Page 57 of Hamartia

I fucking love it.

It’s a little awkward, the angle, but we make it work and I manage to wrap a hand around his dick while I fuck him. It’s only a few more thrusts until I feel it in my balls. The perfect close heat of his body around my cock, the little clenches he does when I hit it just right, the sounds he makes between breaths. All of it undoes me quickly.

Miraculously, I feel his cock start to spurt at almost the same time as my own, and he curses in Korean as his body arches up from the force of it. The clenching around my cock as he comes, turns my mind to white noise and my body into one giant dick. I feel the orgasm everywhere; the top of my head, the tips of my ears, behind my eyes, my fucking asshole. Incredible. It’s like each time with him some new part of me that I didn’t even know was there, is uncovered. Like sex with him is some archaeological dig. Who knows what else is lying under all this fucking dirt?

After, I gently ease out of him and tug off the condom.

When his breathing returns to normal he cracks open an eye and gives me this massive, pleased, smile that turns me inside out.

“Mmm. You are getting better at that,” he says, dragging a finger down my softening cock. It tickles but I don’t pull away. He looks fascinated with it, and I like the look of fascination on his face. Especially when it pertains to me. He circles the end, then pushes into the foreskin to the slit with one long pale finger which feels really fucking nice actually. Soothing. Like a foot massage after a run.

“I’ve had a pretty good teacher,” I grin, and he huffs out a laugh.

“Ah, yes. You wanted me to teach you how todance.”

He’s talking about the Twitter post I’d made after he called me in LA.

“You got that, huh.” I grin. “That’s what’s called anInnuendo.”

“Inn-u-en-doh,” he repeats. “I like this word.”

His finger leaves my cock and goes to his mouth where he sucks it inside. It looks almost thoughtless, just some absent action, but the gleam in his eyes tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing. Like when he licked my armpit and almost made me come from it. Like when he giggled after clenching his ass around my fucking cock. He knows what he’s doing.

Because unlike me, he’s done this before.

The thought makes me feel irrationally pissed off, but I’m not sure why. Jealousy seems the obvious answer but I’ve never been particularly jealous about this kind of shit before, so I don’t know. I’ve also never fucked another guy before so I guess anything is possible. For me, at least. Him? I don’t really know. Because I still don’t really know what he’s doing here with me. What this is for him. We were sort of enemies to sort of friends to sort of fuckbuddies. I’m straight. I mean, I was. What happens when he goes back to Korea? Do I go back to being straight? The idea seems laughable to me now.

“You leave New York when?” he asks, eyes roving over my tattoos.

“Technically, today.”

He blinks up at me. “Today?”

“I’m only booked into my hotel until today…” I hesitate, not sure how much to reveal here. What makes me look less pathetic? “I wasn’t due to stick around this long.”

He nods, slowly. Understanding that Iampathetic.

“I’m due to head to Colorado for Thanksgiving. See my mom. But I never made any firm plans outside of that because I wasn’t sure. I was gonna hire a car, do the whole road trip thing. Been so long since I’ve driven anywhere really except around downtown LA which is more like a human safari through Hell…” He looks lost. “So yeah, I was looking forward to it. Just me and the road, you know. But then…well.”

You,I infer.

“I’m sorry I ruined your plans,” he says, in a small voice.

“I didn’t mean that. You didn’t. Not at all.” I scoot a little closer. “I mean technically I can still do that. It’s three or four days tops from here to there and my mom’s not expecting me until Friday. So, I still have time. Or it’s a four-hour flight, so really it’s not a big deal. You didn’t ruin my plans.”

“But technically you leave New York today?” He seems a little guarded still.

“No. Technically I leave my roomat the Mandarin Oriental today. But New York has other hotels, I think.”

I chance a half smile but his expression is frozen. Totally unreadable.

Clarity, Rapha. Jae likes clarity.

“I could stick around for a few more days,” I tell him. “If that’s something you would want.”

When he lowers his eyes, I think I’ve fucked it. Come on too strong, again. Been too clear, again. What am I trying to do? Date him? A guy who lives on the other side of the fucking world.A guy.Who lives on theother side of the fucking world.

“But either way, it’s no problem. I know you’re super fucking busy, we both are really. And this has been fun so, no pressure, dude.”