Page 26

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auburn

I swallowed, getting lost in his deep-amber pools. Suddenly, the hum of the plane and the bouncing between clouds felt like nothing.

“I see your brown eyes. I see your black beard. I see your thick lips.” The last sentence came out breathier than the previous one, but I couldn’t help it.

A hand squeezed my leg, and I looked down at Ledger’s massive hand resting just above my knee.

“Good. We’re almost there.”

I looked out the window, and before I could let the panic seep back into my bones, I heard his gruff voice again. “Five things you can hear.”

I nodded, trying desperately to focus on his words. “I hear the hum of the engine.”

“Good,” he replied, his voice smooth, then he squeezed my thigh. “Another.”

“I hear the buzzing of my phone.” He smiled.

“Gimme another, Sunshine.”

“I hear the wheels of the plane coming out, which must mean we’re landing soon.” His smile somehow widened, however possible that was.

“Last one.”

“I hear your smooth voice coaching me down from this embarrassing panic attack.” His smile disappeared, then he looked behind him before pressing his mouth to the shell of my ear.

“We’re here.” I leaned over to look out the window again and realized we’d landed, and he was already unbuckling and removing his hand from my thigh.

The lights of the plane turned on, and Ledger jumped up from his seat. I ripped off the belt and tried to rush down the aisle, but Ledger blocked me from leaving.

“Oh, fuck,” I muttered as I hoisted myself onto the seat to grab my bag and smacked my head on the ceiling. Ledger chuckled. “Ledger, let me out.”

“Mom?” Austin shouted, and for a moment I hesitated, desperate to see if Ledger would say anything, but he looked away and shook his head.

“Yeah?” I called.

“Are you okay?” Austin asked.

“Yup,” I said, trying to play it cool in front of a plane full of hockey players and staff.

“Okay. You may want to turn around.”

“What?” I scrunched my face.

Every player on the team was changing, ripping off their clothes.

“Oh my God,” I screeched. “What’s happening?”

Ledger chuckled as he stripped off his shirt, revealing the defined muscles rippling across his stomach. “What’re you doing?” I whispered, trying to keep my voice low.

His lips curled into a smirk. “Come on, Sunshine. Like what you see? Anyone here meet your standards?”

Glancing behind me before turning back to him, I teased, “I have plenty of options to choose from.”

“Nah, no one would ever be into you like that.”

My mouth dropped open; it was exactly what my mother had told me for years. I would never be good enough for anyone. My lip quivered as unshed tears threatened to spill over.

We were just friends, right? It shouldn’t matter if I was looking, but what he said was a low blow. He stared at me while slipping into his pants but paused when my lip quivered and hands crossed over my chest.

“Wait…I didn’t mean…I, it was just a jok?—”

I held up my hand. “ Don’t finish that sentence.”

He didn’t know that was my mother’s catchphrase. He didn’t know I repeated that sentence to myself every single day.

I’m not good enough.

It was a trigger for me, one that hit deep in the depths of my soul. A small crack formed in my chest, but I shook my head, determined not to let the tears fall.

As I scrambled to retrieve my bag, Ledger looked me up and down. “Wait, Auburn…”

I held my hand up, signaling for him to stop as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

“Thank you for helping me…friend,” I said the last word with a punch, because in truth, he owed me nothing.

I navigated my way through a sea of half-dressed men as they changed into their suits, finally understanding why they brought their suit bags onto the plane instead of checking them. I expressed my gratitude to the coach for allowing me to fly with the team, then as I reached the exit, the flight attendant opened the doors.

Nova was already busy directing the paparazzi and photographers eagerly awaiting the players’ arrival. I gave her a soft smile before heading over to one of the waiting Ubers.

I could have sworn I heard a faint call of my name, but I didn’t dare to turn around. Instead, I informed the Uber driver of the hotel’s location, eager to get through the rest of the night.

As I sat in the Uber, the tension from the encounter with Ledger lingered in the air. His words replayed in my mind, stirring up a cocktail of regret and frustration. I let my triggers get the best of me, complicating what was supposed to be a straightforward friendship.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I tried to shake off the weight of the situation. This friendship was veering into unexpected territory, and I needed to reel it back in. I would make sure Austin got to his room okay and avoided all trouble. Afterward, though, I would need a stiff drink to quiet the chaos in my mind.