Page 11 of Healed Hearts (Mended Hearts #2)

Chapter Ten

Julian

I glance at the back of Holden’s head as we speed down the highway. I’m so glad he answered. He’s been quiet, but given the way he’s white-knuckling the steering wheel, I’d say he’s slightly panicked. Not that I can really blame him, since I called him in the middle of the night freaking the fuck out myself. I don’t know what he heard when he listened to her heartbeat, but the way his face paled, it probably wasn’t good.

If it wasn’t for the Xanax in my system, I’d really be freaking the fuck out. I’m still anxious, but it’s a low-level buzz under my skin that’s barely touching me. Like a plastic sheet separating me from the panic.

God, I’m so glad he showed up. I really wanted to see what he thought and if I should take her in, but then he volunteered to come and no way was I going to argue about that.

The second we pull into a parking spot, he’s springing into motion. He unbuckles Wren and gets her out of her seat, holding her protectively to his chest. I follow him into the hospital, feeling wildly out of my element and, quite honestly, a little disconnected from my own body.

As he steps into the ER, he starts talking to the lady at the nurses’ station, rattling off things about respiratory rates and tachycardia, and possible anemia. I don’t understand half of what he’s saying, but as he talks, the lady’s eyes widen.

“I’m taking her to peds,” Holden says. “Call them and let them know I’m coming up.”

She nods, picking up the phone beside her on the desk, and he takes off toward the elevators. I feel like such a shit dad right now. I’m half out of it on Xanax because I couldn’t handle things, and now I really can’t fucking handle things.

When the elevator stops, Holden wastes no time, taking off in quick strides that my bogged down body has a hard time keeping up with. Fuck, I shouldn’t have taken that pill. He turns the corner and there’s already a nurse waiting for us. She ushers him into a room, and he doesn’t slow down until he’s got Wren lying on the bed.

The room becomes a flurry of activity, and the woman who met us in the front grabs Wren’s hand, but Holden snaps at her, taking over whatever she was doing on his own. I watch as he lifts Wren’s middle finger and does something to it, and a bubble of blood rises to the surface. On second thought, he’s clearly got this under control, and I’m really fucking glad I’m medicated.

Within minutes, Wren has an IV, a blood pressure cuff on her arm, an oxygen mask over her face, and is connected to a machine showing her heart rate. I feel a little unsteady on my feet, so I stumble backward, and when I feel the wall against my back, I slide down until my ass hits the floor.

I stare at the hospital bed, images of my life three years ago when Wren was only six months old flashing through my mind. She was supposed to be getting better. I really don’t understand what’s happening to her. I startle when Holden drops to his knees in front of me. His face itself is impassive, but his eyes are burning with fear. “Julian,” he says.

“Yeah?” I croak out.

“Wren is severely anemic. I thought so, at your house, given her symptoms, but a blood test just confirmed it.”

I nod slowly. “Okay, so what does that mean?”

Anger flashes across his face before he forces it back down. It doesn’t leave his expressive eyes, though. He leans in so close I can feel his warm breath on my skin. “It means,” he says quietly. “That there is no fucking way this is a folate deficiency. She needs a transfusion.”

“A transfusion?” I ask, trying to make sense of his words. “Like a… like a blood transfusion?”

“Yes,” he says grimly. “A blood transfusion.”

“Okay. Yes. Whatever she needs.”

Holden stands, and I stare at Wren’s small body, with all the machines attached to her, as someone hangs a bag of blood on her IV pole. Holy shit. I can’t believe this is happening right now.

Within a few minutes, everyone has cleared the room and I watch in silence as Holden drags a love seat type chair from the edge of the room toward Wren’s hospital bed. He gets it as close as he can and then he turns to me. “Wanna come sit by her?”

“Can I? I wanted to stay out of the way earlier.”

He gives me a soft smile. “You won’t be in the way. Come on.”

I stand, stretching out my aching joints. I’m really too old to be sitting on the floor like that. The second I’m settled in front of Wren, I reach out and take her hand. It feels cold, so I close it fully within my grasp to try warming it up some.

Holden sits down on her bed so she’s between us, his eyes glued to the monitors the entire time.

I have no idea how much time has passed when Dr. Mays walks into the room. He comes to a stop at the foot of her bed and checks her vitals, saying something to Holden. Holden stares at him with a blank expression, then shakes his head.

The doctor turns to me. “Has she been taking her medication?”

I nod. Religiously. Every single day. We haven’t missed even one dose.

He narrows his eyes at me like he doesn’t believe me. “If she was taking her medication, she wouldn’t be this sick right now.”

Guilt seizes my chest, his words hitting me like a physical blow. Holden moves lightning fast until he’s standing between me and the doctor. “Her folate levels are within normal range. Whatever is causing this is not that. You’ve got it wrong.”

The doctor peers down his nose at Holden, but he doesn’t back down or flinch away. “No. If they were normal, she wouldn’t be in this situation. Clearly, you read the results wrong.”

“Excuse me?” Holden asks, disbelief creeping into his tone. “ I read the results wrong? No. I just had her re-tested. The lab already has the results back to us, and her levels are back within the normal range. They have been for over a week. Her hemoglobin and hematocrit, however, are incredibly low.”

“Give me the chart,” Dr. Mays says, holding out his hand impatiently. He mutters something under his breath that I don’t hear at all, but Holden must because he lets out a cold, terrifying laugh.

“ I’m incompetent? You had a full medical history on this child. You knew her eating habits. Sure, the folate came back low. But it was minimally low at best. Nothing that would have even pinged my radar unless it was a result we had gotten multiple weeks in a row. Something else is going on here, and you want to deny it and insinuate that my patient’s father is a liar?”

He hands over the chart, and the doctor looks it over for a couple of seconds before closing it and turning a glare on Holden. “She needs time for her body to come back online.”

Holden laughs again. “Absolutely not. Something deeper is happening here. You know it, and I know it. You’re seriously going to stand here in front of me and push the narrative that low folate levels two weeks ago that have been within normal range for over a week are the cause of her needing a blood transfusion? With all due respect, I think the fuck not.”

Oh, lord. He is fucking fierce . And more than that, he’s fiercely defending my daughter . He’s standing toe to toe with this asshole doctor, not even fucking flinching, hands on his hips like he’s daring this guy to make one move in the wrong direction. My heart is pounding in a way that has fuck all to do with anxiety and everything to do with him .

The doctor rolls his eyes. “Then what do you think we should do?”

“Um, how about your fucking job?” Holden says, absolute disdain dripping from his voice. Dr. Mays sneers down at him for a second and then turns on his heel, leaving the room. If I wasn’t watching Holden so closely, I’d miss the way his shoulders drop the second the doctor clears the door, all the fight leaving him at once.

He stands motionless for a second, but then he turns the light off and walks toward me. I have no idea what the expression on my face is, but if it’s showing any of the emotions inside me, he’s got a front-row seat to the awe and fucking admiration I have for him right now.

“Can I sit?” he asks quietly, and I nod rapidly.

He sits down beside me, so close I can feel the heat of his body and smell the citrusy scent that seems to live under his skin. I breathe in deeply, trying to commit it to memory without looking like a creep. He sits stiffly for a second, but then he moves his leg, so slightly I barely register it until it’s pressed against mine. His body seems to relax, and he draws in a deep breath. My stomach does a violent flip as the warmth from his body seeps into my skin.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“What for?” I whisper back.

“I shouldn’t have yelled like that.” He turns his face toward me, so I turn mine too. Our eyes connect and a small smile lights up his face. He looks fucking exhausted, and guilt tries to burrow its way under my skin.

“Thank you for everything,” I say. “I shouldn’t have called you.”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m glad you did.”

He turns his gaze back to the monitors, scooting a little closer until his arm is pressed against mine. My heart skips a beat, but I try hard to act unaffected. I’m not sure what he’s doing, but I have no interest in asking him to stop. I turn my attention back to Wren. “Do you think she’s going to be okay?” I ask.

He sighs. “The transfusion will help, but we need to figure out why she needed it to begin with.”

“Is it… is it my fault?” I ask quietly.

“No,” he answers. “It’s not your fault. You did everything right.”

We sit in silence for a while. The steady beep of Wren’s heart rate and the blood pressure machine going off are the only sounds in the room. I startle when Holden lays his head on my upper arm, his wavy hair tickling my skin. He doesn’t speak, though, so neither do I. I just keep my eyes trained on Wren, trying not to move a muscle. He doesn’t move, either.

A few minutes later, Holden’s breathing evens out and his head relaxes further on my arm. My breath catches in my throat, my mouth going dry at the fact that he fell asleep on me. Again.

I hold Wren’s hand, watching her relaxed face, and soak in the feel of Holden sleeping on me until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.

I jolt awake at the sound of Wren’s voice. She’s sitting up in bed, staring at me. There’s color to her cheeks again, and the exhausted cast that has been in her eyes for weeks has almost completely lifted. I start to stand when a groan sounds from my lap. I freeze, glancing down to see a head full of wavy brown hair. Oh hell. Holden’s head is tucked against my thigh, his face buried in my stomach, dead asleep. His legs are stretched out over the arm of the small couch, dangling in the air in what looks like an unnatural, uncomfortable position.

He nuzzles into my stomach and a wave of heat rushes through my body.

Wren giggles. “Holden sleeping, Daddy.”

I chuckle, so fucking relieved to hear that sound, and lift my gaze to her. “Yeah, he sure is. How are you feeling?” I ask her.

“Hungry,” she answers.

Relief flies through me again. She’s barely eaten in days.

Holden sits up with a gasp. “Ugh, my back. Who let me sleep like that?” He glances around in confusion, a pink tint on his cheeks. I can’t be sure if it’s a blush or from sleeping, but either way, it’s so fucking adorable that it takes my breath away.

“Same. I slept sitting straight up,” I say, with a chuckle. “I’m assuming at some point I had my head flopped to the side because my neck is screaming at me.”

Holden laughs. It sounds a little unnaturally high, and it brings a smile to my face. “Sorry for making you my pillow,” he murmurs, the pink darkening. Ahh, so it is a blush.

“No big deal,” I say, smiling. What a nice turn of events. Holden’s sleeping in my lap, and Wren’s bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“Hungry, Daddy,” Wren says, a bit louder this time. I know I have about three point five seconds to get food in her, or she’s going to be very unhappy with me.

“Give me a second, baby girl. I’ll see what I can do.”

I start to stand, but Holden beats me to it, jumping off the couch. “I’ll go get her a breakfast tray.”

“You don’t have to.” The look he shoots me has me raising my hands in surrender. “Thank you. I appreciate everything you’ve done for us.”

He nods sharply and turns, heading out of the room. I watch him as he leaves, then turn back to Wren. “I’m so glad you’re feeling better, baby girl.”

She smiles brightly at me. The only thing she has left attached to her is her IV and the machine keeping track of her heart rate, which is a good sign, I feel. But fuck, what do I know? I’ll ask Holden when he comes back. Or, I guess, someone else if they come in before him.

Wren is staring at the TV, which is playing SpongeBob. It was off when I fell asleep, so I guess someone must have turned it on. I don’t even remember anyone coming in here through the night, but that doesn’t surprise me. I could sleep through a tornado after taking Xanax.

The sound of the door opening catches Wren’s attention, and she perks up when Holden walks in, holding a tray with what looks like pancakes and fresh fruit. “Look what I got for you,” he says with a grin.

He pulls a bed tray over and slides it into position before setting the tray on it. Wren doesn’t even hesitate, picking up a strawberry off the tray and popping it into her mouth before Holden even has it situated. He opens her milk for her and sticks a swirly straw in the carton before sitting on the end of her bed. He watches her with a smile on his face as she absolutely tears into the food, getting syrup all over her face and hands. My heart is currently trying to beat its way out of my chest. I know this is his job, and he’s clearly very good at it, but try telling that to my heart.

“Is it yummy?” I ask as she pauses to take a drink of her milk.

“Yeah,” she says, then giggles at the way the milk goes through the straw. Holden laughs right along with her, and my stomach clenches. This man is… whew. I wonder if it would be presumptuous of me to ask him on a date.

We both watch her in silence as she clears her entire plate. Holden gives her leg a gentle pat and stands. “I better run home and change. I’m off today. Today and the next three, actually, but I’ll come back.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I rush to assure him. He’s already done so much more than he had to.

“Oh. Well, if you don’t want me to, that’s alright.” He tries for a smile, but it misses the mark. “Actually, why would you want me here? That’s… yeah, sorry for overstepping.”

I stand abruptly. “No!” I almost yell, before taking a calming breath. “No,” I repeat, softer this time. “If you want to come back, you can. I don’t want to put you out, though.”

He pauses, something flashing across his face. “Crap. I don’t even have my car.” He groans, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m going to have to call Ro. Ugh.”

I’m a little confused, so I ask, “Is that a… bad thing?”

He does some complicated head shake and nod all in one. “Yes, and no. He’s a meddler, and if I have him take me to my car, he’s going to recognize the address.”

“Um, how is he going to recognize the address?”

“Oh… I dropped my location to him. He was the one who called me right before I left. We have a system. If I go out, I pin my location. If I don’t reach out, he comes after me.”

I smile, glad that he has someone to check in on him. Given the way he stood toe to toe with that asshole doctor last night, I doubt he needs someone to take care of him, but I also saw the way his shoulders dropped in relief when the confrontation was done. Sure, he definitely can stand up for himself, but I get the feeling he doesn’t really like to. “We’ll probably be here for a while, yeah?” I ask.

“Hopefully. I’d like for them to figure out what the fu—heck is going on,” he says, darting his eyes to Wren before bringing his attention to me.

I laugh. He’s too damn adorable. “Okay, so take my car.”

His eyes bug out a little. “That may raise more questions than answers, honestly.”

“So take it to get yours. As long as you don’t mind bringing us back home later?”

“No, I can definitely do that,” he says with a blinding smile in my direction.