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auburn

This type of confrontation was exactly what I hated. It reminded me of the way my mother would berate me for everything I’d done wrong in my life. It was the same conversation I had with Austin’s…sperm donor when I told him I was pregnant after that night. I hated flinching around Ledger, but I also hated feeling so out of control in my world and confronted with the truth.

“Sorry,” I said, and he glided a few slides back.

“When you’re ready, I’ll just skate next to you in case you fall again.”

I nodded, pushing away my curls. He’d recoiled into whatever mask he wore in front of everyone else. The Ledger I’d met last night was so different. He was kind, caring, and safe. He was warm, probably would’ve melted the ice off this rink, and had been replaced by a man of cool indifference.

I tried to catch up with him as I held the ledge, but he maintained such a distance that I’d have to shout if I wanted to say something to him.

“I just—” A couple skated toward us.

“Hey, Cap,” they said before skating off together.

“Stop,” I called out once they were gone. Turning, I clung to the wall, taking a deep breath. Sweat dripped from my forehead, partly from being out of shape and partly from struggling to find the right words.

Ledger’s brown eyes pierced me. “Are you okay?” His tone was all business with not an ounce of sincerity in it.

“I will make a big fucking scene right now if you don’t talk to me.” I was full of shit, because that scene would likely cost my son his job. If this got out, they would pick a seasoned, award-winning captain over a young rookie.

“Do it, then,” Ledger said, calling me out on my bullshit.

“I’m going to scream.” I huffed like a fucking child, throwing a full tantrum.

In a lower voice, I managed to whisper, “I just want to talk.”

“No.” Ledger turned, and instead of screaming I loved giving you a blow job last night , I decided to let nature take its course.

With Ledger’s back to me, I took one long glide forward and promptly landed on my ass—or rather, my hip, sending a sharp pain down my leg. Maybe this hadn’t been my best idea, but Ledger still spun and rushed over to me and scooped me up bridal-style.

“You did this on purpose,” he grumbled.

“I didn’t.” I yelped, and Ledger adjusted my position so I wasn’t resting on the hip I’d fallen on.

As he guided us off the ice and toward the locker room, a smirk formed on his lips. “You definitely did, Sunshine,” he remarked.

The nickname warmed me. In his arms, there was a safety that contradicted all our attempts to deny our connection to the world outside.

Lost in thoughts of him, I didn’t realize we’d made it to the locker room until he lowered me onto a bench.

Gazing around at the lockers, I frowned. “This isn’t the same locker room as before?”

It looked different—cleaner, with no one getting their rentals.

“This is the home locker room, so all the Ravens players get ready here. You guys are set up on the visitors’ side.”

“Ah.” I sighed, wincing as I touched my hip.

“Let me take a look,” he insisted, kneeling to my level.

“I’m fine,” I protested, though a bruise was likely forming. We sat there with his hand lingering over my hip. His other hand slowly undid my skates, then threw them across the room. There was a tense pause, the air heavy with anticipation.

“Ledger,” I croaked, my voice filled with desire.

No, I couldn’t do this. I had to think about Austin, my responsibilities—anything but this.

His gaze was intense as he studied me and reached for the hem of my sweater. To examine the bruise properly, though, I’d have to lower my pants.

“Let me check if you’re okay,” he murmured, desire lacing his words.

I lifted my butt, and his rough hands peeled down one side of my leggings, revealing my black lace thong.

A growl escaped him at the sight, but I closed my eyes, focusing on his touch. “Did you wear these for me, Sunshine? Hoping for seconds so I can finish what I started?”

No. Please don’t say these things to me. I couldn’t cross this line.

“The team…” I managed to say in the most professional voice I could muster, but it came out raspier than I’d intended.

“Fuck them,” he whispered. “Can I see where you got hurt?”

I still wasn’t able to look, so I just nodded. “Give me permission to pull these down, Sunshine. I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, please.” His demeanor was so reassuring and safe it was almost intoxicating, causing me to dissolve into a puddle.

He pulled off my pants, taking my thong with them. I gripped his hair to stabilize myself as he rubbed the spot.

“This is just going to leave a bruise tomorrow. Keep some ice on it, but you should live.”

I nodded.

“Now this, Sunshine,” he mused and grabbed my thighs, pulling my legs apart, “this is something we need to take care of.”

Before I had time to object, his fingers swiped my folds. When he lifted his hands, they glistened in the fluorescent lighting.

“I-I-we-we can’t,” I said, but that heady feeling from yesterday swam back to me.

“One taste?” he begged, pulling my thighs as far as the leggings puddled around my ankles would allow.

I would be divorcing my vibrators immediately; none of them could bring the same feeling Ledger’s thick hands brought or the feeling of his breath on my pussy. The man was sitting on his knees begging to lick at me.

I thought sucking his cock on a random Tuesday would be the party story I told for years to come, but this would win.

“Please…” I pleaded.

The corners of his lips twisted into a smile. “Please, what?”

“Taste me.”

“Your wish is my command,” he whispered before pressing his mouth against my throbbing and desperate cunt. I stood over him as he carefully shifted, positioning my feet on his thighs. My hands tangled in his long black hair while my head fell back, letting sheer bliss wash over me.

Every ounce of tension in my body melted away, and I became his entirely as his tongue explored every inch of my pussy. I’d never experienced anything like this before. No man had ever touched me so intimately, but in that moment, I knew what heaven was, and I never wanted to leave.

“Like fucking honey.” Ledger moaned against my drenched core. Desperation consumed me as he used his tongue in ways I never imagined possible. I clenched atop him. I was reaching a point where there was no looking back.

We were a symphony of moans and groans as he fucked me with his mouth. Shamelessly, I dug my heels into his thick thighs and bucked my hips.

As if he understood, he grasped my thighs and thrust his tongue against my clit. I wailed, not a care in the world, because I was so close stars were bursting in my periphery. It was an out-of-body experience, and Ledger was?—

“Mom? Are you in here? I heard you got hurt?”

Well, if that didn’t kill my mood…I jumped off Ledger, panic masking the blue balls I was giving to myself. “No.”

I was frantic and leaking down my thighs, and I couldn’t think about the painful ache, the fullness I was still feeling, and then the abrupt emptiness when he pulled out. I needed to make myself presentable before my son walked into the locker room with his captain’s tongue on me and my head back in undulating joy.

“Hold on, Austin. Just getting an ice pack,” I said, coughing to make my tone more normal.

Ledger seemed content and chill as I fumbled.

I stared down at him. “Get up,” I whispered, his lips glistening from my arousal. “Get yourself in the bathroom.”

A slow smirk spread on his lips. “I can’t be mad right now. That was worth the twelve hour wait.”

After pulling my pants up, I grabbed Ledger by his hoodie and dragged him toward the bathroom.

“I swear to God, this can never happen again,” I whisper-yelled.

He bowed his head. “I know.”

“It never should’ve happened in the first place,” I huffed, adjusting my thong, then pulled down my sweater and crossed my hands over my chest.

“You got a little something here.” Ledger went to touch my curls but I pulled away, flinching. “Sorry.”

Everything came crashing down around me. He was just devouring me whole and still hesitated after I flinched.

“Ledger…” He turned away.

“We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, Auburn. It’s probably best if we just forget the past twenty-four hours ever happened,” he said, his tone heavy with finality.

I swallowed hard, knowing he was right, but it was difficult to accept. I wanted to explain why I flinched, to share everything with him, but he was Austin’s mentor.

There could be nothing between us. It was impossible to imagine a world where we could be together, so pretending like we lived in this fairy tale was a lost cause.

He had taught me men could be safe and warm and kind. That was a lesson worth having. I needed to let him go, though, and go back to pretending like we didn’t know each other.

Nodding, I watched as he left the room. Austin’s voice brought me back to reality, and I hobbled over to where he stood in the center of the changing room, his brows furrowed.

“Mom, are you okay? I heard you weren’t feeling well. Did Cap take care of you?” His words held a different meaning, but I could only nod and reassure him I was fine.

“Are you ready to go back out there?” Austin asked.

“If it’s okay with you, baby, I think I want to call it a day and head home. I barely slept last night, and I’m exhausted,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Should I take you to a doctor?”

“I’m fine,” I insisted, my tone light but hiding a myriad of emotions.

When dropping Austin at his house, I claimed that my hip was hurting and I was too exhausted so I didn’t have to go up. Fortunately, I found a parking spot right outside of my apartment before I practically bolted up the stairs.

I had all intentions of cleaning up the mess from earlier, but I passed out on the bed after throwing the covers over myself and wallowing. It was so fast and wild with Ledger, but he was right. I couldn’t risk Austin’s career. I’d worked too hard to help him get here.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw his face, and as much as I willed the tears not to come, the floodgates opened. The truth was staring me right in the face, and I was terrified. I was so scared of opening my heart, making selfish decisions, and using this move as a fresh start for myself.

I was terrified of being alone. Throughout my entire adult life, I had never truly been alone, even when I was surrounded by my teenage son. I had never felt touch-starved before, but after the way Ledger handled me in that locker room, everything changed. I realized I was starving for his touch, craving the warmth, light, and safety he provided. I picked up my phone, dialed Emma’s number, and she picked up on the first ring.

“Come on, old lady. It’s past your bedtime. What’re you doing calling me this late?” Her cheerful mood made my tears pour out.

“Em?” I asked through sobbed hiccups.

“What happened?” Her tone quickly shifted to that of concern.

“I think I need you.”