Page 11 of I’m Fine Save Me (The Spiral Duet #1)

Chapter seven

Cooper

Four Months Later

“ C ooper!” her voice is pained and I fucking hate it.

Where is that goddamn doctor?

They had to induce her early because the baby’s heart rate just kept slowing down.

The pre-eclampsia was starting to get dangerous for Tegan too.

It was just one complication after the other and she started sinking into a depression.

She blames her weight even though the woman still eats vegetables like candy, and avoids all the things on the ‘don’t’ list for pregnancy like it’s part of her religion.

She’s been harder on herself ever since they put her on bedrest three months ago.

I even had to raise my voice at her on our anniversary because she thought moving baby furniture was a good idea.

I get that she was bored out of her mind, but when I saw her pushing that dresser…

I flat out panicked. I actually made her cry because I had never yelled at her in our entire relationship.

Now she’s begging me to make things stop hurting. The induction drugs were started twelve hours ago and her epidural stopped working about an hour ago.

The truly horrible part? That’s about when the really hard labor pains started too.

She’s refusing to squeeze my hand or her mom’s, afraid she’ll hurt us.

The nurse has been an absolute angel and given Tegan other options.

Right now I’m holding onto a twisted up towel of which Tegan is holding onto the other end.

She’s pulling on it when she feels a contraction and I’m pulling back in a battle of tug-o-war that I never saw myself playing.

The tears that she does allow to slip free break my heart, and she’s fighting so hard not to cry.

My brave, beautiful wife wants to deliver our daughter into the world without breaking down.

Even with her mom pressing a cold cloth to her forehead and telling her it’s okay and me pulling on this damn towel, she’s trying so hard to keep it all together.

I see her eyes dart to the monitor that measures our little girl’s heartbeat every time she’s made it through another contraction.

She’s so fucking strong; and with all the pain she’s in, she is still focused on the wellbeing of our little girl.

“She’s doing great, baby. That number hasn’t dropped below eighty since we got started.

” I kiss her forehead while she catches her breath and I rest a hand over her stomach.

I can feel our daughter kicking at my hand, so she’s definitely awake and ready for her big debut. “You feel that? She’s gonna dance her way out of there any minute now.” I’m trying to keep things light without making too many jokes.

I messed up and made a joke earlier that pissed off Dani.

It turned into a big blow up that shouldn’t have happened, but I haven’t had time to go find her and apologize.

Dani was just trying to joke around, but I could tell Tegan was struggling with having visitors.

I snapped at my sister in law when I shouldn’t have.

I’m just lucky that Allison loves her oldest so much that she didn’t leave the delivery room after that whole ordeal.

I fully expected her to hit me with her shoe at some point though for being a complete dick.

This is taking too long. Tegan keeps having these contractions and she’s in so much pain.

There’s not a single goddamn thing I can do to take the pain away.

The anesthesiologist came back in and basically told Tegan she was too close to delivery for him to figure out why the epidural was no longer working.

She was on her own now and she can’t feel her legs, but everything above mid thigh? Yea, that’s making her want to cry in agony, but she’s still fighting it and breathing through so much of it.

My wife has never been one for pain. Even when she gets piercings done, she makes fun of herself for being a wuss about it. Now she’s extracting a tiny human from her body that’s no longer being aided by numbing.

“Alright, Mrs. Michaels, we’re going to try to get this baby to drop a little more.

She seems to be quite content even though everything else is ready to go.

You’re going to pull on the towel. I want you to try to pull Cooper off his feet for me on this next contraction.

Push down on the stirrups and give me everything you’ve got, okay?

We’re going to get this little princess out without a c-section.

” The head labor nurse, Hazel, tells her.

The woman has been such a saint through this whole process. I don’t think Tegan would’ve been in better hands with anyone else. The doctor isn’t here yet, having told us she would be here for the delivery, but her team would handle everything up until go time.

I grab the towel and we spend two hours playing this game.

Tegan is exhausted and crying openly now.

She sucks it up for each contraction, but crumbles every time it passes.

I hear her murmuring soft words to my mother in law, and she sounds like a broken little girl seeking comfort from her mother.

My wife holds my hand when she’s in between contractions, but I always know when it's time to go again because she very quickly lets go. “Tegan, you’re doing so good. The doctor is coming in. We’re going to have to use a tool to get her head out.

She seems to be wedged in the birth canal and her sensor has come off, so we can’t see her vitals anymore—she’s fine, Tegan. ”

The nurse must’ve seen the panic in both our eyes because that last bit was tacked on rather quickly.

“She’s fine. She just needs some help getting out of there.

So we’re going to use this cup to suction onto the top of her head and help pull her out while you push.

” I see Tegan’s hesitancy, but her fatigue is there too and I know she’s been giving it everything she has.

“It’s okay, baby. We’re going to have her in our arms in no time.

Safe and healthy.” I pray that I’m not lying to my wife.

“Cooper, we’re going to move you up beside her because the doctor is going to need room for this.” Hazel instructs me and I feel that stab of helplessness again.

At least with the stupid tug-o-war suggestion, I was doing something to help.

Now all I can do is press my forehead to Tegan’s temple and brush her sweat soaked hair away from her face while Allison continues to wet the cloth she’s using with cold water and press it to Tegan’s neck and forehead.

I hear everything her mother tells her now. She says soft, supportive things like “She’s going to be here before you know it.”

“She’s going to be so beautiful. You’re going to love her so much.”

The one she says that makes us both scoff is, “One day you won’t even remember how much this hurt.” I’m pretty sure this amazing woman of mine with the memory of an elephant will never forget the hell we’ve gone through just to get to this point.

“You’re so brave and strong, baby,” I tell her when she starts pushing and I glance down to see the doctor working our little girl’s head free of the canal with the cup.

Those tears stream down my wife’s face while she grits her teeth and finally starts squeezing my hand.

Thankfully, it’s my right hand and not the one we are still rehabilitating.

She grips her mother’s hand on the other side and rolls her head back with a loud cry of agonizing pain that tears my heart in half. I just wish I could take all the pain away.

Why the hell do couples have more than one kid? I don’t think I can watch her go through this again if she wants more children. I’m not strong enough to watch her suffer nausea for months, discomfort for the last half of pregnancy, and now these hours of torment…

Then I hear it.

First Tegan’s sigh of absolute relief and then the soft, very upset cry of a newborn baby girl who is in a very cold room instead of her mother’s womb.

The doctor lifts her up and she’s red faced and squalling her protests against the cold of the room.

The soft sobs of my wife hit me next as they lay the naked little infant against her chest. I cut the cord and feel the tears now trailing down my own face.

The sight before me is threatening to bring me to my knees.

My girls.

My incredible warrior of a wife and our tiny little angel cradled against her chest.

I’m doing everything in my power to ignore the mess that’s covering the baby. With all the complications, it’s best she has this time in contact with her mother… but the doctor is soon peeling her away to fully examine her, making Tegan’s tired eyes widen in panic.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. They have to clean her up and check her over.” I assure her and kiss her forehead again.

“And we have to sew you up. It’s safer if we do that when you’re not holding her.” The doctor says, causing me to look at her in confusion.

“Can’t you numb her up now that the baby is here?”

“No, Mr. Michaels. I have to sew up these tears and it will take too long for the medicine to set in. She should still be numb enough from the epidura–”

“That stopped working hours ago.” I’m trying not to snap like I did at Dani, because this woman is taking care of my wife and daughter; but she doesn’t seem to be considering Tegan’s comfort at all.

“Women handle things like this all the time, Mr. Michaels, she’ll be fine.” Then the doctor gets started.

My wife grabs my right hand and doesn’t take her eyes off of the baby across the room. “Hannah. We both liked Hannah… that hurricane that came through the week we found out we were having her.”

She’s babbling. Which means what the doctor is doing hurts like hell and she’s trying to keep herself distracted so I don’t lose my shit again.

I can’t fail her again.

“Hannah Grace Michaels then?” I ask her and Tegan nods. I smile and look up at Allison. It’s the surprise on her face that makes me smile. Her granddaughter will share her middle name. “What do you think, Ma?”