Page 35 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

Lifting my hand, I stop him and point at my plate. He waves it off and continues his technicolor description.

I barely eat a single bite of my dinner.

I’m not one to have a weak stomach. Hell, I read dark romance like it will one day be banned.

It’s not the graphic detail that has my stomach churning.

It’s the smile he has on his face while he describes what he thinks is a genius way to get away with murder.

My throat feels like sandpaper as I drink from the bottle of water I found in the fridge. He’d offered me sweet tea, but I trust this sealed bottle more.

“It’s genius, right? Have you ever heard of anything like it before? I know you love to read a lot.”

Would I read a story like what he described? Well… yes, but I don’t think I’ve ever imagined an author looking as gleeful as he does right now. Maybe they do. I don’t know what my face looks like when I’m writing scenes.

The glint in his eyes makes me feel uncomfortable though.

The things he once wrote in his journals and his poems, all alluded to the things he had done with other women.

They all had some piece of the way he felt about my mother or about the women he spent time with instead.

His journal was every unwanted detail of every affair he’d had and the reasons he used to justify the acts.

Everything I’ve ever read that he’s written were true accounts. I don’t know if Wayne knows where the line between fact and fiction exists.

Instead of saying all of that, I swallow another gulp of water down and nod.

“It’s brilliant. Creepy, but brilliant. I definitely haven’t read anything like that before.”

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I frown. Mom, Dani, and Kat all know that I’m at this dinner. No one else really calls me.

“Shit, that’s probably Cooper,” I say and pull my phone from my pocket to see it is. “I’ll be right back.”

Without waiting for his response, I answer the call and step out of the kitchen. “Hey, baby. Everything okay?” I journey through the land of laundry to go outside. I can hear my daughter’s cries, and know exactly what’s happening.

“I’m sorry. Fuck I’m so sorry. I forgot.

Honey first then bananas… you told me and I forgot.

I just— fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, but she’s in her room.

I made sure there’s nothing she can hurt herself with.

Her blanket is there and her animals… she’s just…

Baby, I’m so fucking sorry.” Cooper’s heartbreak is palpable over the line.

I should’ve written it all down.

I mentally berate myself for just going over it several times before leaving. “It’s okay, Coop. Please calm down, baby…” My tone is level and as soothing as possible considering the conversation I just had at dinner followed by Cooper’s panicked word vomit.

“Breathe, babe. I’m coming home.” I walk back into the house to find my purse and my keys that I set on the haphazardly stacked table.

“What’s wrong?” Wayne asks with a furrowed brow. “We’re not done with dinner and I still have stuff to tell you.”

“I’m sorry. Hannah is having a meltdown and Cooper needs me.” To soften the blow and keep him from throwing his own tantrum, I kiss his cheek while throwing the strap of my purse over my shoulder.

“He’s a grown ass man and can’t handle his daughter having a temper tantrum?” He says loud enough for Cooper to hear over the line.

I see red. Before I know what’s happened, my palm cracks loudly against the cheek I had just kissed to placate him.

“Fuck. You.”

Wayne’s eyes are wide as he holds one hand against his reddening cheek, jaw slack.

Yea, I can’t believe I did that either. Welcome to the fucking club.

“I’m your father, Tegan. He can take care of his daughter. I haven’t spent time with you in months. Tell him to man the fuck up and handle— TEGAN!”

He yells after me, but I’m walking out the door, down the front steps, and towards my car. “I’m on my way home. Sing You Are My Sunshine over and over while you sit outside her room. I’ll be there as soon as I can, but that’s all you have to do. Sing and wait, okay?”

Cooper is so quiet on the other end of the phone that I think he might have hung up after hearing Wayne’s bullshit. Finally, there’s a ragged sigh from his end of the call.

“I love you, Coop.”

“I love you too.” The call ends and I get into my car; but when I go to close the door, Wayne is holding it open.

“You’re seriously leaving because your daughter is crying for you?” He asks with all the incredulity he can muster.

“Yes. My husband and my daughter need me at home, Wayne. I know that you can’t relate to dropping everything for your spouse and children, but they are and always will be my priority.

” Pulling on the door again, I snatch it free of his grip.

Maybe he let go for fear of me intentionally smashing his fingers.

I really don’t care, but I do regret having driven here with the windows down.

“Thanks for letting me cook your dinner. Enjoy the leftovers.”

Just as quickly as his anger had painted his face, it disappears and he has the audacity to look heartbroken.

“Tegan, I’m sorry…” he says in a broken croak. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want this night to end like this. I love you and just wanted to spend more time with you finally. Please… I’m sorry.”

Turning the ignition and putting the car in reverse, I shake my head. “Bye, Wayne.”

I back out of the drive and speed home to my family with tears burning my eyes.

I can’t cry.

I have roughly a twenty minute drive to pull my shit together and be what my family needs me to be. He’s going to need me to calm him down after I get her settled.

I’m no good to either of them if I’m reeling in my own emotions.

I take a deep breath, keep the windows down, turn the music up, and pack away everything about tonight that made my head spin. I can think about it all later.

Right now, I have to be strong and take care of them.

Parking in our driveway, I meet my eyes in the reflection of the rearview mirror.

“I’m fine.” I assure the girl in the mirror, then I go into the house to be that pillar of strength for my little girl and the love of my life.