Page 27 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

Chapter twenty

Cooper

Two Months Later

T egan’s in the shower and her mom just picked up Hannah for the weekend. I really don’t know how I would have pulled this off without Allison’s help. I owe the woman a nice dinner, flowers, and probably a vacation at this point.

I told my wife to take her time in the shower, knowing that her mother was coming. Now that my mother-in-law is gone, I check to make sure I can still hear the water running before I do the hard part of the night.

I’ve already set up her laptop along with a secret bag hidden off to the side of the couch.

So with all of that done, I head down the hall to our bedroom where I lift the queen sized mattress off the boxspring.

Turning it on its side, I drag it down the hall, only pausing long enough to listen for the shower that’s graciously still going.

Once the mattress is settled in the center of our living room, I start a fire in the fireplace and light a few candles on the side tables and mantle.

On a small TV tray, I have a platter of cheeses, meats, fruits, veggies, and some special chips that go with her new diet that she’s been sticking to for a while now.

There’s white wine and a few bottles of water on ice with two glasses set up. It’s been too long since I treated my girl to a night of being spoiled and I want to make sure my fucking head doesn’t get in the way of giving her a night she truly deserves.

I hear the shower stream stop with a squeak of the faucet handles.

I need to fix those…

I shake my head to fight the flood of thoughts that threaten. I don’t want to be distracted by shit I need to do outside of what I need to do for her.

After speaking to Chris a few times through text, I told him I wanted to do this tonight with her. I’m anxious, but I know it will be special for her.

My wife has never been shy about telling me her fantasies and desires.

I can’t get out of my head enough to actually let another man touch her, but we can get creative.

Tegan’s imagination has always been something to marvel at; especially when she’s telling an animated story off the top of her head for our little girl.

I can only imagine the things she comes up with when she’s writing her scenes online.

Hearing the bathroom door open, all of my thoughts halt and I call out to her. “Don’t even think about getting dressed, Gorgeous.”

“Oh?” Tegan asks without coming down the hall and I can’t help but grin. I can hear the hesitation in her voice.

It’s no wonder, honestly.

I’ve been more than distant when it comes to sex for the last several months. My wife has been an absolute saint for the shit she has put up with from me.

Part of me knows I’m not giving her enough, and still she’s home every night, making dinner, mothering our child, making sure I’m whole even if I’m not taking care of her in every way I should be. I really don’t fucking deserve her, but fuck if I’m not going to keep her.

“Come in here, baby,” I gently coax, just waiting to see her beautiful face as she rounds the corner. In just three months, she’s dropped a healthy amount of weight and her confidence has started to improve.

When she tries on a new outfit in a new size, she lights up with pride that I’ve longed to see in her eyes since I first met her. It’s like she’s starting to see the beauty I’ve always seen when I look at her.

That beaming smile spreads across her face when she sees the candles, the bed, the fire, and the snack style dinner. Her hand lifts to her mouth and I see her eyes well up.

Fuck, how long has it been since I’ve done something special for her?

“What about Hannah? She’s going to knock over these candles if she comes in here,” is the first thing she says in a tone of worry, but her watery eyes are still taking it all in.

I walk up to her and gently take her hands to pull her towel wrapped body closer to mine. Pressing a gentle kiss to the very tip of her nose, I smile.

“Your mother picked her up about twenty minutes ago. Don’t worry, Ma double checked the overnight bag, counted all the outfits, and promised me she already had a freezer full of Hannah’s favorites. She’s all set. You don’t have to worry, baby.”

In truth, it was almost too easy to plan getting Hannah out of the house because of how organized Tegan is. Our daughter’s routine is everything and my wife has it down to a science so their days go smoothly.

“How was your shower?”

That finally brings her attention back to me fully and she laughs, seemingly at herself, and shakes her head. “I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve showered until the water started to get cold since before she was born.”

I wasn’t expecting her response to punch me in the gut. I have to fight an inner battle against every demon and voice telling me that I’m definitely to blame for that fact.

“Well, I’ll try to give you time like that more often. I know you need it. You already look more relaxed than I’ve seen you in a while.”

She releases my hands and drapes her arms over my shoulders, leaving me to rest my palms on her hips. Already, I’m cursing the towel that’s between my skin and hers.

I’m in a pair of basketball shorts and a plain white t-shirt, but that’s a choice I’m also regretting with my wife in a towel.

I clearly didn’t think this all the way through.

Bending her head forward, she brushes the most tender kiss against my lips that I eagerly return before resting my forehead against her own. “What did you have in mind with this very romantic and straight from a movie setup, Mr. Michaels?”

There’s no stopping the smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth.

“Well, I wanted you not to have to cook dinner. So, I avoided burning down the house by buying a premade charcu— shark–rooty board?” I shake my head. “You know the finger food board thing, some wine, and water. I made sure it was all stuff you could eat without worrying about your diet.”

“And the bed on the floor?” she asks with an amused, tinkling laugh that makes her eyes dance.

“Well, that part was so we would have more room without actually falling off the bed.” I inform her as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. It draws a laugh out of her that makes my heart skip a few beats.

That’s her dancing-in-the-rain laugh, and it pulls me in like it never fails to do.

I press my lips against hers, because there’s nothing else I want more than to kiss this beauty before me.

I want her to know just how happy she makes me, just how much I want her, even when the demons in my head are too loud for me to act on it.

She kisses me back with all the love that I know I don’t deserve, pressing her body closer against my own.

I can feel her fingers sliding up my nape towards the loose knot of my hair.

Her nails lightly scratch over the back of my head and I can’t help the moan that purrs out of me, into the kiss I’m so reluctant to pull away from.

Her kiss makes my demons shut the fuck up. I’m terrified they’ll get loud as the night goes on with what I have in mind for her.

Focus on her. I can do this.

Curling my fingers against her hips, I pull back just enough to speak but my lips still brush against hers with every movement.

“We’re going to get comfortable, have some wine and food, and then you’re going to open up your laptop and write.”

I see the flash of disappointment in her eyes. I smile because I know she thinks I’m wining and dining her just to leave her to her own devices.

“Don’t make that face, baby. I’m not going anywhere. You and Chris are going to write a hot and dirty scene, and I’m going to take care of the ache for you…”

She blinks those stunned eyes once, twice… three times and she slowly licks her lips. I know she’s processing, but it feels like an eternity has passed before she finally speaks again.

“You– you want me to write smut.. While you…”

“While I take care of the side effects of you writing it,” I finish for her and grin.

It’s not often I stun this woman, and watching her work through that shock is more arousing than I thought it could be.

“You know it takes hours to write those scenes,” she starts. “It takes me hours and I don’t always get off while I’m writing. Most of the time I take care of myself after or I stop to handle it and–”

I press my index finger against her lips, unable to hold in my soft chuckle before I kiss her forehead.

“Chris explained all that to me already. I want to test your ability to think straight. He can tell me how pretty your words are after I’m done doing everything in my power to distract you.

” Already her breathing has hitched and her cheeks are flushed.

“But first, you have to eat dinner and relax with me.”

Tegan nods, and finally, after another eternity, a little nervous smile breaks free.

I can certainly understand her hesitancy.

There’s no guarantee that my demons won’t get loud and she’ll get disappointed, but I medicated myself for this.

I talked this out in my therapy session last week… as uncomfortable as that was.

I’m as prepared as I can be to take care of her.

Once I get her settled on the mattress, I pour her a glass of wine and set the tray of food in between us like a cushioned picnic.

The firelight dancing over her exposed skin while the towel hugs her body like a mini dress, creates a distraction that I find hard to ignore.

Her dark brown hair falls in stringy, damp tendrils around her shoulders as she pops a morsel of food into her mouth and washes it down with her wine. We talk and laugh so easily. It’s as natural as breathing, and I realize that I’ve missed too much time like this.

Too often, I let the darkness win and pull me away from the shining light that is my girl. My other half. My beautiful Tegan.