Page 29 of Healed Hearts (Mended Hearts #2)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Julian

W hen I open my eyes, I’m immediately greeted by emerald green framed in dark lashes. “Now there’s a sight I could get used to,” I murmur. Holden gives me a shy smile and drops his face, hiding against my chest. “I need to give you a couple more shirts, huh?”

He shrugs, but looks back up at me. “I like this one.”

“I can tell, but we need to get you a selection to choose from.”

He hums. “This one doesn’t smell like you anymore.” The pout on his face makes me chuckle.

“Well, maybe I’ll have to sleep in one and give it to you. Let you swap off when it stops smelling like me.”

His eyes dart away from me, but the faint pink on his cheeks is unmistakable. “Okay. Um, thank you.”

“For the shirt?” I rub my hands up and down his back, loving the feel of his sleep-warmed skin. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

He shakes his head. “No. For staying.”

My heart clenches. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Fuck, darlin’. You swooped in with those big green eyes, your huge heart, and those fucking back dimples and snatched my heart right out of my chest. I knew from the very first night I didn’t stand a chance.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Back… dimples?”

“Yeah, Hold. The back dimples are lethal.”

He lets out an incredulous laugh. “I do not have back dimples.”

My eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, you so fucking do, darlin’.”

Pulling out of my embrace, he sits up. His hair is a fucking mess, all wild and wavy, probably from falling asleep with it wet, but he looks adorable. So gorgeous. Mine . I’m not even usually the possessive type, but what can I say? I kinda want to kidnap him and bring him home with me and never let him leave. In like, the least creepy way possible.

The glare he levels me with makes my heart thud. He’s in fine form this morning, and I love his playful outrage almost as much as I love the way he melts into me. “I think I’d know if I had back dimples.”

“Trust, Hold. You have them, and they are entirely too sexy for words.”

His jaw drops. “Are you serious?”

I can’t help but laugh. “I’m dead serious.”

He stares at me for a few minutes, then pulls his—my—shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor before lying on his stomach. “Prove it.”

Prove it? How? “How am I supposed to do that?”

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, Jules, but your phone has a camera. I know it seems crazy for an old man like you, but it exists.” My heart goes haywire.

“So I get a nickname, huh?” That thought fills me with endless joy. I feel like Holden is very much the type to only give nicknames to people he really cares about, even if they’re less than favorable, like Beck’s. Even though he hasn’t called me that since our little date night the other night, it still makes my heart happy.

“I’ll take it back if you don’t take a picture of my back. Can’t wait to prove you wrong.”

I chuckle. He really doesn’t know. How is it possible that no one has ever pointed them out to him before? How has he never seen them himself? “I’ll be happy for you to eat those words.”

Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I open the camera app. His briefs are pulled up over them a bit, so I can’t actually see them, but they’re definitely there. When I tug the band of his underwear down enough to see the two dimples, my cock swells. They’re really so sexy, and I don’t even know why I like them so much, but I definitely do. “Fuck, Hold,” I murmur, brushing my fingertips over them. This is the first time I’ve been able to touch them. At least like this. The fact that he’s even trusting me to lie like this, especially after everything that happened yesterday, makes me feel so good.

He inhales sharply, and I pull my hand back quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

He looks back at me with a grin. “Don’t be sorry. I like it. I always like it when you touch me. I’m not scared of you at all.” His words wash over me, making my stomach do crazy flips. I love that he trusts me. I barely even get to enjoy the victory for what it is, though, because he smirks and says, “Starting to think you’re stalling, though. Not gonna be fun to be proven wrong, huh? I get it, but you’ve made your bed.”

This little shit. I raise my phone in the air, lining it up so his toned lower back is in the frame, the two deep dimples at the base of his spine fully highlighted. I snap the photo. With a grin, I lie down beside him on my stomach, holding the picture up so he can see it. “Now, I know my eyesight might not be the best, what with my advanced age, but are those not back dimples?”

I glance at him just in time to see his eyes widen comically. “Holy shit. I have back dimples.” The disbelief in his voice has me laughing despite my best efforts to stop it. He turns to me with a glare, but his eyes are lit up, and it’s no time at all before his musical laughter is joining mine.

After we’ve managed to get it together, I sigh. “Told you so.”

“Yeah, yeah. Rub it in. How the fuck did I never know I have back dimples?” He chuckles, grabbing my phone to zoom in on them.

“I have no idea, darlin’. But my God, they are so hot.”

His cheeks turn pink. “When did you notice them?”

“Uh, the very first night.”

He turns toward me with a grin, his eyes dancing with happiness. “You really do have it bad, huh?”

I scoff. “Don’t act like you didn’t already know that.”

He chuckles, then leans into me, resting his head on my shoulder. His citrusy scent floats all around me and I want to breathe it in like a fiend. “You ready to go get Wren?” he asks, tilting his head back so he can smile at me.

I drop a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Sure thing, darlin’.”

To say that Wren is excited to see us would be an understatement. Although, I should probably amend that to say that she’s excited to see Holden. The second we crossed the threshold into Henry and Ruby’s house, she ran right past me to get to him. Little shit. If I didn’t love the relationship they’re forging so much, it would probably make me jealous. Wren has always been such a daddy’s girl. To be fair, though, except for Henry and Ruby, I’m all she has.

Apparently, now she has a ton of people in her corner. When Holden and I left—after Roman and Beck basically squeezed him to death—the two of them were planning a fun night in for us. Beck was jumping around like a teenager, going on and on about all the snacks and toys he wanted to buy to have at their house for her. Roman tried to reel him in, but I’m not sure that’s an argument he’s going to win. And Holden just giggled like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. I was and still am a little shell-shocked. After last night, though, and the conversation I had with Roman, it’s very clear that I’m part of the closely knit family they’ve built. And they don’t seem to just tolerate us, but actually enjoy us being around.

My only real issue is that Wren’s health is so up in the air. I’m trying not to let it consume my thoughts, and being surrounded by a true support system has actually been helping quite a bit. I noticed today when we picked her up that she’s getting dark circles under her eyes again. Ruby pulled me to the side and quietly told me she napped twice as long as usual yesterday. It’s stressful, but I’m trying not to let it overwhelm me. I’m hopeful we’ll hear something soon so I can at least get a plan together for the future. A future I hope like hell includes Holden and his strangely loving, protective best friends.

The sound of Holden laughing and Wren giggling pulls me back to the present. Letting out a contented sigh, I go back to packing Wren’s clothes. She’s so excited to stay the night with Holden at his house. Roman and Beck seemed to have made a big impact on her as well. Roman especially. I’m half-convinced Beck knows she favors Roman and is trying to win her over to his side. She won’t stop talking about them, though. I’d be feeling a bit like chopped liver if I wasn’t so fucking happy that the circle of people who care about her has just doubled.

“You about ready?” Holden’s soft voice startles me, and I turn to look at him. He’s standing in the doorway with Wren, and I can’t help but smile at how tightly she’s holding his hand.

“Yep. About to finish up her packing. Pick out a few toys, Wren.”

She drops Holden’s hand to come into the room, heading straight for her toy box.

Holden sits down beside me, resting his head on my arm. “You know, I’m not sure that she needs to bring any toys. I’m almost positive Beck was not joking about making a shopping trip.”

I shrug. “It’ll be alright either way, I’m sure.”

Holden sighs. It sounds heavy, a little worried. “Her eyes are looking bad again.”

I should have known he would notice it. He’s perceptive anyway, but couple that with his job? Not a chance he was going to miss it. “Yeah, Ruby pulled me aside and mentioned she napped twice as long as usual yesterday. I wasn’t hiding it from you. I was going to tell you.”

“I didn’t think you were hiding anything. I really want to find out what’s going on. I still need to talk to Lydia and see if she’ll take over. I don’t really want to, though.”

“I know, darlin’. You want to take care of her.” That’s really commendable, honestly. And it’s one of the many reasons I love him, but I can’t let him continue hurting himself like that. He can take care of her with me, but not in any medical capacity. It’s too hard for him, and I should have paid closer attention to that.

He hums. “I do, but I know I can’t. Not in that way.”

“For tonight, I’d really like to pretend this isn’t happening. I want to pretend she’s not sick, and she’s not getting worse again. I just want to spend time with you two and enjoy it.”

Holden looks up at me, worry swirling in his eyes. “After everything last night, I’ll definitely take that.”

“Ready, Daddy!” Wren says, her excitement palpable.

“Alrighty, baby girl. Let’s get going then.”

I’m sitting on the couch, in my own little world, trying very hard to keep myself from bursting into tears. It’s quite embarrassing, actually. Roman and Beck buying Wren a giant tent, complete with a new sleeping bag, pillow, and enough toys that it may as well be Christmas, has me emotional. And what does that say about me and the life I’m used to? The solitude I’m used to?

It’s not even that alone. It’s also the huge amount of snacks spread across the kitchen counter—everything from healthy options like fresh fruits and veggies, to snack cakes and candy. They also got her a variety of juices and chocolate milk. Beck shrugged when Holden’s eyes bugged out, simply saying that he didn’t know what she would like. When he turned shocked eyes to Roman, he had also shrugged. Who the fuck are these men? Honestly. This is fucking with my head.

And on top of all that, they haven’t left the living room once. In fact, the current reason I’m trying to avoid sobbing like a child is that Beck and Roman are piled in the tent with her, trying to teach her how to play a board game. She has not a single idea what’s happening, but she’s so happy.

“You okay?” Holden’s soft voice pulls me from my thoughts.

I take a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m alright. This is kinda… overwhelming.”

Holden drops his head to my arm, scooting closer until his leg is touching mine. It brings a grin to my face. “I can understand that. It was overwhelming for me too. Meeting Roman, that is. He’s always protected me—from the very first day. And then Beck. Well… as you found out last night, he’s an entirely different type of protective.” My stomach twists at the reminder of everything that happened. It’s been one hell of a weekend. “Wanna hop in there and play with them?”

“I really kind of do.” It’s strange. Normally, I’m all Wren has. So that she’s currently occupied with someone else has me feeling a little untethered.

“Great.” He tries for a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. I don’t even have time to ask him what’s wrong because he’s jumping off the couch and diving into the tent.

I stand up at a slower pace and climb in after them. This is a big-ass tent, to be honest.

“Daddy!” Wren shouts, crawling away from Beck and Roman and the game she was playing to climb into my lap. “Come play?”

“Is it alright if I join in? I don’t want to interrupt.”

Beck smiles. “Of course. I’m schooling the kid on all the ways to cheat at Hungry Hungry Hippos.”

Roman rolls his eyes. “You can’t cheat at Hungry Hungry Hippos, Beck. Be serious.”

I glance at Holden, expecting him to be smirking, or snarking, or literally anything at their back and forth, but he’s not. He’s staring off into space, a blankness to his eyes that I haven’t seen before—not even last night. “Hold, you wanna play?” Roman asks, turning his attention to Holden.

He clearly notices the same thing I do, but Holden gives himself a little shake and smiles brightly. It still doesn’t reach his eyes. “Of course. Can I play too, Wren?”

Wren nods frantically. “Yes.”

Beck gasps. “Oh no, Wren. This is only a four player game. Do you wanna come play with me? We can definitely beat Uncle Ro.”

She giggles, sliding off my lap to make her way back to him as Holden and I move closer.

For the next hour, we play the game together. I watch Wren—her joy, her excitement. But I also watch Holden. There is no joy or excitement. He laughs in the right places; he jokes and tickles Wren. He tries his hardest to win. Spoiler alert—Beck and Wren are undefeated. Not that any of us are upset. But there’s something missing.

Beck seems unaware, but Roman keeps shooting me worried looks when Holden isn’t looking. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s noticed the fire and spark is missing from his eyes. He looks almost a little anxious. I’m not sure if it’s because of Wren, or because of what happened last night, but the man who was joking with me about his back dimples is not in the room with us.

“I’m hungry, Daddy,” Wren says, after what has to be our seventy-fifth round.

Beck’s eyes light up like a kid at Christmas. “Can I take her to get snacks?”

I chuckle. “Yeah, of course.”

“Hey, Wren. Do you wanna watch a movie? We still need to watch Mulan,” Holden says.

“Sure!” Her tone is pure excitement. I think she’d like just about anything that Holden likes. She’s obsessed with him. But with the way she’s been clinging to Beck all night, it seems he may have knocked Roman out of the top uncle spot.

Everyone climbs from the tent. Roman and Beck take off to the kitchen with Wren. Before crossing over the threshold, Roman shoots me a pointed look. One step ahead of him, though.

“What’s wrong, darlin’?”

Holden turns to me. “Huh? Oh, nothing. I’m okay.”

I cock my head at him. I’m not sure about that. “Are you sure?”

He nods, but it’s not convincing in the slightest. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

I sigh. “I won’t push, but I hope you’ll tell me the truth, eventually.”

His eyes light up with indignation, which I’ll definitely take over this… emptiness he’s had for the last couple of hours. But it disappears as quickly as it came and his shoulders slump. “Yeah, later. Okay? When everyone’s in bed.”

“Okay.” I pull him into my arms and relief rushes through me when he doesn’t resist, and instead he melts right into my body. Part of me was worried that maybe I’d done something wrong, and he was upset with me, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. “I love you.”

He hums, rubbing his face against my chest. “I love you too.”

When everyone comes back into the living room, he pulls back. Wren has a plate piled high with everything from gummy worms to carrots and ranch. I can’t help but chuckle. She’s adorable, and definitely living her best life. Truthfully, so am I. It’s kind of incredible how quickly my life changed.

Maybe I drowned in those green eyes after all.

Beck gets Wren situated on the couch while Holden gets the TV queued up, and it’s not long before Wren’s eyes are glued to the movie. She clears her entire plate too. Although, Holden did keep stealing candy from it. Probably trying to keep her sugar intake down—can’t turn off the nurse brain at all. Hold and Roman are singing along to the songs. Beck is laughing and smiling at Roman in a way that shows how much he loves him. Wren is bouncing around in her seat, most definitely hyped up on sugar. And I’m soaking it all in with a smile that I couldn’t wipe from my face if I tried.

Holden leans into my side, tucking his feet up under my thigh with a sigh. He glances up at me, staring into my eyes like I’m the best thing he’s ever seen, and I can’t resist dropping a kiss to his full lips.

When Wren falls asleep against my other side, Holden grins at her. It’s soft, loving, and it almost takes my breath away. He’s so fucking amazing.