Page 25 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

I’m currently being punished with a silent treatment for calling him out on ignoring me several times over the last week. That was after he commanded that I no longer do public writing that doesn’t involve him. Which means, no more flirty scenes or plot development with the Demon…or anyone.

Any of that has to be done privately and he wants me to tell him when it happens. I’m less and less happy with the arrangement. He’s worse than Jackson trying to get me to leave Cooper.

The only thing holding me back is that he told me he was interested in meeting Cooper.

He wants to get to know him in hopes they will have some kind of bond.

That was definitely never something Jackson offered, and I find myself intrigued by it.

I just hate the things I have to do in order to make him happy with me; and when I voice that, I’m always wrong somehow.

So with Cooper asleep and Hannah’s little snores lightly humming through the monitor on the side table, I settle under a fuzzy blanket on the couch with my laptop. Chris isn’t logged on but I have a message waiting that I didn’t see on my phone.

Chris

You’ve been doing well wishing me good night and good morning every day through your punishment. I know you didn’t mean to upset me last week. I forgive you. I’d like to see my kitten’s tits with her goodnight message tonight. I’ll be around tomorrow evening and we can talk. I love you.

I can feel bile burning the back of my throat. I’ve never been a person to allow myself to be walked all over.

Orgasms and sexuality are not worth not being who I am… but Cooper…

Cooper could gain a friend out of this. Cooper might get something out of this if I just try a little harder.

I can behave.

I don’t have to call out every little thing that makes me uncomfortable.

I can power through all of it…I also don’t want to piss Chris off. I feel like he knows too much about me. If I ever do call it quits, I need an escape plan of sorts. I’ll need to know I can extract myself from the situation without it getting volatile.

How the fuck did I get here?

I was so careful, and Chris peeled back my insecurities, telling me why I had no right to feel them or if I felt them it made me weak… He didn’t think I was weak. He told me constantly that I was strong and I would endure.

He had so much faith that I could face things that I would normally shy away from and come to crave them.

There were such lovely promises and affirmations woven into every long night conversation to the point I was hooked on his attention.

I don’t even know when the switch was flipped, but now I’m in it.

I can at least stay a little longer to find out if I can actually benefit Cooper more than just having someone to lean on and satisfy me when he’s behind his walls.

A notification pings, drawing my attention to my screen.

Demon

Hey, Pretty Bird. What are you up to tonight?

Rissa

Hey, you. Oh you know, the usual. Escaping life.

Demon

Do you want to talk about it? You know I’m here for more than just the fiction.

Rissa

No offense, but I’ve heard that before and now I’m just tired of being disappointed.

Demon

That’s fair. I don’t need specifics, you know. You can just tell me how you’re feeling… or if you’d rather, we can work on a scene to distract you from whatever is upsetting you.

Rissa

How do you know I’m upset? I escape life when I’m in a good mood too.

Demon

You never tell me you’re escaping life unless Mr. Big Bad is in one of his moods. I’m guessing I got you into trouble since you keep dipping into DM’s to write with me when I’m around. You never start up anything in the main chat anymore.

Rissa

The pretty bird belongs to the boss man. She shouldn’t be flirting with anyone, even if it’s completely verbal and nothing is actually going to come of it. I’m lucky he doesn’t lock her away in some grand cage, that doesn’t look like a cage; but totally is a cage.

Demon

Lol. That might be the next step since you’re only allowed to greet new people with no flirting from a character who has the quick wit for some top tier banter.

Rissa

Well now you’re just trying to flatter me.

Demon

The truth can be flattering, right?

I can’t help but smile at my screen. We’re just chatting and it’s still lifting a weight off of me that’s been sitting heavy ever since I woke up.

I knew it was a therapy day and that it was going to be hectic with work, appointments, school, and the pressure of Chris not speaking to me on top of it all…

Ten minutes of a conversation where someone tells me that it’s okay to escape reality, and to talk about what’s bothering me just feels… freeing .

I won’t burden him with real shit though.

Rissa

Alright, flatterer, let’s write and escape life, shall we?

He sets up a scene between our characters, discussing things like how his character had set up a homestead in the world after finding himself there. They talk about her life before she was claimed by the shifter who proclaimed himself her mate.

It’s a long scene and my posts get responses further and further between. It’s getting late and it’s not like him to just disappear without giving me a heads up. It’s pretty common for other people to just disappear in the middle of writing without a word, but never him.

I switch over to Youtube to watch a few videos, since watching the main chat is depressing. Chris jumped on while keeping himself invisible, and I switched my icon to dark about an hour before he showed up.

Once I was writing I didn’t want to be bothered.

So I’ve watched him flirt with some new writers and shake my head.

I’m not ready for that conversation, so I leave it alone.

I don’t have the mental capacity after the day I’ve had.

I go ahead and take my apology picture of my tits without my face in the photo.

That’s one thing I always remain cautious about, and turn my status to available.

I read over his message again, letting the words hit home; but I take a breath and load the picture. Sending it to him, I put in my “Good night, handsome” message and then go invisible again.

Just as I’m about to give up and assume my demon went to sleep, a message pings in our window. Assuming he wrote a novella sized post, I click back over and blink several times when I read the message on the screen.

Demon

I’m so sorry, I got pulled away. Did you come?

I’m still blinking, reading the message twice, and then reading the last post I sent him.

We weren’t doing anything sexual. As much as I hate it, I do respect that Chris doesn’t want me doing that with anyone else while we’re working on whatever this relationship is trying to be.

After a moment, he must realize that he sent that message to the wrong person.

Demon

Oh fuck… That wasn’t… I– fuck.

I’m laughing at my screen as I read his panicked words. My demon has a little side piece getting him off with smut while he writes the clean shit with me. It’s safe to say that I’ve escaped reality, and I’m thoroughly enjoying where the night has taken me.