Page 36 of Hamartia
“It’s okay,” he says, softly. “I do.”
Ifollow him through the apartment like he’s the pied fucking piper and I’m under some spell and then we’re in his bedroom. Some huge space that looks and feels like an expensive hotel room and it occurs to me that perhaps he doesn’t live here. Perhaps this is just some place he rents when he’s in town, where he can fuck men. Men like me.
This thought makes me freeze just inside the door, and I watch as he wanders barefoot over to switch on a glass table lamp. The bed is low and huge and raised slightly on a wooden platform. Above the headboard hangs a piece of abstract art the size of a room. Grey and black with a splash of red in the center.
“Do you live here?” I ask, looking around.
“Sometimes.”
I nod. Unsure of what to say as he comes toward me and runs both hands through his hair. When it’s pushed back from his face and I can see the smooth skin of his forehead, I have the weirdest urge to kiss him there. On the head. Press my nose against his hair to see what it smells like. Camille’s always smells like a summer garden. I draw my eyes over his face, eyes, cheek, nose, lips, chin. Every part of him is flawless. Like a painting or a sculpture.
I saw Michelangelo’s David once and I think Lee Jaehyun is more beautiful than that slab of perfectly-shaped marble.
He stares at me a few moments, waiting for something, before he asks in a soft voice, “Do you want me to kiss you?”
It’s not asked seductively, more like he’s asking for consent, I think.
“Is that what you want?” I reply because I want it to be what he wants; I want to know that he wants me a fraction of the way I want him.
“I want a lot more than that, Raphael.” This time it is seductive. Stars in his eyes and a promise in his voice and my cock throbs with want. “But I thought it might be a good place for us to start,” he says softly.
“Then yeah.” I breathe. “I want you to kiss me.”
His mouth twitches with a smile as he leans in, lips edging towards mine. Fuck, his mouth looks wet and tempting and I can’t help licking my tongue across mine in anticipation.
He slots his hot mouth over mine gently, whiskey-kissed lips and spiced tongue making me yield immediately. I have to stop myself letting out a groan because finally,fucking finally. His hand comes up and slips around my neck as he presses his body against mine, dominating the kiss from his slightly shorter position. When I wrap an arm around his waist, he deepens the kiss again, licking his tongue into my mouth filthy and slow, and God help me, because this time I can’t stop the moan that slips past my lips into his mouth.
He matches it with one of his own, before sliding his hand up and into my hair, pulling on it to drag my head back further. I’m glad I didn’t cut it then. Glad I’d left something for him to hold onto. Open and wanting, I pant into his mouth as he pulls back slightly to look down at me.
“I have thought about doing that since I saw you shoving Kung Pao chicken into your mouth,” he says, breathing hard.
His pupils are huge and his voice a little breathless and I want to kiss him again immediately.
“I’ve thought about it a lot longer that than,” I admit, leaning in to kiss him hard. My next words aren’t ones I ever thought I’d say to another man. “Please, let me suck your cock.”
Suddenly, I can’t remember wanting anything as badly as I want to taste his dick. Feel the weight of it on my tongue, watch him grow more and more aroused around it. His eyes are studying me carefully, a dark penetrating gaze that bores deep into mine. I feel crushed under it.
“Are you sure that is what you want?” He looks…worried for me?
I smile, nodding, bringing my hand up to brush my thumb over his slight frown. “Yeah, I’m exceptionally fucking sure.”
His mouth lifts into a small careful smile, frown melting away.
“Okay.” He slips his hand through mine so he can walk us toward the bed. Then he lets go and sits down, leaning back on his elbows to look up at me and I can only stare. Long, elegant body arranged like a wet fucking dream, head dipped back and legs parted slightly.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I say out loud.
I’ve thought it a million times since I first laid eyes on him, but never thought I’d ever be able to say it out loud. Certainly not to him. But all I want to do now is compliment him, praise him, worship him. Maybe I should kneel?
Jae’s eyes round, softening, andfuck me,his cheeks flush a little. Like he’s not used to being complimented like this, which can’t be true. When he scrapes his top teeth over his bottom lip, my cock twitches. Then he lifts a hand and beckons me forward with a flick of his fingers. I’m on him in a second, pushing him back on the bed as I drag my mouth over his lips and down his throat, pulling on the neck of his t-shirt to kiss to suck my way across his collarbone to his shoulder. He moans, soft and loose, and tilts his hips up to press our cocks together and I can’t stop the groan that tears out of my throat.
“Fuck, Jae…” I moan, finding his mouth again. “I want…” I’m biting at his lips now, nibbling the plump wet skin too roughly but I can’t stop myself. I feel like something’s unravelling inside me and I’ve not a fucking chance of wrapping it back up.
“Tell me what you want, Raphael,” he says, as I move my mouth to his throat again, scraping my teeth across the smooth skin encasing his Adam’s apple. He smells incredible; sweet and delicate, but with an undertone of masculinity. Where my voice sounds ragged and torn, his voice is completely controlled, cool almost. He pushes at my chest slightly and forces my head up to look at him. “Tell me.”
“I told you. I want to suck your cock. Let me, please.”
I can’t even process that in the space of two minutes I’ve begged a guy twice to let me suck his cock. I’m not even drunk anymore. I’m very fucking aware. Present, sober, and so turned on my whole body feels like a single exposed nerve. He keeps his eyes on mine and sits up ever so slightly, reaching between us to unbuckle his belt—black leather with the Gucci buckle—and push down his torn designer jeans and black briefs. I fall back at the vision that’s slowly revealed.