Page 13 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

Chapter eight

Tegan

One Month Later

T his is fucking awkward…and painful.

I knew accepting a dinner invitation was going to be a mistake, but I guess I let my foolish hope of having a relationship with my father get the better of me.

I could always blame the rampant hormones, because Wayne did wait until the day after his hospital visit to call me. I was an emotional, sleep deprived mess, and I was so happy to be going home with Cooper and Hannah.

I accepted his invitation without a single thought.

Now I’m sitting here in the middle of a fucking Olive Garden, quietly eating my salad while he flirts with the waitress.

I guess it’s not just the girls at Hooters he flirts with.

“I’m guessing since Cooper seemed to be doing well, he recovered well from his accident?” Wayne asks me after the girl that surely qualifies as jailbait walks away to get refills for our drinks.

I lift my brow at him and he clears his throat.

“I don’t know if Cooper told you that I came by, but I have a friend who works at the hospital. A few friends actually. I heard that he was involved in a self-inflicted gun accident…” He trails off and I have no intention of picking up that little lead.

Once he realizes that I’m waiting for him to get to wherever he’s going with this, he clears his throat again like he’s uncomfortable. Good. “Is there something I need to be concerned with? Why did he even have a gun, Tegan?”

It takes all my physical strength not to smirk at the question.

“He bought it for home protection. We don’t live in the best neighborhood, and he just felt safer having something in the apartment.

His dad has been on him for months about us not having any firearms at home.

I’m sure once we are able to buy a house he’ll want something more than that little hand gun with his way of thinking. ”

“I knew you’d bring that up again,” Wayne bemoans and I give him a look of confusion.

I’m honestly not sure what it is I’ve brought up. The incredulous look he gives me is almost laughable, except I truly have no idea what he means.

“I know you are still waiting for me to pay you back. These things don’t happen overnight, Tegan. I’m working on it.”

Ah. I brought up that we wanted to buy a house.

So he knows that I have no hope of getting a loan anytime soon.

We’ve been looking at options, and I know I won’t be able to be on the loan if we find a house in the budget of only Cooper’s income.

I worry that we won’t be in a much better part of town than we are now, but that’s something we’ll figure out when we get to that point.

It’s not really any of Wayne’s business that we’re trying to explore other options. I simply nod and sip my water once the waitress has refilled it.

I actively avoid the doe eyes she’s giving my sperm donor.

Was he really doing this for years behind my mother’s back? That thought has me going back to what had led us down this path of conversation. “So your friends at the hospital told you that Cooper had a gun accident?”

“Lydia and I have been friends since your mother and I were dating. We were close before she became a nurse. So I go up to the hospital to have lunch with her and her sister Melinda from time to time. Your mom wasn’t crazy about it, so I stopped talking about them around her.

” His explanation comes off in a tone that matches the same way one would rattle off ingredients for an old recipe.

He really didn’t care that my mother didn’t like him having these lunch dates with other women.

I tilt my head in question. “It’s illegal to disclose medical information, even to close friends. Does Lydia know that?”

Wayne’s eyes widen as if he’s just now realizing his misstep.

“She didn’t give me any of his personal information.

I told her that my son in law was in the emergency room that night and she accidentally let it slip that there was a gunshot wound involved.

You wouldn’t tell me anything when I spoke to you, so I had no idea what was happening.

I started asking questions to find out if I could help in any way, but her supervisor walked up and said she couldn’t give me the room number.

I’m sorry that I was worried about you and him. ”

Don’t make a scene.

It seems to be my motto any time I attempt to give this man another chance at being the father he was when I was a child.

Of course, I find out more and more just how much my mother carried that marriage for the sake of Kat, Dani, and me.

The moment we were old enough to understand, she filed for divorce.

It hadn’t taken him any time at all to marry someone else though, and it seems that he has even more numbers to call when he’s bored of that wife too.

I give him a slight nod and take a long sip of my water. It’s better if I don’t open my mouth for anything except another bite of salad right now.

“He was very rude when I came to the hospital to see you and the baby. I don’t even know my own granddaughter’s name.” Wayne continues, making me breathe slowly through my nose. “He said you didn’t want me there.”

“I didn’t.” I say simply and take another bite, chewing deliberately slow while holding his stare.

“Tegan, I haven’t done anything to deserve you treating me like this,” he starts in a tone that is full of disappointment.

“Your mother has gotten into your head and told you so many lies about me. You forget the baseball games and the softball seasons I coached. You don’t remember the hockey games I sent you to see or the times we stayed up practicing Halloween makeup for costumes together. ”

The truly heartbreaking part is that I do remember all of those things.

I also remember hearing my mother remind him that I wanted to watch a game with him. I remember her making jewelry to sell at the flea market for registration fees for softball. I remember him dropping me off at the hockey arena with a security guard friend while he went somewhere else.

I watched that hockey game alone.

I remember when I was in high school, mama and I got into a huge fight. It was the worst one the two of us had ever had, and she told me to get out of her house. Wayne had stood at the front door as I was walking out. He gave me a hug and said “I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do out there.”

He hadn’t argued with mama to let me stay or for us to both take some time to calm down before doing anything crazy.

My mom had been the one to give me a ride to a friend's house. She’d also been the one to pick me up the next day to bring me back home.

He’d come home to find me helping my sisters make dinner that night and looked at my mom to ask her if she’d changed her mind.

That memory still makes my stomach queasy.

“I haven’t forgotten any of that,” I say quietly, afraid if I speak any louder my voice will crack.

“The way I treat you is a direct response to the things you’ve done to me.

It has nothing to do with Mama. Honestly, she doesn’t even talk to us about you at all.

She’d rather us make our own decisions.”

“Right,” he shakes his head like he doesn’t believe that for a second.

Picking up his fork and stabbing a mouthful of ziti onto the prongs, he levels me with another disappointed look.

“I just want the chance to know my granddaughter. I know I need to pay you back. You also don’t seem to like the way I handled Cooper asking for my permission to marry you, but I’m your dad.

I’m your daughter’s Pappy. I have a right to know her.

I took care of you and raised you. I kept groceries in the house and a roof over your head.

You didn’t even let me walk you down the aisle.

You at least owe me the chance to meet—” he tenses for a moment and shakes his head. “I still don’t even know her name.”

“Hannah.” I tell him flatly.

“I thought you would find a way to name her after me or my mother…” he sighs. “It’s still a pretty name. Did you get it out of a baby book?”

“No. Hurricane Hannah came through the week before we found out I was pregnant and it just felt right when I held her in my arms.” My smile is finally genuine, remembering that light in Cooper’s eyes when we both knew the name was perfect.

Wayne snorts. He snorts! “Well, I guess it makes for an interesting story. When can I meet her?”

I set my fork aside, unable to stomach another bite.

“I’m not ready for her to be around people yet.

She’s still small and I want her to be a little bigger before she’s meeting strangers.

You’re still smoking a lot and I definitely don’t want her around that.

Plus, Cooper has to be okay with you coming for a visit or us coming to see you. ”

He balks at that idea. “You think you need him to be there? Why?”

“That’s his daughter, Wayne.”

“I have asked you a thousand times to call me Dad. Calling me by name is disrespectful.” He spits the words out through gritted teeth.

“Well, you haven’t been much of a dad since Mama filed for divorce.

You had to be court ordered to keep paying for health insurance for the girls.

That’s not something mama told me, it was just something I overheard at the doctor’s office when Kat had the flu.

” I tell him. “You stopped inviting us over to your house and told us you didn’t have the money to spend time with us. ”

“It’s always about money with you, I swear.” He mutters.

The man is going to be the death of me with his gaslighting and word twisting tactics.

“I didn’t say it was about money. I said that was your reason for not inviting us to your house to watch a movie or have a game night.

You’re under the impression that us existing in the same space costs you money.

We’ve told you repeatedly that is not the case.

You wanting to meet Hannah seems to have changed your perspective on that. ”

“It won’t cost me money to come and have dinner at your place. You’ll cook dinner and the most it will cost me is a few dollars in gas and work covers that for me.”

I breathe in deeply through my nose and smile at the waitress as she approaches. “Can we get our checks please?”

“Actually… do you mind?” he starts and I clench my jaw. “I didn’t want to cancel on you and reschedule until my next paycheck.”

I close my eyes and exhale slowly.

I expected this.

With disappointment clenching in my gut, I open my eyes to smile at the waitress once more. “Just one check please.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. You’re amazing. I know that’s why you’re willing to have dinner with me and try to work this out. I don’t want you to hate me. I always dreamed of having a little girl and the day you were born, I knew you would be perfect.”

His disappointment from earlier is completely gone. He so easily pulls down the veil of pride and affection, and I know that’s why I keep giving him chance after chance to remain in my life.

I’m a glutton for punishment.

“So what do I need to do for you to allow me to meet Hannah?”

After I’ve signed the check and tipped the waitress, I turn back to him and take my millionth deep breath of the evening.

“Cooper has the final say in when that happens. You have to be more proactive in contacting me and asking about my family. I need to know you actually care and this isn’t just some way for you to gain bragging rights for having met her.

This isn’t some competition between you and Mama. ”

“How could it be? She was there when she was born…” I almost miss those muttered words he growled them so low.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing,” he lies with an assuring tone. “What else?”

“You can’t be smoking. You either have to quit, or don’t smoke after you’ve showered for the day that you’re going to see her.

She’s already having to do breathing treatments because of delivery complications.

I don’t want to exacerbate those issues.

She’s the most important person in this whole situation. I need you to remember that.”

He smirks a little and sips his sweet tea. “You sound like your mother. I hope Cooper realizes he never comes first anymore now that you’ve had a kid.”

I really have no idea how to even respond to that, so I simply nod and stand from the table. “I guess I’ll talk to you soon then.”

He doesn’t thank me for dinner or walk me out to my car. Instead, he goes to the hostess station to talk to our waitress.