Page 23 of Healed Hearts (Mended Hearts #2)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Julian

W hen I wake up, the bed is empty, but there are faint sounds of laughter coming from the living room. Holden and Wren’s for sure. I’d recognize their voices anywhere, but also Beck and Roman’s as well. I lie there for a minute, a smile on my face, listening to them. When I sit up and look around the room, I notice a toothbrush, still in its package, and a note.

Good morning. Wren woke up, and I didn’t want to wake you. We’re off on an adventure. Here’s a new toothbrush. Toothpaste is on the bathroom sink. Join us when you wake up. -Hold

I can’t keep the goofy smile off my face as I throw the blankets off myself and grab the toothbrush. Once I’ve brushed my teeth, I head down the hallway toward the living room. I have no idea what I was expecting to see, but it was not an honest to God fort mansion . Blankets are stretched across the room from wall to wall, with what appear to be different rooms and tunnels. How the fuck did they even make this? I hear Wren let out a squeal, and then Holden laughs.

Beck, I’m pretty sure, says, “I’m coming to get you, Wren,” dragging the words out in a sing-songy voice.

“No, no, no!” she yells, but her voice is full of laughter. I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing.

“Uncle Ro will save you, Wren,” Roman says. She giggles. Holden and Beck let out raucous peals of laughter.

Uncle Ro? Uncle Ro.

Holy fuck.

“Save me, Hold!” Beck shouts dramatically. “I’m being attacked by a tiny tot.”

“You’re on your own. I’m on the side of the tiny tot.”

“Unka Ro,” Wren says, and my heart stops in my fucking chest. Have I already said it once? It bears repeating. Holy. Fuck.

There’s a crash and an, “Ouch,” from Beck. “Jeez, I just hit my head on the table. Should have moved it.”

Holden absolutely loses it—laughing harder than I’ve ever heard, so hard in fact that he snorts, which sets Roman off. Then Beck and Wren. I’m pretty sure she has no idea what she’s laughing at, but the sound of their chorus of happiness fills my entire heart and soul with joy. I really don’t know what alternate world I’ve landed in, but this, all this, has to be too good to be true, right? No way people like these three actually exist in the world. But here they are, playing with my daughter in what’s, honestly, the most impressive fort I’ve ever seen in my entire life—giggling and laughing like overgrown children.

The blankets shake, and I watch as they come tumbling down one at a time until the mansion fort is no more and there’s nothing but blankets covering the furniture and the four of them.

“Well, crap,” Holden says.

“Yeah, crap,” Wren repeats.

“Oh man, Julian’s gonna get you for that one,” Beck says. But nah, not a chance in hell. Maybe I’m not the world’s best dad, but I do occasionally cuss around Wren. I do try not to, of course, but sometimes they slip out.

The blankets start moving and Holden’s head of messy waves pops up, with the other three following close behind. It doesn’t seem like they see me standing here, so I speak up. “So, Hold?” He startles at my voice and turns to face me with wide eyes. “Is this the chaos twink behavior I’ve been hearing so much about?” I ask. Wren notices me and stumbles her way across the blankets to run toward me.

His eyes narrow in an adorably playful way as I reach down to pick Wren up. “Oh, you are so going to pay for that!”

“I don’t think I’ll be paying for that at all, honestly. Beckett here is the reason you got the name. I’m just starting to see the pattern.”

Beck gasps in outrage as Holden and Roman laugh. Roman clasps his hands together like he’s praying. “Forever grateful that I get beautiful and Ro. Amen.”

Holden turns to him with a glare. “Oh, I’m sure I could come up with something special just for you, Roman. Don’t you dare doubt that for even a second.”

Roman returns his look, not at all affected or worried. “If you were going to, don’t you think you would have before now?”

Holden crosses his arms over his chest. “I could be persuaded to make an exception. It was one thing to not dissuade Beck from calling me that to begin with. But you’re skating the line with agreeing with him. And you,” he says, suddenly turning those green eyes on me. “You don’t get to join the dark side.”

I open my mouth to tell him the only side I’m on is his when a thoughtful expression crosses his face. “Well, you can call Beck Beckett if you want to.”

Beck scoffs. “Wow, Hold. Where’s the loyalty?”

“Um, excuse me? Loyalty? You started this. Not me.”

I can’t help the smile on my face. I love seeing him this way. Although, it does kind of suck that I don’t get to see this side of him very often. It’s usually reserved for his friends and occasionally, an asshole doctor. To be fair, I think I’d rather have that soft vulnerability he shows me instead, anyway. It makes me feel like his safe place, and I love that.

Beck stands, reaching out to take Roman’s hand to pull him off the ground. “Let’s go make breakfast, beautiful.” Roman smiles up at him with so much love that it makes my stomach flip, but when I turn to Holden, he’s watching me in almost the same way.

“Unka Ro making breakfast, Daddy?” Wren asks, pulling my attention back to her.

“It seems that way, baby girl. Are you hungry?”

She nods as Roman and Beck walk past us into the kitchen. Holden stands and comes over to us, stopping in front of me. “Good morning, darlin’. I hope you slept well.”

“I did. Did you?”

I reach out with my free hand, pulling him into my side. “I really did.”

“I’m gonna go help with breakfast. You wanna come too?”

“Lead the way.”

Holden worked the last two days. The first night he stayed with me. We cooked dinner together after his shift, and he sat with me while I read Wren a bedtime story. We showered together and slept. Work kicked his ass, and he was exhausted, but last night he went home. He wanted to get caught up on laundry and spend some time with Roman and Beck. I get it, and I understand it, but it still sucks. I miss him so much. It’s, frankly, a little ridiculous.

I glance at the clock again, willing it to move faster, but it doesn’t. He plans on coming back here tonight, and as previously established, I’m ridiculous. I’ve been sleeping on my own for three years, but now it’s like I don’t know how to relax without his weight pressing down on me.

He is the cuddliest person I’ve ever met in my life. If he’s not sprawled out on top of me, he wants me wrapped fully around him. If I roll in my sleep, he’s adjusting until he’s Velcroed back to me. Wren has always been pretty chill and self-contained and has slept best on her own. Co-sleeping was never something we did until she started feeling bad. But that was mostly my desire to keep her with me. Occasionally, she’ll wake up in the middle of the night and come into my room, wanting to climb into bed with me, but that’s a rare occurrence.

Even Maya, who enjoyed physical touch, wasn’t big on night cuddles. She wanted her space. She was fine resting her head on my chest for a minute, but by the time she was ready to sleep, she rolled over and that was that.

As strange as it is to have someone who wants to be attached to me all the time, I’m finding that I enjoy it. I actually more than enjoy it, since it’s almost impossible for me to sleep now without Holden.

I’m fucking exhausted, and it’s one hundred percent because he wasn’t in bed with me last night.

My phone buzzes, so I lean over to pick it up.

Ruby

Can I have Wren for the weekend? I’d like if you and Holden would come for dinner as well.

I smile at my phone. She hasn’t had her in over a week, so I know she’s dying to see her.

Me

I’ll have to ask Holden how he feels about dinner. He’s worked today and the last two, so I want to make sure he’s not too tired. Plus, it will be late.

Ruby

That’s totally fine. I can plan for a late dinner if he wants to come. What time would it be?

I exit off our messages and text Holden.

Me

Ruby wants Wren to stay the night and wants to know if you’d like to come for dinner?

His response comes in within a few minutes.

Holden

That would be great. I should be at your house by 7:30. We can leave as soon as I change?

Me

Sounds perfect, darlin’. I love you.

Holden

:) I love you too.

Is it appropriate for a six-foot-five-inch tall man to giggle and kick his feet? Because every time he tells me he loves me, that’s exactly what I have to resist the urge to do. I rub a hand down my face, trying to wipe the goofy grin there away. Have I mentioned how ridiculous I am? I shake my head at myself and go back to Ruby.

Me

He said yes. We’ll be there around 8. :)

Ruby

Great! We’ll see you then!

I glance at the clock. Only two hours to go. Surely I can make it for two hours.

I’m finishing up packing Wren’s toys she wants to bring with her when I hear Holden’s car pulling into the driveway. I can’t help the smile that knowing he’s here brings. Hopefully I can convince him to stay with me tonight since he didn’t last night, and Wren won’t be here.

I turn to Wren. “Holden’s here.”

Her eyes widen, and she jumps up, taking off through her bedroom door.

I pause, listening for him to come in. The door opens, and then she’s screaming his name. “Oh my. There’s my pretty girl. What a nice thing to come home to. Come here.”

My heart melts. Honestly, all of me does. I’m surprised I’m not a boneless pile of goo on the floor. Is there anything better as a parent than someone loving your child?

“Where’s Daddy?” he asks her.

“In my room,” she giggles. “I’m staying with Mamaw.”

“Oh, you are?” Holden asks, excitement for her clear in his voice as I hear them walking toward her room.

“Yep. Wanna see Unka Ro too.”

Holden chuckles. “I love you, kid. You’re too much.”

Fuck.

They step into the room, and Holden’s eyes seek mine out. When they connect, he gives me a breathtaking smile. I feel my lips tilting up, but I can’t speak or do anything because he looks so fucking stunning. It’s like my brain goes blank for a second.

“You know, I’m surprised that Uncle Ro and Uncle Beck haven’t tried to kidnap her yet.”

My eyebrows shoot up. “Would they really do that?”

“Um, yes. Those two are menaces. Beck pouted all night because he hadn’t seen her in two days. Ridiculous.”

That’s insane to me. They don’t even know me. I really don’t understand how they’re so accepting.

“What are Beck’s parents like?” I find myself asking as Holden sits down cross-legged in front of me with Wren on his lap.

“Amazing. His dad’s a cop. Chief of police now. And obviously, his mom is a nurse. When Ro was eighteen and he and Beck were together, they saved him. Beck did too, of course. But so did his parents. His parents have basically adopted me as well.”

“Roman has bad parents?” I ask softly.

He sighs. “The worst. His dad abused him. Pretty severely. Did you notice the scar above his eye?”

I nod because yeah, I had. He genuinely has supermodel good looks. I wouldn’t say the scar detracts from that, but it definitely seems out of place.

“That was from his dad. He broke his orbital bone. It’s not exactly kid friendly,” he says, nodding to Wren, who’s quietly playing with her blocks in his lap. “But I can tell you more later.”

“He won’t mind?” I don’t want Holden to tell me anything that Roman wouldn’t want me to know. I want the two of them to like me. I want to feel like I actually fit into their little mismatched group.

Holden shakes his head. “No, he won’t mind. Honestly, he’d tell you himself if you asked him. He actually gives talks about what he went through at schools. He used to work for a non-profit that helps kids like him and me before we came here, but he started his own with his dad’s life insurance money.”

That surprises me. “I guess I assumed Roman worked in medicine too.”

“Nope,” he says, “Hell, I wouldn’t even be working in medicine if not for him. He paid for my nursing school.”

His eyes go wide as he realizes he just cussed in front of Wren. He drops his gaze to her, but she’s lost in her own world, playing. “I’m sorry,” he says when he looks back at me.

I laugh. I can’t help it. He’s too damn adorable. “Wanna know a secret?” I ask.

He nods, eyes still wide as he stares at me. “It’s not the first time she’s heard that word. She’ll be okay.”

“Still, I need to watch my mouth.”

I shrug. I have bigger fish to fry than cuss words. “Are you ready to head out for dinner?” I ask, not willing to let him dwell on it. “We can talk more about all this later if you’d like. Or we don’t have to talk at all,” I add, staring at him pointedly.

He chuckles, reaching up to cover Wren’s ears with his hands. There’s not a single chance she has any idea what that means, but his concern is adorable. He does nod, though, so I’ll take the win.

“Alright, then,” I say, patting my thighs before standing up. “Baby girl, you ready to go see Mamaw and Poppy?”

She jumps off Holden’s lap with an excited nod, taking off without so much as a backward glance at either of us. Holden scoffs as he watches her clear the bedroom door. “She could at least pretend a little that she doesn’t want to go.”

“You’re preaching to the choir. How do you think I feel when all I hear is Holden, Holden, Holden all day, every day? It’s bad enough missing you on my own, but then she has to bring you up every twelve seconds.”

He shrugs. “I’m surprisingly okay with that , actually.” The mischievous glint in his eyes, and the pleased tilt of his lips are almost too much, so I reach down to help him up and then kiss the smug look right off his face.

The second we step through the front door at home, Holden is on me—standing on his tiptoes, pressing his lips to mine. His hands come up to grip my shirt in my favorite way, making me smile into the kiss.

“This is ridiculous,” he mumbles. “Why you gotta be so tall?”

I chuckle. “My bad, darlin’. What can I do to help?”

He drops back down on his feet and looks up at me, hands on his hips. The green fire of his eyes should not be turning me on, and neither should that indignant glare he’s giving me, but it really so is. I reach down to adjust myself in my jeans, and his eyes follow the movement.

“Are you glaring at me because I’m tall, darlin’?” I ask, trying and failing not to laugh.

“No, I’m glaring at you because you always seem so keen to pick me up and pack me around, except for the one time I actually need you to.”

“My apologies,” I say, infusing as much sincerity into my words as I can. He rolls his eyes, letting out a little irritated huff. I swoop in and lift him from the ground, flinging him over my shoulder. He gasps in surprise, but his laughter rings out through the room right after.

“Again, not what I meant,” he says, still laughing.

“Yeah, yeah. And again, you weren’t specific.”

After carrying him into my room, I drop him on the bed. The smile on his face is too damn good. I love seeing him look so happy. Something flashes across his face, his smile dropping. My heart sinks right along with it. “What’s wrong?”

“Were you serious before? About, um, me topping you?”

My cock jerks at his words, my stomach flipping in excitement.

“Oh yes, I so was.”

His throat bobs with a heavy swallow. “Are you sure I won’t hurt you?”

I nod. “I’m positive. It’s all about communication. If you do something that hurts or that I don’t like, I’ll tell you.”

He’s silent for a moment—searching my face. Finally, he nods. “If you’re sure. I… I want to try.”

Oh, fuck yes. I keep my face neutral. I don’t want him to feel pressured or like I’ll be disappointed if this doesn’t work out. But just the fact that he’s willing to try? That he’s willing to allow himself the opportunity to approach something that could be potentially triggering? And that he’s willing to do it with me? Yeah, that feels really good. Better than any sex ever could.

“You promise you’ll stop me if I hurt you?”

“I promise. You won’t hurt me, though.”

He doesn’t look convinced. “How are you so confident about that?”

I sit down beside him and pull him into my lap. He buries his face against my shoulder and lets out a heavy breath.

“I’m sure about that because I know you. You don’t have it in you to hurt someone like that. I trust you, Holden.”

“Okay,” he whispers.

He lifts his head, green eyes peering into mine like I hold all the answers in the world. I don’t, but I know that he won’t hurt me. It’s not even a question for me. He needs to trust himself, though. I dip my head to kiss him and before our lips even connect, his hands are gripping my shirt.

Jesus, I love that.