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Assenti, mas, ainda assim, a sensação não me deixou.

With my phone in hand, I started checking off the list I had made on the notes app, so I could avoid forgetting anything important for the trip. My suitcase was open on the bed, and I was settled in wearing a sweatshirt and pajama shorts. It was only four days in Florida, but still, the nerves about the competition made me even more anxious and worried about forgetting something.

“Kendra!” I heard Jaz calling me from the living room, the door to my room was open and everything was chaos. The makeup and competition clothes were already on the couch, as well as the bow that each of us would wear in our hair.

“What?”

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Honestly, I'm not very hungry.”

“I'm going to order boiled potatoes, meat and rice for everyone.” Sid announced.

“I don’t know if I want this…” I commented.

“We need energy, and I don't think eating a burger before the competition is a good idea. It might upset our stomachs if we're nervous.” Sidney seemed determined in her speech, so I ended up just accepting it. I had no idea if I would eat a lot or not, but at least it wouldn't be any kind of junk food.

I went back to my tasks and conferences until I finally closed my suitcase, took it to the living room, leaving it with the rest of my things and threw myself on the sofa, breathing a little more relieved that everything was packed.

Jaz and Sid sat down with me as well, and after a while, the food finally arrived. We spread out to eat, and the silence swallowed us up. I felt like we were all in a private bubble, each with our own thoughts and insecurities about what was coming next.

As I had imagined, I didn't end up eating much, but at least I filled my stomach. It all felt kind of nostalgic, like it was a new year all over again. The feeling of closure filled my chest, and it was both beautiful and painful. At the same time, a strange satisfaction and hope warmed everything.

“Do you think we… Well, we can win?” Jaz broke the silence.

“Of course we can!” Sid replied and her excitement was so great that it made me believe we had already won.

Maybe deep down I knew that yes, we had already won. Not the competition but getting through last year was an intense task and we all deserved to win the national championship. We deserved it individually, but also as a team.

“I know we will win!” I stated, throwing my most honest wish into the universe.

My friends smiled, excited.

We all met in front of the gym at 6 a.m., and from there we boarded a bus that took us straight to the airport. My mom had told me just before I went to sleep that she would meet us before we caught our flight, because unfortunately she couldn't make it to Daytona, but she wanted to see Colleen and me before we left.

And if before I was nervous about the competition, now I was nervous about seeing my mother first of all. The lollipop in my mouth, at that time of the morning, made that very clear.

When we arrived at Dallas airport, I texted my mom and she met us while we waited for everyone to check in and drop off our bags.

“Hey, my darlings.” She approached in her impeccable clothes, gave me a hug and then another one to Colleen. “And where's your girlfriend?”

I looked back and saw Veronica at the counter, handing her documents to the woman behind it. I pointed at her, and my mother nodded.

“Well, later, if possible, I'll say hi to her.” Mom said. “Girls, I came to wish you good luck and give you a symbolic gift.”

It was then that I noticed the little black bags in my mother's hand. She held one out to each of us, handing us our gifts. I didn't know what to expect, but I was more excited than I hadbeen about the Christmas gift I had received just a few months earlier.

I opened the bag, finding a white box inside. It was a fairly large box, but I managed to open it and found a necklace, which Colleen had received as well. The silver snake pendant gleamed in the light. It was delicate and simple.

“Besides being Belinda’s symbol, a snake means renewal,” Mom explained. “They’re supposed to bring you good luck.”

I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. It was great to have her support at this time, and even though she couldn’t make it to Daytona to see us, it was special that she had bothered to come all the way to Texas to deliver the gifts.

“Thank you!” I thanked.

“Win this championship…” Mom whispered, holding me close to her.

I nodded, facing her once more.