Page 64

64

ledger

a few months later

“How’re you feeling?” Auburn asked. I was only able to shake my head. Words were not something that I was capable of forming.

Auburn came over to me, and I let her stand between my thighs. Slowly, I rested my head against her stomach and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. She smelled like home. The memories flooded me. The way she lay in our bed at night, the way she curled herself into a ball as she fit perfectly into the crook of my arm, even the way she walked downstairs in the morning to make me coffee before practice. She smelled like everything I ever wanted, and her being here with me—at this moment—made it that much less…scary.

She caressed my hair as we sat in the quiet locker room, just the two of us.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, resting her chin on top of my head. I opened my eyes and glanced around the empty locker room. I was sitting on the bench for the last time. The noise and activity had faded; most of the players were already out on the ice for warm-ups. Coach understood the significance of this moment and had given me space to take it all in—this was my last game, or as he put it, the first game of my new career.

I grabbed her waist, refusing to let go.

“Are you ready?” Auburn asked, as I looked up into her bright eyes.

The corner of my lip twisted into a smirk as she looked out at the door, knowing it was a comfort that she always knew where the door was.

It had become something I’d adjusted to, helping her cope through the fear of being trapped, so when we would enter a new room, I would always instruct her exactly where the nearest exit was in case she wanted to leave. The only place she never asked was inside our home.

“Are you ready?” I repeated her question, knowing she was going back up to the stands to meet my parents for the first time.

She shook her head. “I’m nervous, but this moment isn’t about me.” My hand reached up to brush a curl off, and I noticed the lipstick that she wore.

“You look beautiful. They will love you.” She huffed out a small laugh that sounded more like a sweet giggle.

“I don’t know about that, but seriously, Ledger, you have to go.” She motioned toward the doors that led out to the ice.

“Okay,” I whispered before getting up and giving her a kiss on her lips. “My good luck charm.”

“I thought your good luck charm was fucking me before a game?” She laughed, her cheeks blushing.

The corner of my lip twisted into a smirk. “That too.”

As soon as the horn blew, telling us the game was starting, I watched the rest of my team skate out onto the ice. A rush of mixed emotions flooded me as I joined them. The cold air of the rink mingled with the excitement of the game ahead, but underneath it all was a deep sense of finality. The end of one era and the start of another.

With each passing moment, the reality of the situation sank in deeper. The ice had been my home since I was a kid, where victories were celebrated and defeats were overcome. It was time to say goodbye to the familiar routine, the camaraderie of teammates, and the roar of the crowd.

But amid the nostalgia, there was also a spark of excitement—a glimmer of anticipation for the journey ahead. This wasn’t an end; it was a new beginning. The start of a hockey career filled with unknown challenges and opportunities waiting to be seized.

“You ready?” Alex asked as we got into position.

“To be Damien’s coach forever?”

Alex chuckled. I had taken a job working at a youth hockey organization. Although I wasn’t working with Damien exactly, I was working with the Ravens to help coach youth around the city. Coach helped get the job for me, and it was an easy yes allowing the sport to still be in my life without running it.

“The kids are going to run you wild.”

I looked ahead at the other team and laughed, because there was so much he didn’t know. As the puck dropped, signaling the start of the game, I took a deep breath, letting the moment wash over me. With Auburn in my heart and a sense of purpose driving me forward, I stepped onto the ice, ready to embrace whatever the future held.

* * *

auburn

I hesitantly walked up to the family and friend’s suite up top. Stassi was up here with Damien, so I had someone to help me, and they had met Mr. and Mrs. Cole before. I adjusted my jersey, Ledger’s number tonight since it was his last, then opened the door to the suite.

My eyes went to Stassi, and next to her were two older adults both wearing the same jersey I was, but if they weren’t, I would’ve recognized them. Ledger was a perfect combination of the two.

I took a deep breath, then walked over to them. “Hey, Auburn.” My friend gave me a quick hug, holding me a second longer. When I pulled away, I nodded, a little gesture I was doing okay before I turned around toward Ledger’s parents.

“You must be the Auburn that Ledger always talks about.” Ledger’s mom immediately wrapped me up in the tightest hug possible. I let out a little anxious laugh before pulling away.

“That’s me.” I laughed. I looked over at his dad, who was as tall and imposing as Ledger was in a room, and stuck out my hand to give him a handshake before he looked at it, then shook his head.

“No way. For the girl who finally won over our son’s heart, you get a hug.” Mr. Cole pulled me to his chest.

“It’s so nice meeting both of you.” I looked at them and realized this would soon be my family too, especially after what Ledger and I wanted to share with them about our future.

“I’m sorry that we couldn’t get up here sooner. This guy”—Mrs. Cole pointed over at her husband—“had to go mess it all up and break his arm a few months ago.”

“Oh, no,” I said as the three of us walked over to the seats in the front of the suite. “It’s our fault for not coming to see you. I hope you’re feeling better, Mr. Cole.”

He raised his hand as if he was upset. “Please. Call us by our first names, Pete and Susan.”

My lips pulled into another smile. “You got it.”

We all sat, and Stassi joined us with beers. I shook my head and pointed at the soda in front of me. “I have a drink, but thank you.”

We spent the next hour obsessing over every single play of the game. Pete occasionally chimed in with some embarrassing stories about Ledger, but Susan would shush him every time, saying he needed to pay attention to the game.

“Your son is doing well out there,” Susan remarked as Austin helped Ledger score a goal. Ledger had told them about Austin, but hearing Susan’s cheerful praise made the butterflies in my chest flutter.

“Yeah,” I said softly while looking down toward the ice. “He is.” Susan went on, giving me a nod of approval before she started to scream at the refs for a call she didn’t agree with.

After the first period, Pete left to grab nachos, and Susan slid into the seat next to mine.

“Sorry about that.” She gestured out into the ice. “I get very serious when it comes to him playing.”

I chuckled. “It’s okay. I get it.”

She placed her hand onto my thigh and gave me a little squeeze, and we both locked eyes. “My son speaks nothing but highly of you. From the moment the two of y’all met.”

I let a few seconds pass, then placed my hand on top of hers. “I think nothing but highly of him.”

“Your son and him seem to be getting along out there?” She gestured back toward the rink.

I nodded, wanting to tell her the truth, not to sugarcoat the journey it took to get here. “Yeah. They’re warming up to the idea of each other.”

“Welcome to the family, Auburn.”

Because this was my family. I never had a mother who wanted me around, and while I wasn’t naive enough to think Ledger’s parents would be my best friends, this felt like a fresh start. Stassi came back over from the buffet and plopped into the seat next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder.

I looked around the game and realized that Ledger had assisted in the final, winning goal. My face split into a wide grin.

At the end of the day, it wasn’t about the people you shared blood with, but the family you chose to surround yourself with. This was family. My family.