me know he’s found it. Instead, I hear his phone ringing from the kitchen. Fucking idiot. I climb off the couch and head to get it. It stops ringing, and his voicemail picks up before I can find it, so I dial him again. I glance around, confused about where the sound is coming from. I finally spot his phone, tucked behind the coffeepot. Fucking caffeine fiend. I pick it up and start to silence the call when I notice the words “Chaos Twink” flashing across the screen. I blink at it, watching as the call ends. His voicemail picks up, and I hang up the phone, then dial it again.

I stare in disbelief as they flash across the screen again.

He has my number saved as Chaos Twink. What. The. Fuck. I’m going to murder him.

I make it two steps out of the kitchen when my brain has an aha moment. Chaos Twink. CT. This fucker has been calling me a chaos twink for months . “Beckett!” I yell, taking off toward his bedroom.

I burst into the room, and he’s kneeling, looking under the bed. “Beckett,” I repeat, my voice deadly calm.

He pops up and looks at me. “I can’t find it. Can you call again?”

“Oh, don’t you worry. I found it.” I smile at him. It feels a little unhinged. Roman stirs, looking at me with sleepy eyes. In seconds, they clear, and he sits straight up, eyes now wide with a hint of terror in them.

“Chaos twink, Beckett? You’ve been calling me a fucking chaos twink?”

He blinks at me, and I watch as he swallows hard a couple of times. “Well, it’s um, you see… I—”

I cross my arms over my chest, glaring down at him. “You’ve been calling me a chaos twink. I’m going to kill you.”

He holds his hands up right as Roman chuckles. I turn my attention to him. “And you,” I spit, narrowing my eyes. “Did you know about this?”

He shakes his head, his shaggy brown hair flopping back and forth with the almost violent motion. “No,” he says, but the way his eyes dart away, and he swallows nervously doesn’t fool anyone, least of all me.

“You’re lying. You’re the worst fucking liar, Roman. Don’t even try to deny it.” I glare at him, but he’s not looking at me, so it doesn’t hit the way I want it to.

“Ooo, he full named you, Roman,” Beck says, so I redirect my ire to him.

“Beckett,” I growl.

He sighs, but then he starts laughing. “Seriously, Hold. Do you see yourself right now? Are you going to deny that you’re a chaos twink?”

“I’m going to deny that I know your whereabouts later when your dad comes to investigate your disappearance, that’s for sure.”

Roman bursts out laughing. I want so badly to join him. The fucking audacity of Beck. I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to keep myself from breaking. But it’s fruitless. Beck stands and climbs back into bed with Ro before patting the spot between them. “Come on, CT. You’re not really mad. I know that face. Give in.”

I take a deep breath through my nose and glare at him. But between Roman’s puppy dog eyes and Beck’s pouty lip, I can’t keep it together. A chuckle breaks free, and I climb up between them, lying on top of the blankets. “I fucking hate you,” I say, but there’s no heat to it, especially not with the way I’m giggling.

“Love you too, CT,” Beck says, a smile in his voice.

Roman can’t stop laughing, and I want to punch him, but honestly, it is funny.

“Are you mad?” Beck asks.

I sigh, finally getting control of myself. “No, I’m not mad. You’re a fucking menace. You know that, right?” I ask.

“Says the chaos twink.”

I groan, covering my face with my hands. “Ro, how could you let him say that about me?”

“I didn’t. I told him it wouldn’t end well,” Ro says. He sounds exasperated, but his voice is so full of love that it makes me smile.

“He also told me he agreed with me,” Beck chimes in.

“That’s enough out of you, Beckett,” Roman says. I look at Beck, and the shock on his face has me laughing more.

Once he’s managed to recover from his disbelief, he turns a pout on me. “I can’t believe you’ve brought my fiancé to the dark side with you, CT.”

I roll my eyes, even though I’m finding the entire thing hilarious. Not that he needs to know that. “Hey, you started it.”

“No. You did. CT was retaliation for Beckett. That means you started it,” Beck says with a grin.

“You thought he was a chaos twink before that, though, even if you didn’t say it,” Roman argues.

Beck gasps. “Whose side are you on here, beautiful?”

Roman glances at Beck over me, an incredulous expression on his face. “I think that’s pretty clear, Beck. Whatever side allows me to keep my life.”

Beck grumbles and I lose it, laughing so hard it shakes the bed. “I love you guys,” I say, giggling around the words.

Beck pats the top of my head. “We love you, too, CT. Now, who’s making breakfast?” he asks, and before anyone can answer, he touches his fingertip to his nose and says, “Not it.”

I turn to Roman, and he’s already got his finger on his nose. Fucking assholes. “Hmm, I think I’ll make breakfast,” I say. I have a huge smile on my face as I wiggle off the end of the bed to go start on breakfast. I’m so glad I have both of them. I’m never going to call Beck by his real name again, though. I hope he realizes that.

After my last shift of the week, I wait in the ER for Beck. This has been the longest week, and I’m so ready to get home to start my stretch of four days off. I lean against the wall, watching as Beck gives me a little wave and holds his finger up like he’s telling me just a minute.

While I glance around the ER, I let my mind drift back to Wren and Julian. I really like that sweet girl. She’s adorable, and she always lights up so much when she sees me. It seems like Julian does too, but I’m trying to let myself live in denial of that.

Peds is… I wouldn’t say harder than working in the ER, but in some ways it is. Kids aren’t as good at explaining what’s wrong as adults are. But on the flip side, they aren’t as volatile as adults can be. But then, they also need more handholding and one-on-one care. Truthfully, though, that’s where I thrive. I’m also really fond of the patient ratios. Some days, I’m with the same patient the entire day. It really gives me the opportunity to customize their care, and make sure they are getting all they need without being stretched too thin. It also gives me the opportunity to really connect with them and learn their cases, whereas in the ER I may be running a code one minute and cleaning up vomit the next. Overall, I’m really enjoying it, even during the harder moments.

I glance down at my phone. I’m only mildly disappointed that I don’t have a message from Julian. I shouldn’t be. He doesn’t owe me anything, but I’ve gotten quite used to our damn near constant stream of texts. Well, as constant as they can be given my job.

“Ready, Hold?” Beck asks, startling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m good. Let’s go, Beckett.” He groans, but doesn’t say anything. I haven’t let up all week. It’s no less than he deserves, though, so I smirk at him and follow him through the main doors into the parking lot.

When we get home, the smell of my favorite meal in existence—stuffed peppers—greets me as we walk through the door. “Oh fuck, I love when Ro cooks.”

“You know,” Beck says, “He couldn’t cook at all when we were kids.”

Roman laughs as he walks into the living room. “You fucking wish that was true, Mr. I Can Make Breakfast Foods and Spaghetti.”

“Again, I ask, whose side are you on, beautiful?”

“And I’ll tell you again,” Roman says, walking across the room. “Whatever side keeps me alive.” He smiles at Beck and pulls him into a lingering kiss. I don’t care for the strange feeling I’ve been getting in my stomach every time they kiss in front of me. Or that the strange feeling is always accompanied by the image of Julian’s big, dark brown eyes floating in my head. I quickly walk past them and head into the dining room.

Roman has the table set with wine glasses and all. My heart drops out for a second until I realize the bottle he has on the table is sparkling grape juice. I fucking love him. I giggle, then pull my phone out and snap a picture to send to Julian.

I feel rather than see Ro and Beck come into the room behind me. “So, what’s the special occasion?” I ask, pulling my chair out to sit down. Because be real, this is my favorite meal, and I’m starving .

“You are,” Roman says with a grin as Beck pulls his chair out for him and he sits down.

“Me?” I ask, a little shocked. “Why me?”

“I’m really proud of how hard you’re working and how well you’re adjusting to peds. Lydia came into the center today and hung out for a while, and she was bragging about you so much. So, I wanted to do something special for you. Even if it is just your favorite dinner and some sparkling grape juice.”

My heart swells, and my eyes burn. “Thanks, Ro. I really appreciate that. You didn’t have to, though,” I say, trying to choke back my emotion.

“Wrong. I love you, Hold. I wouldn’t be here without you.” After a few moments, he adds, “You’re going to be my best man, right?”

“Stop trying to make me cry, Ro.” Tears are already spilling over my lower lashes, though, so the warning doesn’t matter. “Of course I will.”

Beck gasps and we both turn to him. “Sorry, sorry. Please continue. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

I laugh, thankful that the attention is no longer on me. “Nah, I need to know what you’re over there gasping about, Beckett.”

He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Right after I asked Roman on our first date, Riley was at my house, and she said she was going to be my best man. Now, I have to call that pain in the ass and request that she follow through.”

Roman laughs. “Before our first date, huh?”

Beck shrugs. “What can I say? I knew from day one.”

I watch as they smile at each other. There’s so much love between them that it makes my stomach twist. When Beck asked me to help him propose to Roman, I had a moment of weakness. I let my mask slip and told Beck that if the two of them couldn’t make it, I was doomed. I meant that. They’re so perfect for each other. Julian’s face pops into my mind, and my stomach somersaults. Oof. Don’t like that. “Stop being so gross. You’re ruining my appetite.”

My voice pulls them out of their trance and they both turn back to their meals. Thank God.

I’m pulled from a deep sleep by my phone going off beside my bed. I crack my eyes open, thinking it’s my alarm, when I remember that I definitely shut them off before I laid down. It stops and then starts up again almost immediately, so I reach over and pick it up.

I blink at the bright light in the dark, trying to get my eyes to adjust, when I realize it’s Julian calling me. Why the hell would he be calling me so late? I answer. “Hello?”

“Holden,” he says, relief dripping from the word. “Thank you so much for answering. Something’s wrong with Wren. I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do.” His voice cracks, and I sit up, suddenly completely awake and alert.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“She’s breathing strange? I think. I don’t know. I promise I didn’t go to Doctor Google, but she has more bruises now. On her back. I noticed them earlier when I was giving her a bath. And she’s pale. Way too pale. I don’t… I don’t know what to do. Why isn’t she getting better? She was supposed to be getting better.” His sentence ends with a sharp inhale.

I don’t know what possesses me to do it. This is so not my job, and I should tell him to call an ambulance if he’s worried. But he sounds… awful, and I can’t take that. So I throw the blankets off my body and spring from my bed. “I’m coming to you,” I say.

“What?” he asks. “Why?”

Fuck, I wish he wouldn’t have asked me that because truth be told, I have no idea, but it feels like something I have to do.

“Julian,” I say, ignoring his question. “I need you to try to count her respiratory rate. Can you do that?”

“How? How do I do that?” Goddamn, he sounds wrecked. It makes my heart clench.

“Do you have a watch with a second hand?”

“Yeah. Yes. There’s a clock on my bedroom wall.”

“Okay, count each breath she takes and watch the clock. When it hits sixty seconds, let me know how many breaths she’s taken.”

I can hear him counting under his breath, but I mostly ignore it as I throw a pair of sweats and a t-shirt on and start packing a bag with my blood pressure machine and my stethoscope in it. The cuff is probably going to be way too big on her arm, but it’ll be better than nothing.

“Forty-three, I think,” he says, and my stomach drops out. Fuck. That’s high.

“What’s she doing?” I ask, hopeful that she’s been up playing, and he’s just freaking out for nothing.

“Sleeping.”

Double fuck.

“I’m on my way. Stay on the phone with me. But, Julian, if she gets worse, I want you to hang up and call an ambulance. If that happens, I’ll meet you at the hospital instead, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispers. Fuck, he sounds terrified.

“It’s going to be okay,” I say, but I have no right to be saying that because truthfully, I don’t know. There has to be something else going on. I was surprised when her folate came back low, but I read the results myself. And I did the same with her test results last week. She should be better now, not deteriorating.

Thankfully, Julian only lives about fifteen minutes from me, and I’m pulling into his driveway in no time. “I’m here,” I say, already shutting my car off and climbing out with my bag.

“Door’s unlocked. We’re in my room,” Julian says quietly. He’s more calm than before. Almost unnaturally calm.

Wren’s asleep in Julian’s lap when I get to them, and as his eyes connect with mine, his expression almost bowls me over. His eyes are red, his face tear-soaked, but he looks calm otherwise.

I rush over, pulling my stethoscope out of my bag, and lift her shirt without even explaining to Julian what I’m doing. Truthfully, she looks worse than he let on, and it’s freaking me the fuck out. Listening closely to her heartbeat, I count the beats two separate times, my own heart sinking as I do. It’s entirely too high, and it’s got me more nervous than I’d like to admit. I reach out, touching first her hands and then her feet. Ice-cold, despite the warmth in the room. She hasn’t stirred once since I’ve been touching her.

“Julian,” I say, looking up at him to find him already watching me. “She needs to go to the hospital. Get her stuff together. I’m going with you.”

Something flashes across his face. “I… I took a Xanax. I was having a panic attack and I… fuck, I fucked up. I can’t drive like this. It makes me so drowsy.” He sounds ashamed, but he shouldn’t be. That explains the unusual calm, though.

“I can drive. You get her stuff together and let’s go.”

He nods, gently lifting her off him and laying her down on the bed. He stands and grabs a small bag from in front of the closet door. “I’ve had this ready since the first time I brought her when they wanted us to come back after her first blood draw.”

I nod, leaning over to pick her limp body up. Once she’s tucked against my chest, I head out of the room and walk straight to Julian’s car. He’s right on my heels. I get her buckled into her seat, and she doesn’t even move. Fuck fuck fuck. This is not good. Julian climbs into the back seat and sits beside Wren, his body almost too big to be contained in the cramped space.

I force a deep breath into my lungs. Both of us freaking out won’t do any good. This is my fucking job. I can stay calm. I can. But, fuck. I like them both so much. With sudden clarity, I realize why we aren’t allowed to work on loved ones.

That thought stops me dead in my tracks, hand on the door handle to open the driver’s side door. Julian and Wren are not my loved ones. That thought shouldn’t even be in my head. He did trust me with his daughter, though. I need to be worthy of that trust. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I scramble into the car and pull out of the driveway.