Page 37 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

Chapter twenty-seven

Morgan

One Week Later

W ork has been hell and I feel bad that I haven’t logged in because of it.

Between leaving early and getting in late, I’ve barely had time to eat dinner with my family and go to bed. I had a couple of nights to myself with my wife having gone on dates and the kids having their various social lives; but I just didn’t have it in me to stay awake.

Tonight feels like a damn treat after getting off work early, having dinner out with the kids, and now coming home to actually unwind in a fictional world of my own making. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping to see a certain pretty bird online and up to some mischief.

When I sign into Discord, I’m met with a waiting message from Tegan and one from Chris, along with a ban notification for the Roleplay server.

“What the fuck?”

Scrolling through the server message, I feel my blood boil. There’s some bullshit about my character breaking the rules and being overpowered on the ban notification. Chris’s message tells a different story.

Chris

Unfortunately, you have been banned from the server for breaking the rules of engagement.

It appears that you have been inflating your logged time in order to progress your character further than the rules allow.

After checking the logs, it is confirmed that you and another player were claiming time with no evidence of actual roleplay taking place in the public forum.

Should you wish to appeal the decision, you can do so through myself or Silvia.

You would have to provide the logs of your writing with dates and timestamps for each of the days listed on the ban notification you received.

I’m sorry that a moderator pulled you into such a situation.

Rest assured that she has been banned and will not be allowed the same appeal courtesy. I wish you the best.

With my jaw clenched and anger pulsing through me, I go to check the message from Tegan. I can easily tell she was panicked when she typed it out.

Reading over it, it’s obvious that he told her he was going to ban me. I have no idea why she’s apologizing when it’s clear that it’s all that asshole and his jealous, possessive bullshit.

Her icon is green, and I’m grateful to know she’s at least there.

Morgan

Hey there, pretty bird.

Tegan

Fuck, I didn’t think you’d speak to me again. Are you okay? I’m so fucking sorry.

Morgan

I’m pissed, but not at you. Why are you apologizing?

Tegan

Chris did this because I told him to fuck off.

I was done with the silent treatment bullshit, and he got really upset and petty.

He banned me, told every one of his minions to stop all communication with me, and banned you.

I have no idea what grounds he banned you on.

My message just said I had been warned. It’s this dramatic, high school level bullshit and I’m so sorry.

After I copy and paste Chris’s message into our chat, it’s quiet for a long time before I see the indicator that she’s typing.

Tegan

I’m so sorry. Oh my god. Send him the logs.

I don’t care. I have nothing to hide. I was true to my word and played by the rules.

We didn’t write a single smut scene and we even have the OOC notes to show when I set boundaries and told you we were toeing a line with the flirting.

Not that I care what he thinks about what I wrote, but you could appeal and get your place back.

You won’t lose everything you’ve written with the others.

Morgan

What? No. Those logs are no one else’s business. He only gave that as an option so he can read what we wrote together. He wants to see what you were doing. That’s the only reason he did that, Tegan. It’s him being an insecure, possessive fuck.

Tegan

Morgan, you wrote hundreds of thousands of words over the last few months and not just with me. You’re going to lose all of that and I’ve read most of it. Those are damn good stories that you could publish one day with some polish. They’ll delete them, or worse claim them.

Morgan

Love, I couldn’t care less about all that. They can do what they want with all of it. I do this for fun and to unwind. If I’m completely honest, the only fiction I care about is all on the server I made for our writing. Otherwise, I just want to know if you’re okay…

Tegan

I’m fine.

Morgan

That response usually means that a person is, in fact, not fine. Talk to me.

Tegan

I’m sorry. I just got so mad and tired of him treating me like shit.

I did everything right, or I thought I did.

I obeyed his stupid rules. I sent him messages every single day, even when I knew he wouldn’t respond.

I was made to feel like shit for the smallest infractions, and some of them were for arbitrary rules where the limit was only identified when I crossed it.

Fuck I’m sorry. I should’ve figured it out sooner, but I was so fucking desperate to have a connection.

He was talking to Cooper and I just thought it would give him a friend he could talk to too.

Morgan

Breathe, love. Take a few really deep breaths. Are you doing that?

Tegan

Yes…

Morgan

Good girl.

Tegan

Don’t you start.

Morgan

*Smirks* Too soon?

Tegan

Little bit, yea.

Morgan

Start from the beginning and tell me what happened since the last time we talked.

She explains the continued silent treatment and shows me the exchange from last week, along with the messages between the prick and her husband.

I just shake my head at the screen. I knew Chris was an overcompensating, narcissistic piece of work, but as soon as I read his comments about her growing confidence, I wanted to find a way to reach through a screen and kill him.

She’s worked so hard to see herself in a better light.

During some of our late night exchanges, she has told me how she saw herself and her body.

Tegan always stayed true to the boundaries Chris had set and never sent me updated photos.

She wasn’t allowed to post them to the public chat anymore either.

All I want to do is give that confidence back to her after he tried to weaponize it against her.

Morgan

Now that you don’t have to follow his rules anymore, can you show off all that hard work? I don’t want– well that’s not true. I don’t *need* nudes. I just want to see the before and after that makes you so proud of yourself.

Tegan

You don’t have to do that to make me feel better. I’ll know you’re just blowing smoke up my ass after reading all of that.

Morgan

How are you calling me a liar before I even give the compliment? That’s a whole new level of inception…

Tegan

Lol. Cute.

Morgan

Well, I know you’re beautiful already; but I haven’t seen your progress because of his rules. His rules no longer apply and I’d like to see the new you that makes you so proud. I understand if you don’t want to show me, sweetheart. Just tell me that you don’t want to share and I’ll stop asking.

Tegan

I’ll show you, but please don’t call me sweetheart ever again.

Morgan

Okay. I’ll remove that endearment from my vocabulary right now.

Two images load side by side in the window a few seconds later.

The first one is the same picture she posted when she declared that she was starting to change some of her eating habits.

She said food was going to stop being a coping mechanism; and it was going to start being fuel for her to workout and tone.

She’s beautiful in this image with her curves and height.

While she might be medically considered overweight, she carries it in an hourglass figure with an incredible bust, torso dipping in and then flaring out at the hips.

When the Greeks carved statues of female beauty, it was in the shape of Tegan.

In the second photo though, she’s noticeably slimmed down, toned up, and that hourglass figure is more pronounced.

It’s not the weight loss that steals my breath though.

It’s the smile and how it evolved from being forced for the sake of the first picture, to a bright, confident expression of pride.

Her eyes look like they’re a different color than the first picture, but her deep chestnut hair is a little shorter and curled into a fun style.

She’s still not wearing makeup in the second picture, but she’s in a pair of tight jeans and a fitted blouse, whereas she was in baggier clothes to hide her shape in the first image.

It isn’t just a physical transformation.

I can see that she loves herself a little more now.

Morgan

You’re beautiful in both, but you look like you agree with me more in the second one. You look incredible, gorgeous, happy, and proud.

Tegan

Thank you, Morgan. I’m trying to stick to it and stay healthy. It’s easier to keep up with my daughter these days. So that’s a plus.

One thing I’ve learned over the last few months of talking to this woman, and getting to know the little pieces of her that she shares with me, is that she never takes all the credit due to her. She’s humble to the point of never accepting the praise she deserves.

I’m determined to change that somehow.

Morgan

How long has it been since you wrote a scene or wrote anything?

Tegan

Since the last time you and I left off in Nellunon.

Nellunon. The world she created when I started our private server. It’s the world she has built from scratch, and separate from the roleplay server where we started.

We haven’t been able to write there for a few weeks though because I’ve been too busy and drained.

I was only able to pop on here and there to have short conversations with her.

I found out that her daughter is autistic, and things have been rough recently while she navigates how to teach her husband the routine for the meltdowns.

It all sounds like a lot for one person to endure.

I hate that I’ve barely been able to carry on a conversation from being so worn out.

At least tonight I can distract her from it all and wrap her in fiction.

Morgan

Well let me go back and refresh my memory, then I’ll write up a post to get us rolling if you’re up for it tonight.

Tegan

I would love that… and we no longer have to fade to black. Just don’t force it to happen just because it can happen now.

Morgan

I don’t think I have to force it. She wants him. : p

Tegan

Morgan… I know it sucks and it’s tempting, but please… I’m sorry.

Morgan

Stop. Apologizing. I’m teasing you, love.

We’ll keep going like we normally do. If it gets to a point you change your mind and want to fade to black or stop for the night, just tell me.

I know you’re used to being forced into uncomfortable scenes, but you can say no without pissing me off. I promise. I’m not that fragile.

Tegan

Okay. Sorry.

Morgan

…

Tegan

Well if I apologize for apologizing this is gonna get really awkward really fast… So, just go post and I’ll get my shit together.

Morgan

Fair enough.

It’s two in the morning by the time I feel my eyes getting so heavy that I can hardly keep them open. We didn’t fade it out, but we also danced around what was a very heated exchange. She never said she wanted to stop, but we never got down and dirty like I know she can get with her writing.

I also didn’t force it.

I would never force it, especially after she asked me not to.

She was right. It was tempting beyond belief and she is more fun to banter and flirt with when she’s not holding herself back.

Those rules and that fear of Chris’s bullshit have been lifted enough for her to let herself enjoy writing scenes again.

It might take some time to get her to open up more, but I’m just glad to see the pretty bird free from her cage.

Morgan

Getting sleepy over here, love. Do you mind if we pause it here?

Tegan

That’s probably for the best. I’m getting close to the point where I’ll no longer be typing in English soon.

Morgan

Lol. I hope things get a little bit easier.

Just remember, I’m here if you need to talk or write.

You can vent if that’s what you need, or if you want to make other stories with different characters when you’re in certain moods, we can do that too.

You can also find a new server or forum if I start to bore you with my lackluster skills.

Tegan

Oh shut up. Fishing for compliments is so beneath you.

You know I love your writing, but I might still try to find a forum.

I don’t want to burn you out or annoy you.

Between insomnia and needing a break from reality, I tend to do this at an arguably unhealthy rate.

I’ve told you before that someone once asked me if he was the only person that would write with me because I enjoyed the storyline too much.

I was overexcited to write when I saw he was around.

Morgan

I promise you, I won’t get burnt out with you, love. I just might not always be up for carrying on for hours at a time. I will try to check in more often though, in case you need to talk. I know he isolated you here.

Tegan

Yea, well. I let it happen. That’s my fault.

Morgan

Only to an extent. We all make mistakes, Tegan. They aren’t what define you though. So lift your chin up and put on that beautiful smile. I’ll be around tomorrow evening.

Tegan

Alright, dear. Sleep sweet.

Morgan

Good night, love. Sweet dreams.

The moment I close my laptop, I know that I’m going to make it more of a habit to check on her. After reading Chris’s messages and realizing just how much he took with him, I’m determined that she won’t feel any impact from that loss.

Of course, I know that I can’t fill every single void for her. I’ve witnessed more than enough of her exchanges with him to know that he facilitated every connection she had in that group aside from her connection with me.

He even tried to sever that with his bullshit ban.

Little did he know that his insecurity and pettiness were already noticed. He created his biggest loss all on his own, and now I won’t let him pull her back in.

She deserves that smile I saw tonight to be a permanent fixture on her beautiful face. I’ll just keep being patient with her until she learns that she can trust me.