Page 105 of Hamartia

“Did you want to do something tonight, for Christmas Eve? There is a company dinner, they have a private room booked at a Hotel in Gangnam—some of the others will be there. And since they know of you now…”

The lady in the apron comes over and takes my card and wanders off with it. I glance down at the check and do the calculation quickly. It’s insanely cheap. I reach into my jacket for some cash to leave as a tip.

“Is that what you want? You want me to come meet them?”

We hadn’t talked about this and he doesn’t sound overly enthusiastic about the prospect, but it could just be tiredness.

I worry that maybe he does want to go, but he’d rather I wasn’t there, so I say, “If you want to go I can hang out here in town for a bit, grab a few more beers, and then head back to the apartment. I’ll see you there later?”

“No,” he says immediately. “I don’t want that. It’s Christmas Eve and you are in Seoul and I want to be with you.”

My chest does little flip flop at that.

“Okay. So tell me where you want me to be and I’ll be there.”

The woman comes back with my card and a smile, handing me a receipt which has the dollar conversion on it. Twelve fucking dollars. For the best fried chicken and beer I’ve ever had. I drain the last of the beer and slide the three 50,000 won notes under the empty bottle and head out. Jae is silent all the while. I’m thinking he’s fallen asleep when he speaks again. I’m outside now, it’s still snowing.

“Would you mind if we ate at home? In our pajamas.”

“Mind? I’d fucking love that.”

“Really? I promise I will be more fun in Tokyo.” He sounds apologetic. “I’m just…tired.”

“Baby, I get it. I told you, I just want to be with you. So, when will you be home? Should I head there now or…?”

He sighs softly, all low and sweet. “A couple more hours. You should have some soju and sweet potato. But don’t stay out in the snow too long.”

I can’t help grin at this. I’m sure Jae spends sixty percent of his brain power worrying that people he cares about are going to catch a cold.

“Or, I could send a car for you now? If you want to come here and wait for me. We have a lot of soju here.”

I consider it. Seeing Jae do what he does, that fucking aura he has, at work. But then I remember he’ll be doing it surrounded by the people who polish his armor and tell him what to do. Who to fuck. How to fuck them. Nah, I’m likely to get drunk and punch someone. Probably Kai.

“I’ll wander around for a bit longer—don’t worry I’m wrapped up nice and warm. I’ll see you back at the apartment.”

“Okay, then I will arrange for dinner to be delivered later. Is there anything you want, that will remind you of home? I don’t know if they will be able to find it here, but I can try.”

Something desperately fond rises up into my throat, sticking there. I have to clear my throat to dislodge it. “Nah, it’s fine. I wanna have Christmas in Seoul. Let’s do it all your way.”

“My way,” he whispers.

I can see his smile through the phone. Cheekbones high, dark eyes glittering and teeth poking out behind full lips.

“Okay,” he says in a small voice. “I will see you later, at home.”

Home.I think my heart actually stops beating for a second.

From somewhere I find my voice. “Hey, wait, should I buy pajamas then? Cause I didn’t bring any.”

“Kai has invited us to dinner on the 27th,” Jae says, as he shoves a load of stew into his mouth.

“Really? That sounds great,” I lie.

He bites away a small, knowing smile. “Kai is a great cook.”

“Yeah, well, it’s definitely the food I’m worried about so that’s good to know.”

I feel loose and warm from the soju. Though maybe it’s because Jae is in these incredible short shorts and a thin Gucci t-shirt that’s slipping off one shoulder to expose the raised point that I want to trace with my tongue. He looks at me as he sets his chopsticks down, lifting his small shot glass. He’s sipping it delicately, not knocking it back as I’d been doing.