Page 26 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

Chapter nineteen

Morgan

“ S hit….” I whisper as I stare at the screen and realize I’ve just sent the worst wrong message.

She’s being punished for fucking flirting with me and I just sent her…

“Fuck!” Whisper shouting the word into my palm so I don’t wake up anyone in the house, I feel my heart seize up when I see her typing.

The woman I was writing smut with has already logged off.

I realized that about half a second after I’d hit send on the message that I sent to my pretty bird.

Rissa

Are you over there being naughty with someone? That’s some impressive multitasking, demon.

Holy. Shit.

She’s not pissed. For months we’ve been writing back and forth and I’ve been trying so hard to get her to open up and talk to me.

I could’ve just ruined any chance I had of finding out who she really is, of spending more time with her.

I could’ve ruined my shot at getting her away from that narcissistic asshole when she could create an entire world all on her own.

I have to be honest with her. It won’t do me any good to lie to her when she’s being playful anyway. At least it seems that way.

Demon

I’m so fucking sorry, but yes I was. One of those one offs on the original webchat. I just needed to take the edge off. It’s been a while for me.

Rissa

Trust me, I get it. Before the whole thing with Chris, I’d do the one off thing too when I was particularly needy. The hubby knows, of course. It’s no different than watching a good porno. You just get to do the writing. *winks*

This woman is something else, and I’m now certain that she’s a woman.

About a month ago, she announced to the main out of character chat that she was starting to focus on her diet, and was determined to lose some serious weight.

She posted a picture of herself in a pair of jeans and a nice blouse. I’m glad I was active when she did it, because it was only an hour before he logged in. He immediately made a new rule about posting personal pictures on the server and took it down.

She’s beautiful, hips that a man could hold onto, eyes that draw you in, just begging you to count the different colors.

In the picture her hair was long and reaching down to her elbows in straight, milk chocolate colored tresses.

Freckles splattered all over her face, and dark violet squared glasses completed the look that spoke volumes about her.

Her personality is fierce, witty, and mesmerizing. It was all in that single picture.

I wish I could find a way to see more of her, but she shares so little. I know for a fact she doesn’t see how incredible she is, even the little bit I know of her so far.

She’s always the first to jump in and help someone new figure out the logging system for our forum. There’s never a time that someone asks for help that she doesn’t volunteer to guide them.

When I tell her I’ve had a bad day, she reads every word and responds like she actually cares about it all.

There was a connection there before, but I was erring on the side of caution, not knowing for sure if she was the woman I was picturing her to be. When I saw her, and knew that I no longer had to be cautious of that, I let my mind run wild.

Rissa

Hey, it’s really okay. I’m not upset or freaked out. I’m glad you were having a good time since I’m not exactly able to do those scenes with you.

Demon

No, no. I’m here. I appreciate you not freaking out. I actually didn’t get to enjoy it as much as she did. I really did get pulled away. My son came knocking on my office door and had some date drama he wanted to talk about.

Rissa

Did he get cockblocked too?

I imagine her giving a cheeky little smile as she sends such a message. I’m fairly certain that if I ever get the chance to see more of her, I’m a goner.

Demon

*Chuckles* No, Pretty Bird. She apparently ran into her ex at the movies and there were words said. He decided to end things with her instead of continuing to date. I don’t envy the dating scene these days.

Rissa

I have enough trouble opening up to people when I’m not even looking at their face. I can’t imagine hanging out with a stranger and trying to tell them to their face all there is to know about me.

Demon

The screen does offer a certain level of comfort… but there’s also that disconnect. There’s nothing like a good cuddle.

Rissa

Or one of those long hugs, where you just stand in the middle of a room and squeeze each other like you can press your souls together to make them whole?

She’s lonely. Just from that statement, she sounds like she is lacking that simple touch. Perhaps she and I aren’t so different. I’m just less jaded by assholes who try to take advantage of such a thing.

Demon

You say that like you could really use one of those hugs.

Rissa

I really, really could.

Demon

My name is Morgan, by the way… you can talk to me about what made you need one of those hugs.

Rissa

I remember your name, dear. It’s nice to acknowledge it now though… and maybe some other time. I think I need to turn in for the night and sleep it off though. I’ll save my last post and we can pick it up there next time.

Fuck… I pushed too hard. I made her uncomfortable. Stupid. I let out a slow breath and nod, like she can actually fucking see me.

Demon

I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to push you… I respect that you don’t trust me and you might not want to talk about it…

I see her typing and I pause in my apologetic rant, my heart pounding in my chest.

Is she about to let me down gently? Is she about to tell me she’s done talking to me now?

Rissa

You didn’t. I’m just tired, I promise. It’s been a really long day and I’ll talk about it when I’m ready.

Rissa

I’m Tegan, btw. Good night, Morgan.

The smile that stretches across my face hurts, but I don’t care. My fingers fly across the keyboard as I wish her goodnight and sweet dreams. Since her status icon was already dark, I don’t know if she’s already walked away from the computer or not.

That’s until she sends a simple message in response.

Rissa

Sleep sweet.

I let her have the last word and log our time for the hours we spent writing. When I realize she didn’t log them, I erase her line.

There’s a reason she didn’t put it there herself. Chris will check it and interrogate her about what she was writing.

I won’t put her in that position.

I might not have gotten myself off with the person I’d been dirty talking in between posts with Tegan, but fuck if I can be upset about it. She’s no longer Pretty Bird or Rissa. She’s no longer a fictional character or a stranger.

Now she’s Tegan .

Now I’ve just got to show her that she can trust me.