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“You're kidding me, right?” I shouted, losing all patience with my boyfriend.

“It was your fault, yes!” He replied. “If you hadn't let me, we wouldn't have had sex in the pool and you wouldn't have had to do all the nonsense you did today.”

“Martin…”

I didn't know what to say. He was being a complete idiot. I hated it when he did that. We had been fighting for about ten minutes and MJ simply seemed to ignore me for most of the time, but when he decided to open his mouth... he sounded like the most ignorant person in the world. Putting all the blame for what happened in the pool on me.

We both wanted it, so we had sex.

Damn it!

I crossed my arms and snorted. I had no idea what else to use as an argument, he was sure it was my fault, and he didn't care about all Jazmine and I had to do to make the filming cease to exist.

“I could have been kicked out of the cheerleading squad if someone had checked the footage.” I explained. “And you could suffer the same consequences on the swim team!”

“Oh! And you saved the day? Is that what you want to hear? Well, here it is!” He sat on the bed and started putting on one of his sneakers. “I have to go out with the guys on the team to leave a good impression, so that’s enough. You've already solved our problem, that's great, babe.”

When he finished his action, he came to me and let his hands rest on my shoulders. His eyes captured me, demanding attention but not wanting to give it.

“Hey...” He always did that. Every time it was the same thing. Every fight had the same result. “Hey, look at me!”

“No…” I was staring at the center of his chest. I didn't want to, I wouldn't face him because in those moments I never found the prince I always dreamed of, but rather the guy who, at times, was cruel in his words and attitudes.

“Look. At. Me.” I felt the tears wanting to take me over. “Veronica. Damn!” His fingers grab my face, pulling it up. I finally gave in to what he wanted. “Baby, don't do this, I hate fighting with you like that.”

“So don't fight...” I asked quietly, letting the first tears flow.

His lips pressed against mine.

“Stop, Martin…”

“Kiss me…”

“No!” I growled and what I got was his grip getting tighter on my face before letting go.

There was fury in his eyes. And there was excitement in his body. He was in his — which I particularly called — chaotic state. I hated those moments. He took a deep breath while I needed a while to sniffle to try to control my nerves.

“Roni... My love...” my boyfriend's voice suddenly softened. Like he just turned a key and... it was always like that. He was a monster for a moment and then he went back to being his usual loving and caring boyfriend.

“No… Enough, Martin.” I didn't know exactly what I wanted to say. “I need to go, I'm tired.”

“Come with me. Come meet the guys, baby.” he asked, but I just shook my head in denial.

I was exhausted. He sucked too much of me in those moments and left me so rotten that I felt like I was already decomposing. It was horrible. And that's why I clung to the only thing I could: he loved me. He was still the boy with the sweet eyes and gentle smile that I fell in love with.

“I need to sleep, I have an early practice tomorrow.” was the only excuse I could formulate, because it was also the only thing I knew he would respect.

“Ok, you do you... but you shouldn't leave your man out there like that, babe.” he teased me.

I stared at him in disbelief.

“If my man doesn't have the ability to keep his fucking dick in his pants, then I don't think he's my man.” I announced hatefully, then grabbed my bag and stomped out of there.

I was frustrated. Burning with hatred. Completely ruined.

I didn't know what to do or how to hold back my tears, so I just walked around the campus.

I walked until I felt more than unbearable pain.