Page 47

47

ledger

my favorite game

This one was easy. I was already on the rink, but instead of my typical hockey pads, I was in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve black Henley. I had trimmed my beard and gelled my long black hair so it wasn’t falling in my face. It was easy to arrange with Coach and management to let me borrow the ice for a couple of hours.

I was already out on the ice when she appeared, coming up from the tunnels and dressed in the outfit I’d scrambled to pick out earlier with Stassi’s help. After apologizing for the, er, noisy encounter with Auburn in their bathroom, I begged Stassi for assistance to set this plan I had conjured up.

“Hi,” I said, skating toward the entrance of the boards. She had put on the rentals I’d left with the security at the door. She looked fucking beautiful with her curls wild in two big buns atop her head, some framing her face.

“I’m glad this worked. I noticed that you left without changing this morning and didn’t know where you lived, so I wanted to make sure you changed before you came here.”

She smiled, her freckles like constellations scattered across her nose, her dimples adding depth to her smile. With each graceful movement, her hips swayed a mesmerizing rhythm.

“Favorite game?” she asked, her laughter a melodic symphony on the winter breeze.

“You said you wanted to get to know me. We have seven days, and I plan to make sure you know everything.”

She wobbled on her skates until she got up to the boards. I reached out my hands, and she took mine in hers. “Remember what happened last time we were here?”

“Eh. I was an asshole then.” I grabbed her hips and lifted her over the wooden boards right onto the ice. Instinctually, her hand grasped onto the wood. “This is my redo for you.”

“I know you and Austin love skating, but I literally don’t get it,” she grumbled as she tried to steady herself. I grabbed her by her waist and turned her around so her back was pressed against my chest.

“Grab onto my forearms,” I instructed, her body melding into mine as she clutched onto me tightly. Wrapping my arms around her, my frame supported us as we glided across the rink. While I did most of the legwork, her feet followed along as best they could.

A burst of delight erupted from her as we circled the rink several times. Adjusting my grip so I continued to support and guide her, she released her hands, holding them out as if reenacting the iconic Titanic pose.

“Ledger,” she said breathlessly, and I stopped, spinning us in the middle of the rink so we were facing each other. She had a natural pink flush from the cool air sprinkling her cheeks.

“I can see why you do it.”

“Do what?” I asked.

She spun slowly and opened her arms, gesturing to the rink. “This.” I glanced around, a sudden pang tightening my chest. “What’s wrong?” Her lips twitched downward.

I shook my head. “Nothing,” I said as I guided her over to one of the penalty boxes where I’d brought some hot cocoa from a vendor outside.

As I swung open the door to the penalty box, she shot me a mock glare, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Don’t ‘nothing’ me,” she teased, her tone light, but there was something serious in her undertone as she followed me inside. With a theatrical flourish, I presented her with the cup of cocoa, the rich aroma enveloping us as she eagerly took a sip. A soft sigh of contentment escaped her lips, her eyes closing briefly in blissful appreciation.

She glanced up at me, her gaze warm and grateful. “Back when I used to work with concessions, this was my go-to treat during those chilly game nights,” she remarked, a hint of nostalgia coloring her words. She chuckled softly, the memory eliciting a wave of fondness.

I sat down next to her. “You worked at a hockey rink?”

She nodded. “When Austin was a toddler, that’s where he learned to skate.” She told me how he’d convinced the instructors to teach him, and she somehow got them to do it for free.

“He’d have to come with you to work?” I asked.

Her smile fell. “It’s my mom…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Sunshine.” I reached my fingers up to her cheek, touching her cool skin because I missed her touch against mine, though we’d been apart for mere minutes.

She shook her head. “At the last game, I think mentally I was all fucked up because of her too, which is why I pulled away from you. I was emotionally drained from being with her, and then I saw the team interacting, and felt like I’d somehow ruin all of that.”

“We’re together. A team,” I promised. She shook her head.

“But are we a team, Ledger? That’s my whole point. I don’t want to break up the team that you already have. Look at your relationship, even with Alex.”

I laughed. “Alex is my best friend. You’d never come between that.”

“Ugh.” She threw up her hands, her hot cocoa spilling a little. “But with Austin? If he ever found out, it would ruin it all, and then I would be to blame, again.”

A lone tear fell and my fingers went to wipe it, but she pushed off my fingers. “Let it fall. It makes me feel human when I cry.”

I pulled away but kept my finger trailing circles around her arm, offering her a safe space. “My mom is a narcissist, but it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I finally was able to realize it. My entire life, I thought I was the bad child and did everything wrong.” She sniffled.

“She’d watch Austin for me and then the next day tell me how selfish I was because I didn’t clean the coffee filter because I was working and going to school full-time.” She brushed her hair off her face and took a sip of her drink before her blues met my gaze.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” She laughed.

“Sunshine,” I whispered, my voice carrying a gentleness, wishing to assure her that everything would be okay. She didn’t need that reassurance from me. She didn’t need anyone telling her how to feel or giving her false hope. That had been instilled in her by her mother and wielded as both shield and sword. I refused to offer her what she already possessed inside. Instead, I resolved to provide her with the one thing she clearly deserved: space and the safety it represented. Hopefully, she would see that space as an opening to share with me. Because people weren’t supposed to use their kindness as a weapon to get what they wanted from you.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do that,” I demanded, my fingers still circling her shoulders.

“Do what?”

“Don’t try to end something because you think it would be too heavy for me or it’ll ruin something. I know this seems absolutely silly.” I pointed at the rink. “But you were right. We need to get to know each other, and I was hoping we could have these conversations. I hoped I could give you a space to have them.”

She nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered before her lower lip pursed over the cup. She looked down and grabbed two skate guards from the ground.

“What’re these for?”