Page 29 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

Chapter twenty-one

Tegan

H is cock feels so good inside of me after the orgasm I thought he’d never let end. I’m grateful that he didn’t argue when I set the laptop to the side. I couldn’t continue to pretend to pay attention to the message box.

I’ll tell him later that Chris never logged on.

Morgan, the life saver that he is, needed only a brief explanation of why I needed him to message me back every so often.

Thankfully, he was more than willing to help me out.

I’m sure when I go back to look at the logs tomorrow, I’ll see that I made absolutely no sense after he agreed.

It doesn’t matter that there was nothing sexy to read on the screen, Cooper was touching me. He was worshiping my body and winding me so tightly, all I wanted was to close the fucking computer and focus on him.

It has been so long since he’s given me that kind of dedicated attention.

It makes my blood boil that Chris stood us up when my husband went to the lengths of setting this entire evening into motion.

For now, I’m focusing on the thrust of his hips driving his pierced cock deep and hard.

The steel ring hits my g-spot every single time he bottoms out inside of me, making my toes curl and my back arch.

His kiss is a fierce declaration of his need, and I’m more than willing to satisfy every bit of it for him. My hands slide up along his back, nails digging into his inked shoulder blades, drawing a shudder from him.

When he pulls away from the kiss, his teeth graze over my lower lip and his hips clap violently against my own. He doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t moan or grunt. His eyes are rolled back and he’s focused on what he needs now.

I shudder as his thrusts grow more frantic and almost bruising. It’s exquisite and makes my bones rattle with pleasure while my pussy clenches around him in another building release.

“Coope–” his hand claps over my mouth before I can utter his entire name. My husband is determined not to be distracted tonight. His pace quickens and I scream into the palm of his hand when my orgasm crashes over me.

Normally, this is where Cooper gets frustrated because he can’t get off, he can’t fall over the edge. Tonight he continues fucking me through my release, rutting inside of me with his teeth grit tightly and his eyes closed.

He’s shut off his senses. No sight. No noise permitted from me.

There’s only his music playing in the background and the lewd claps of skin on skin as he rails into me over and over again.

My body is writhing beneath him as he fucks me from one orgasm to the next.

My nails are dragging angry red trails through the tattooed designs of his back.

That’s when I feel him swelling inside of me while I pulse around him in the throes of another orgasm. The release has my body convulsing and milking his own from him. I feel him pulsing with the rushing heat of his own climax flooding me like it has in too many months.

His hand leaves my mouth and he buries his face into the curve of my neck and shoulder.

He didn’t make a sound above his labored breathing, but I can feel the evidence of his release in the mess between us.

My hold on him transforms from that clutching desperation, to the loving embrace he deserves.

We’re both panting, covered in a sheen of sweat, and simultaneously satiated for the first time in a very long time. Kissing his ear, I brush back some of the dark blonde tendrils that slipped free from his topknot and whisper softly.

“That was fucking amazing, Coop.”

He nods without lifting up, settling his weight over me with his strong arms sliding behind my back to hug me closer to him. I don’t know where his head is, or if he’s just basking in the feeling of finally having an orgasm through the haze of his medications.

Allowing him this moment, I just stroke back those errant strands, dragging my nails over his scalp with each movement.

“If you fall asleep on top of me, it would be a shame for the firefighters to find us like this when all these candles melt down to nothing…” I tease against his ear.

Finally, I feel him smile against my neck and it draws a matching one to my lips.

“I’m still awake, beautiful,” he murmurs and presses a tender kiss against the curve of my shoulder. “Just enjoying my head being quiet.”

Tears burn the backs of my eyes but I keep them at bay. It’s a stupid thing to cry over, but I hate that it is such a battle for him to get a quiet moment in his head.

We lie there for another hour before he finally lifts himself up and trails a line of kisses down my breast bone. The last kiss is planted on my stomach, just above my belly button, just like he’s done every single time we’ve had sex since the first time.

When I’d told him I was nervous about being naked in front of him, he’d turned off the lights to make me comfortable.

After losing my virginity, he’d been getting us out of bed to clean up and stopped me so he could kiss every part of me that he loved…

the last one always being my stomach… the place that made me the most insecure.

Now, it makes my heart flutter even more. While I’m getting better about how I view my body and take care of it, he’s still showing me changes can happen and he’ll still love every part of me.

After our shower, the candles get extinguished, the sheets get changed, and we curl back up on the mattress to listen to music while watching the fire slowly burn down.

His fingers comb through my hair with my head resting on his chest. My eyes have drifted closed.

I’m so comfortable and sleep is beckoning me with this cocoon of comfort enveloping me so perfectly.

“I’ll have to text Chris tomorrow and tell him how well my plan worked for both of us.” Cooper murmurs against the top of my head before he kisses the spot that absorbed his words.

I don’t want to tell him that Chris didn’t even show up, but I also don’t want to ruin a really good night for him.

Still, I’m not in the habit of putting my husband in awkward situations on purpose either.

If he sends a message to Chris, then it’ll get read as sarcasm since he wasn’t actually there.

“You don’t have to text him. He knows, baby.” I assure him instead.

Feeling Cooper shake his head and kiss the top of mine again, he hugs me against him a little tighter.

“I think it would be rude if I didn’t talk to him about it. I know this is a weird set up that we have… but you enjoyed that, right?”

“I did.” I smile and kiss his chest a few times before lifting my head to meet his eyes.

“Tonight was all you, babe. Nothing turned me on like you teasing me and touching me. Everything you did was fucking perfect, and I loved every second of it. I don’t even remember anything I read on the screen tonight. ”

It’s not a lie, but it at least won’t disappoint him. I can only imagine the spiral it would send him into if I told him we were stood up after all of his planning.

Cooper’s lips claim mine in a slow, deep kiss that tempts my tired body to go just one more round. If I didn’t know the mental battle he fought to find release tonight, then I might just straddle him and go again. I’m not pushing our luck when we’re in such a good place though.

“I love you, baby,” he whispers, pulling a smile from me while his thumb strokes over my cheek.

“I love you too, Cooper. I love you so fucking much. Next time– maybe I’ll read or listen to one of my books while you drive me crazy.” My smile turns into a wicked grin, but it quickly falters when I realize I’ve triggered something in him. “You don’t have to plan it now—”

“Was this too much?” he asks and it almost sounds panicked.

“No, baby. No.” I lift my hand to cup his cheek, claiming another kiss from his lips before kissing the tip of his nose and each of his eyelids. “No. This was perfect. Everything you did was absolutely perfect, Coop.”

I can feel some of the tension leaving his body, but I know he’s already trying to figure out what he did wrong. I kiss him again and rest my forehead against his.

“Chris must’ve been busy with work or something. He never logged on. I wasn’t writing a scene.”

Cooper blinks in confusion. “You did an awful lot of typing to not have been writing…” he states skeptically.

I chuckle and roll over to get my laptop. With it opened up to Discord, I show him my message window with Chris.

Tegan

Hey, we’re here! I can’t believe you and Cooper planned this.

Tegan

He’s laying out the rules about tonight…

Tegan

Are you there, sir?

I watch Cooper read the messages with his brows creased while he examines the timestamps that show I waited about five minutes between each.

“Then who was making your messages ping?” he asks and I click over to the messages I share with Morgan.

Tegan

Hey, you. I have a really odd request… You can say no, but I’ll owe you BIG TIME.

Morgan

This sounds interesting. Hit me.

Tegan

Hubby planned this amazing set up with Chris.

I would write a scene with the boss that would get me all riled up while hubby did all the things to get me off.

If there’s too much time between a ping and me typing, he stops.

If there’s no ping, he’ll assume I didn’t send anything…

I need pings when I send messages. Please.

Morgan

Chris is a fucking idiot for missing this.

Morgan

I’m in but are you sure you don’t want me to write something sexy for you?

Tegan

I’m good. I don’t want to pppiss himmmm o…

Tegan

of*

Tegan

OFF

Morgan

Damn, he already started on you? If I ask what he’s doing to you, does that count as the two of us being too sexual for your arrangement with Chris?

Tegan

Ye

Tegan

YESS

Morgan

There’s no way in hell your husband is going to believe that was a post, dear.

Tegan

I’m trying to fuc–foc… focus… I don’t know alca’sd how hlw’eyo he thought… I wwoo woll would do this. This… this is evil.. Just… shhh.

Morgan

LOL. Alright. No more questions, but we will definitely talk about this later. I’ll keep pinging responses and you send your gibberish. Enjoy yourself, love.

Cooper shakes his head and the next thing I know, his lips are against my temple in a gentle kiss. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Closing the laptop, I set it aside and turn back to face him. We’re in that pillow talk position now, facing each other with an arm tucked beneath our individual pillows, free hands finding a reason to touch the other person.

“You had a plan and I definitely had no intention of derailing it. If I could have convinced you that I didn’t need a scene going, I would’ve just enjoyed everything you were doing to me.”

His hand rests against my cheek and the look he’s giving me is so confused. “I thought it would help if he was doing all that dirty talk and dominant shit you enjoy.”

“Oh I’m sure that would’ve made it even hotter than it already was; but you can see from those messages, that I didn’t need all of it for you to make me scream.”

I chuckle and reach up to cup the back of his hand, bringing it to my mouth to kiss the scar on his palm. Lightly I drag my thumb over the clean line and kiss it again before cradling his hand against my cheek once more.

“I told you. You’re always enough for me.

If you asked me tonight to delete my accounts and to stop writing with Chris or Morgan or anyone else, I would do that for you.

You’re always the most important to me. If you told me you were no longer comfortable with these strange digital relationships, I would stop even attempting to have them. ”

“But you get lonely when I have my long stretches, and I don’t want you to lose the connections you have either,” he tells me honestly.

“I’ll admit, I’m jealous of the way they can get to you with just words sometimes; but I get that it’s something I’m not able to give you.

I also know that if I wanted to indulge in someone else, you wouldn’t only support my choice.

You’d be the weirdo who helped me get a date. ”

With a laugh, I nod. I’ve always told him that I’m open to a polyamorous relationship.

He was supposed to go on a date before everything at work really got to him.

After the mandated therapy, that kind of fell by the wayside and he never circled back to it.

She seemed… very thrown off about the open marriage situation.

The most difficult part of having an open marriage, in my mind, would be how to be open about it to our families. Even though my family isn’t super religious like his, they would not be happy about me having anything but a traditional, heterosexual marriage.

That was before Cooper’s depression and anxiety had gotten so bad. Autism was never the factor that worried me. We found out about it and were able to assess what parts of him were traits of being on the spectrum and which ones were just Cooper.

“If you decided you wanted to date someone, I would definitely help you. I just want you to be happy and I know that’s difficult. I know I don’t make it easier some days either.”

“Shut up. You make everything better,” he says in a stern but loving tone and kisses me softly.

“You are the reason I can push through my darkest thoughts. When therapy and medication make me think you would just be better off if I wasn’t here at all, you’re there with your adorable laugh, beautiful eyes, and that smile that makes me fall even more in love with you every time I see it. ”

His thumb lightly caresses my cheek, wiping away a tear that spilled free, caused by his beautiful words. I knew Cooper had suicidal thoughts, but he so rarely talks about that stuff with me.

“We knew the day we figured out that Hannah and I had too much in common that our marriage was not going to be an easy one. This is just part of our life together. For better or worse, no matter what that looks like for us, we will do it our way.”